Apr 202017
 
Joke Of The Day: The Zoo Mime One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. Unfortunately, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zoo keeper grabs him and drags him into his office.

The zoo keeper explains to the mime that the zoo’s most popular attraction, a gorilla has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts.

So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before crowd comes. He discovers that it’s a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion’s cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd
loves it.

At the end of the day the zoo keeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction.

Well, this goes on for some time, the mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion he slips and falls. The mime is terrified. The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce. The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind. Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling, “Help, Help me!”, but the lion is quick and pounces.

The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says, “Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?”

 

 

 

Rescued Elephant Beats The Odds

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Apr 192016
 

A rescued baby elephant, named Ellie, beats the odds with the help of his German Shepherd companion.

Enjoy!

Everyone loves a canine companion, and this baby elephant is no exception! The tiny pachyderm arrived at the Thula Thula Rhino Orphanage in South Africa after being rejected by his herd. Critically ill, the youngster had very little chance of survival. But thanks to round-the-clock care from sanctuary staff, and a bit of help from a special canine companion, the baby elephant is on the road to a full recovery.

 

Joke Of The Day: Zoo Order

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Oct 162014
 
Rubber Chicken The manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to order a pair of animals. He sat at his computer and typed the following sentence: “I would like to place an order for two mongooses, to be delivered at your earliest convenience.”

He stared at the screen, focusing on that odd word mongooses. Then he deleted the word and added another, so that the sentence now read: “I would like to place an order for two mongeese, to be delivered at your earliest convenience.”

Again he stared at the screen, this time focusing on the new word, which seemed just as odd as the original one. Finally, he deleted the whole sentence and started all over. “Everyone knows no full-stocked zoo should be without a mongoose,” he typed. “Please send us two of them.”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: At The Zoo

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Aug 262014
 
Rubber Chicken A man started a new job at a zoo. He was given his first job by the zoo owner – to clean out the large tropical fish tank, which contained many exotic species.

While removing some gravel from the tank with his spade, he accidently hit one of the fish and killed it. Worried about losing his job for this mistake, he decided to hide the evidence. He took the fish and fed it to the lions because lions eat anything.

The zoo owner did not notice the missing fish and gave the man a new job – to muck out the chimps. He was in the middle of mucking out when two of the chimps became a bit over familiar and, in an attempt to get them away the man lashed out with his spade, killing two chimps. In his panic he decided to hide the evidence and fed the unfortunate chimpanzees to the lions because lions eat anything.

The zoo owner was pleased with the man’s work and as his final task for the day he asked him to collect honey from the zoo’s beehives. The man tried hard to do this without upsetting the bees, but some got angry and stung him. He grabbed his spade and whirled it above his head, squashing and killing several dozen bees. Plagued with guilt, he fed these to the lions as well because lions eat anything.

The next day, a new lion arrived at the zoo. He inquired of the existing residents “what’s the food like here?” One of the zoo’s resident lions said, “Oh, it’s great. Only yesterday we had fish, chimps and mushy bees.”

 

 

Baby Black-Footed Cats Hunt Crickets

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Jul 212014
 

Baby Black-Footed Cats hunt crickets at the Philadelphia Zoo like stone-cold merciless killers.

Enjoy!

Zoos find themselves in the strange position of buying animals for other animals. In this case, the Philadelphia Zoo got a shipment of live crickets for the Black-footed Cat kittens to play with. You remember when they were little. They’ve grown a lot, and now are almost as big as their mother! Drogon, Viserion, and Rhaegal are three months old now.

It seems weird to call them Black-foot Cat kittens, instead of just Black-footed kittens. But “Black-footed Cat” is the species. It’s like saying “Sand Cat cubs” instead of just Sand cubs. But wait- at what point do you classifying wild cats as cubs instead of kittens? Black-footed cats are smaller than domestic cats, but they are still wildcats!

Source…

via
 

Break Dancing Gorilla

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Jun 282011
 

Video Description:

Zola, nine-years old, is one of eight Western lowland gorillas currently living at the Calgary Zoo as part of the Association of Zoos and Aquariums Gorilla Species Survival Plan. He loves to play in water and keepers regularly give him the opportunity to do so as part of the enrichment activities they plan and vary on a daily basis.

Joke Of The Day

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Oct 242009
 

A small zoo in Alabama acquires a rare gorilla, who quickly becomes agitated. The zookeeper determines that the female ape is in heat, but there are no male apes available for mating.

The zookeeper approaches a redneck janitor with a proposition. “Would you be willing to have sex with this gorilla for $500?” he asks.

The janitor accepts the offer, but only on three conditions: “First, I don’t want to have to kiss her. And second, you can never tell anyone about this.” The zookeeper agrees to the conditions and asks about the third.

“Well,” says the janitor, “I’m gonna need another week to come up with the $500.”