Jul 142017
 
Joke Of The Day: Dog Plants A teacher was telling her class about plant names that have the word “dog” in them, such as dog-rose, dogwood, dog violet.

She asked the class if they could name another flower with the preface “dog”.

Steven raised his hand and said, “Sure Miss Jones. How about a ‘collie’ flower?”

 

 

 

Jul 062017
 

PCisms (Politically Correct Terminology)

aesthetically challenged – ugly

aquatically challenged – drowning

biologically challenged – dead

blubber lovers – whaler

bovine control officers – Dallas Cowboys

Caucasian culturally-disadvantaged – white trash

certified astrological consultant – crackpot

certified crystal therapist – crackpot

certified past-life regression hypnotist – crackpot

chemically challenged – drug addict

chronologically gifted – old

client of the correctional system – prisoner

codependent – finger-pointer

constructivist psychotherapy – psychobabble

creatively re-dyed – stained

cyclically challenged – having PMS

differently organized – messy

differently-brained – stupid

economically marginalized – poor

energy-efficient – off

environmentally correct human – dead

equal opportunity employee – bisexual hooker

erectionally challenged – impotent

facially challenged – ugly

factually unencumbered – ignorant

fecally plenary – full of crap

female gender biased – prefers women who shave their legs

financially inept – po’

folically independent – bald

genetically discriminating – racist

geological correction – earthquake

gerontologically advanced – old

grammatically challenged – one who has difficulties with grammar or (by extension) punctuation or spelling

gravitationally challenged – fat

horizontally challenged – thin

horizontally gifted – fat

in denial – unaware that forgetting something obviously proves it happened

in recovery – drunk/junkie

intellectually impaired – stupid

living impaired – dead

maintenance hole – man-hole

male gender biased – prefers men who shave their chests

mechanically challenged – broken down automobile

melanin-impoverished – white

metabolically challenged – dead

microslothically challenged – Windows user

monetarily challenged – poor

morally (ethically) challenged – a crook

morally handicapped – someone who has no other reason to park in a handicapped zone

motivationally dispossessed – lazy

musically delayed – tone deaf

nasally gifted – runny nose

nasally gifted – large nose

nitpicklike – humor challenged

one who is PC – target practice

ontologically challenged – fictional or mythological

osmotically challenged – thirsty

outdoor urban dwellers – homeless

people of height – too tall

person of region – redneck

person of substance – fat

persons living with entropy – dead

persons of large stature – NY Giants

petroleum transfer technician – gas station attendent

photonically non-receptive – blind

residentially flexible – homeless

romantically challenged – not with somebody at the moment

rustically inclined – redneck

selectively perceptive – insane

sex care provider – prostitute

sexually focused chronologically gifted individual – dirty old man

socially challenged – geek or nerd

socially separated – convict

spacially perplexed – drunk

street activity index – crime rate

structurally challenged – broken

suffering from a sex addiction (female) – slut

suffering from a sex addiction (male) – stud

target equity group – vocal minority

uniquely coordinated – clumsy

uniquely fortuned individual on an alternative career path – loser

verbally challenged – mute, dumb

vertically challenged – short

visually challenged – blind

youth group – gang

 

Jul 062017
 
oke Of The Day: An Odd Joke Once there was a guy whose parents named him Odd. All through school, Odd was made fun of for his odd name. Eventually, as an grown man, he found a beautiful woman to marry and raise a family with. During a summer day in their 70s, Odd told his wife as they sat in the living room that he had never liked his odd name. He told her that, when he died, she should just put his birthday and date of death on the grave, without his name. Sure enough, several years later, Odd passed away. His wife did as he had requested, and buried him, putting only his birthday and date of death on the gravestone. But it was futile. To this day, people still walk by the grave and say:

“Isn’t that Odd?”

 

 

 

Jul 042017
 
Joke Of The Day: Learning About Patriotism Independence Day was approaching and the teacher took the opportunity to teach her class all about patriotism.

She said to them, “You know, we live in a great country. And one of the best things about it is that we are all free.”

At this, a little boy marched up to her from the back of the class, put his hands on his hips and said angrily, “I’m not free. I’m four.”