Shady Maple – One Of America’s Best Buffets

One of America’s Best Buffets Is Nowhere Near Las Vegas

Shady Maple - One Of America's Best Buffets

It’s a trip back in time, at very reasonable prices.

From Food & Wine:

My introduction to Pennsylvania Dutch cooking came the summer my parents decided to send me to live on a farm in Lancaster County. I know exactly what they expected me to glean from the experience, and I’m proud to say I learned absolutely nothing I was supposed to.

Beyond a newfound respect for the intelligence of pigs, and an addiction to Turkey Hill brand iced teas, what I really came away with was an abiding affection for the often brutally simple cuisine. We’re talking about a group of people who, at least back in those days, considered ketchup an extravagance. That kind of simple.

It’s easy to understand why some people don’t get Lancaster’s Shady Maple Smorgasbord—at all. I absolutely get why, upon encountering the 200-foot buffet, a good number of diners are more than a little perplexed. How much desiccated cooked veg does one groaning board need? How many lightly-seasoned cold salads, or eggs pickled in bright red beet juice, can one consume in one sitting? Are they seriously serving baked ribs, without irony? Does the gravy go on everything, or only most things?

My own first trip to Shady Maple, years after I’d last indulged in the local cooking, I had no such questions. Entering the buffet area, I was transported to Mrs. Hoover’s poorly-lit kitchen, back in Ephrata. There were the baked meats. The lima beans. The potato rolls—the real potato rolls, ones made fresh. This time, however, I could go back for seconds, and not risk another lecture on the evils of gluttony. A trip back to a simpler time, but without the bad bits. In these tumultuous times, what more could you ask for?

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Joke Of The Day: Redneck Vacation

Rubber Chicken Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, “Ya know, I reckon I’m ’bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I’m gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go.”

“Well, what are you going to do, then?” Luther asks.

“Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant.”

“Yeah,” Luther agrees.

“Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas,and Earlene got pregnant again.”

“I remember,” Luther says.

“Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earlene didn’t get pregnant again.”

“Yep,” Luther says. “So, what you gonna do this year that’s different?”

“Well,” Billy Bob says, “this year I’m taking Earlene with me.”

 

 

Where Professionals Go On Vacation

Where Professionals Go On Vacation
Where should you go for your next vacation? Well, it all depends on your present job. Here are the top US travel destinations for various occupations:

Artists go to: Painted Desert, Arizona

Athletes go to: Olympia Heights, Florida

Candy Makers: Carmel, Indiana

College Professors: University City, Missouri

Ecologists: Green Bay, Wisconsin

Firefighters: Smokey Mountains

Fortune tellers: Palm Springs, California

Geologists: Stone Mountain, Georgia

Gossip Columnists: Grapevine, Texas

Helicopter Pilots: Hoover, Alabama

Home Builders: New Castle, Pennsylvania

Jewelers: Pearl City, Hawaii

Landscapers: Garden City, Michigan

Lawyers: Accident, Maryland

Loan Officers: Fairbanks, Alaska

Lumber Jacks: Thousand Oaks, California

Manicurists: Finger Lakes, New York

Optometrists: Plainview, New York

Pastors: Chapel Hill, North Carolina

Pianists: Florida Keys

Podiatrists: Arches National Park, Utah

Politicians: Dodge City, Kansas

Prostitutes: Pleasure Ridge, Kentucky

Real Estate Salesmen: Loveland, Colorado

Refrigerator Repairmen: Chilum, Maryland

Retired Army Officers: East Point, Georgia

Sailors: Marina, California

Sheriffs: Marshalltown, Iowa

Tree Trimmers: Long Branch, New Jersey

TV Evangelists: Paradise, California

 

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