The Tiny Cabin

A social worker from a big City in Massachusetts recently transferred to Mountains of West Virginia and was on the first tour of her new territory when she came upon the tiniest cabin she had ever seen in her life. Intrigued, she went up and knocked on the door.

“Anybody home?” she asked.

“Yep,” came a kid’s voice through the door.

“Is your father there?” asked the social worker.

“Pa? Nope, he left afore Ma came in,” said the kid.

“Well, is your mother there?” persisted the social worker.

“Ma? Nope, she left just afore I got here,” said the kid.

“But,” protested the social worker, “are you never together as a family?”

“Sure, but not here,” said the kid through the door. “This is the outhouse!”

Government workers are so very smart. Aren’t you overjoyed that they’ll soon be handling all our financial, educational and medical dilemmas?

 

Final Exam – West Virginia University School Of Engineering

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10-pound possum 8 inches out from the trunk.

2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? 66 Ford Fairlane, 69 Chevrolet Chevelle, 64 Pontiac GTO.

3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?

4. A pulpwood cutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser Tallboys will it take to cut the trees?

5. If every old backyard refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?

6. A front porch is constructed of 2×8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1 inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

7. A man owns a Logan County home sitting on 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man’s land?

8. A 2-ton pulpwood truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic loading of secondary roads, what are the chances that it will strike a vehicle that has a muffler? For a 10-point bonus question, how many of those drivers will be operating vehicles with a suspended license due to a DUI conviction?

9. A coal mine operates an NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?

10. At a reduction in gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town that has been bypassed by the interstate to breed a country-western singer?

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