Jun 012017
 

How To Simulate Life In The Navy1. Buy a dumpster, paint it gray and live in it for 6 months straight.

2. Run all of the piping and wires inside your house on the outside of the
walls.

3. Pump 10 inches of nasty, crappy water into your basement, then pump it
out, clean up, and paint the basement “deck gray.”

4. Every couple of weeks, dress up in your best clothes and go the
scummiest part of town, find the most run down, trashy bar you can, pay
$10 per beer until you’re hammered, then walk home in the freezing cold.

5. Perform a weekly disassembly and inspection of your lawnmower.

6. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays turn your water temperature up to
200 degrees, then on Tuesday and Thursday turn it down to 10 degrees. On
Saturdays, and Sundays declare to your entire family that they used too
much water during the week, so all showering is secured.

7. Raise your bed to within 6 inches of the ceiling.

8. Have your next door neighbor come over each day at 5am, and blow a
whistle so loud that Helen Keller could hear it and shout “Reveille,
Reveille, all hands heave out and trice up”.

9. Have your mother-in-law write down everything she’s going to do the
following day, then have her make you stand in the back yard at 6am and
read it to you.

10. Eat the raunchiest Mexican food you can find for three days straight,
then lock yourself out of the bathroom for 12 hours, and hang a sign
On the door that reads “Secured-contact OA division at X-3053.”

11. Submit a request form to your father-in-law, asking if it’s OK for you
to leave your house before 3pm.

12. Invite 200 of your not-so-closest friends to come over, then board up
all the windows and doors to your house for 6 months. After the 6
months is up, take down the boards, wave at your friends and family
through the front window of your home…you can’t leave until the next
day you have duty.

13. Shower with above-mentioned friends.

14. Make your family qualify to operate all the appliances in your home
(i.e., Dishwasher operator, blender technician, etc).

15. Walk around your car for 4 hours checking the tire pressure every 15
minutes.

16. Sit in your car and let it run for 4 hours before going anywhere. This
is to ensure your engine is properly “lighted off.”

17. Empty all the garbage bins in your house, and sweep your driveway 3
times a day, whether they need it or not. (Now sweepers, start your
brooms, clean sweep down fore and aft, empty all trashcans over the
fantail)

18. Repaint your entire house once a month.

19. Cook all of your food blindfolded, groping for any spice and seasoning
you can get your hands on.

20. Use eighteen scoops of budget coffee grounds per pot, and allow each
pot to sit 5 hours before drinking.

21. Have your neighbor collect all your mail for a month, read your
magazines, and randomly lose every 5th item.

22. Spend $20,000 on a satellite system for your TV, but only watch CNN
and the Weather Channel.

23. Avoid watching TV with the exception of movies which are played in the
middle of the night. Have the family vote on which movie to watch
and then show a different one.

24. Have your 5-year-old cousin give you a haircut with goat shears.

25. Sew back pockets to the front of your pants.

26. Spend 2 weeks in the red-light districts of Europe, and call it “world
travel.”

27. Attempt to spend 5 years working at McDonalds, and NOT get promoted.

28. Ensure that any promotions you do get are from stepping on the dead
bodies of your coworkers.

29. Needle gun the aluminum siding on your house after your neighbors have
gone to bed.

30. When your children are in bed, run into their room with a megaphone,
and shout at the top of your lungs that your home is under attack, and
order them to man their battle stations. (“General quarters, general
quarters, all hands man your battle stations”)

31. Make your family menu a week ahead of time and do so without checking
the pantry and refrigerator.

32. Post a menu on the refrigerator door informing your family that you
are having steak for dinner. Then make them wait in line for at least an
hour, when they finally get to the kitchen, tell them that you are out of
steak, but you have dried ham or hot dogs. Repeat daily until they don’t
pay attention to the menu any more so they just ask for hot dogs.

33. When baking a cake, prop up one side of the pan while it is in the
oven. Spread icing on real thick to level it off.

34. In the middle of January, place a podium at the end of your driveway.
Have you family stand watches at the podium, rotating at 4-hour intervals.

35. Lock yourself and your family in your house for 6 weeks. Then tell
them that at the end of the 6th week you’re going to take them to
Disneyland for “weekend liberty.” When the end of the 6th week rolls
around, inform them that Disneyland has been canceled due to the fact that
they need to get ready for Engineering-certification, and that it will be
another week before they can leave the house.

36. In your grim, gray dumpster (refer to #1), with 200 of your
not-so-closest friend (cite par. 12) regardless of gender, suffer through
PMS!

37. Sleep on the shelf in your closet. Replace the closet door with a
curtain. Have you wife whip open the curtain about 3 hours after you
go to sleep. She should then shine a flashlight in your eyes and mumble
“Sorry, wrong rack.”

38. Renovate your bathroom. Build a wall across the middle of your
bathtub, move the shower head to chest level. When you take showers, make
sure you shut off the water while you soap down.

39. When there is a thunderstorm in your area, find a wobbly rocking chair
and rock as hard as you can until you become nauseous. have a supply of
stale crackers in your shirt pocket.

40. Put lube oil in your humidifier and set it on high.

41. For ex-engineering types: leave the lawn mower running in your living
room eight hours a day.

42. Have the paperboy give you a haircut.

43. Once a week, blow compressed air up your chimney, making sure the wind
carries the soot onto your neighbors house. Ignore his complaints.

44. Every other month buy green or red marine primer and put it in a paint
sprayer. Spray it over the roof of your house onto your neighbors
car. Ignore his complaints.

45. Lock wire the lug nuts on your car.

46. Buy a trash compactor, but use it only once a week. Store the garbage
on the other side of your bathtub.

47. Get up every night around midnight and have a peanut butter and jelly
sandwich on stale bread.

48. Set your alarm clock to go off at random during the night, jump up and
get dressed as fast as you can making sure you button up the top
button on your shirt, stuff you pants into your socks. Run out into the
backyard and uncoil the garden hose.

49. Once a month, take every major appliance apart and put them back
together again.

50. Install a fluorescent lamp under the coffee table and then get under
it and read books.

51. Raise the thresholds and lower the top sills of your front and back
doors so that you either trip or bang your head every time you pass
through one of them.

52. Every so often, throw the cat in the pool and shout “Man overboard,
starboard side” Then run into the house and sweep all the pots and
dishes off the counter. Yell at the wife and kids for not having the
kitchen “stowed for sea.”

53. Put on the headphones from your stereo set, but don’t plug them in.
Hang a paper cup around your neck with string. Go stand in front of your
stove. Say … to no one in particular “Stove manned and ready” Stand
there for three or four hours. And say again to no one in particular
“stove secured.” Roll up your headphones and paper cup and place them in a
box.

 

May 292017
 

The Difference Between Memorial Day And Veterans Day Explained

The Difference Between Memorial Day And Veterans Day

What is the difference between Memorial Day and Veterans Day? People often confuse the two remembrances, both reserved to honor military personnel but with some nuances between the two.

The Department of Veterans Affairs clarifies the confusion on its website.

“Many people confuse Memorial Day and Veterans Day,” military officials wrote on the agency’s home page. “Memorial Day is a day for remembering and honoring military personnel who died in the service of their country, particularly those who died in battle or as a result of wounds sustained in battle.

Veterans Day is all-inclusive — honoring all veterans, either dead or living — but intended as a day to literally thank military personnel for their service to country.

“While those who died are also remembered, Veterans Day is the day set aside to thank and honor ALL those who served honorably in the military – in wartime or peacetime,” officials write. “In fact, Veterans Day is largely intended to thank LIVING veterans for their service, to acknowledge that their contributions to our national security are appreciated, and to underscore the fact that all those who served – not only those who died – have sacrificed and done their duty.”

The history of both days of observance are also markedly different. While Memorial Day dates its origins to the period following the Civil War, Veterans Day has its roots in the early part of the 20th century.

“Originally known as Decoration Day, it originated in the years following the Civil War and became an official federal holiday in 1971,” the History Channel explains in detailing the origins of Memorial Day. “Many Americans observe Memorial Day by visiting cemeteries or memorials, holding family gatherings and participating in parades. Unofficially, at least, it marks the beginning of summer.”

Conversely, Veterans Day traces its history in the days following the end of World War I, according to the Department of Veterans Affairs.

“World War I – known at the time as “The Great War” – officially ended when the Treaty of Versailles was signed on June 28, 1919, in the Palace of Versailles outside the town of Versailles, France,” agency officials explain. “However, fighting ceased seven months earlier when an armistice, or temporary cessation of hostilities, between the Allied nations and Germany went into effect on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month.”

The numerical significance of that cessation gives rise to the date of Nov. 11, 1918, being generally regarded as the end of “the war to end all wars.” Sadly, there have been wars since — including the ongoing fight against terrorism that has the distinction of being the longest-running war in U.S. history.

And what is the significance of the red poppies that some people wear each Memorial Day?

Another difference between both days is the wearing of poppies on Memorial Day. Why are red poppies worn?

“The wearing of poppies in honor of America’s war dead is traditionally done on Memorial Day, not Veterans Day,” officials of the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs say. “The practice of wearing of poppies takes its origin from the poem in In Flanders Fields, written in 1915 by John McCrae.”

Those wishing to don red poppies for use on Memorial Day can contact various veterans service organizations, including the Veterans of Foreign Wars of the United States (VFW) or the American Legion. These and other veterans organizations distribute poppies annually on Memorial Day.

“You can find veterans groups in the Veterans Service Organization link on VA’s Veterans Day web page,” the agency writes. “Veterans groups in your area can be found in your local phone book. Look in the yellow pages under “Veterans and Military Organizations” or a similar heading.”

Come November, Veterans Day offers another chance to honor those who serve. The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs offers free posters for those wishing to honor military personnel on that day. Poster requests are fulfilled until the inventory is exhausted. People also can download or print their own poster from the Veterans Day Poster Gallery.

 
 
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Vietnam War Veteran’s Body Displayed At Wake Without Coffin

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May 192017
 

A Georgia funeral home refused to put Veteran George Taylor in a casket because of problems with his life insurance payment.

Vietnam War Veteran's Body Displayed At Wake Without Coffin

People are outraged over photos on social media of a Vietnam War veteran displayed at his wake on a gurney covered in an American flag.

No coffin was available for the visitation held at Heritage Funeral Home in Fort Oglethorpe, Georgia, WTVC reports.

“At first we were okay with it,” said a family member, “but like I told the guy, I said this was very disrespectful to my dad.”

Taylor’s family said the funeral home refused to put George Taylor in a casket because of problems with his life insurance payment.

Taylor’s son, James, said the family was given little notice of the problem prior to the visitation.

“They came to me and told me that unless $9,000 was paid, they couldn’t put him into the ground,” he told ABC 7 New York.

“Mr. Taylor was a two-term Vietnam Vet,” wrote Ella Moss on Facebook. “We live in the Greatest Country in the world, and this is the best we can do for our soldiers. Not even a pillow for his head.”

Funeral home representative David Cummings said they did what the family asked.

“We were trying to honor the request and let them have some closure by viewing their loved one.”

Watch George Taylor’s tribute video here

 
Photo: Facebook / Ella Moss

 
 

 
 

Marine Endures Beast Workout

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May 052017
 

The United States best fighting force in the world. Bar none. Here’s why.

Can you even WATCH his workout routine without needing a rest?

This bad ass routine will either embarrass or inspire you.

 

 
 
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Dog Performs CPR On It’s Owner

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Apr 202017
 

Deril the dancing dog proved he could be more than just a best friend when he performed CPR on his handler during a World Championship competition.

The talented canine showed he had to skills to be a lifesaver, giving ‘mouth-to-mouth’ to resuscitate Lusy Imbergerova after she was ‘hit by a grenade’.

It was all part of a brilliant military-themed routine by the pair, who have previously found success on Italy’s Got Talent.

In the astonishing video of their performance the pair stride around to a military tune.

Lusy then drops a grenade that ‘blows up’ in her face leaving her severely injured.

Deril rushes over to the rescue, and begins to press against her chests with his paws.

He then performs a ‘kiss of life’ to bring Lusy back from the dead.

 

 
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Operation Teapot

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Mar 312017
 
Operation Teapot was a series of fourteen nuclear test explosions conducted at the Nevada Test Site in the first half of 1955. It was preceded by Operation Castle, and followed by Operation Wigwam. Wigwam was, administratively, a part of Teapot, but it is usually treated as a class of its own. The aims of the operation were to establish military tactics for ground forces on a nuclear battlefield and to improve the nuclear weapons used for strategic delivery.

This is an air burst explosion and we watch as the fireball actually touches the earth.

 

 
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Mar 272017
 

Over the last two decades, the Pentagon has lost an astonishing $10 trillion dollars… and the Defense Department has no idea where it went!

$10 Trillion Missing From Pentagon And No One Knows Where It Is

Over a mere two decades, the Pentagon lost track of a mind-numbing $10 trillion — that’s trillion, with a fat, taxpayer-funded “T” — and no one, not even the Department of Defense, really knows where it went or on what it was spent.

Even though audits of all federal agencies became mandatory in 1996, the Pentagon has apparently made itself an exception, and a full 20 years later stands firmly resolute in never having complied.

Defense officials insist an audit would take too long and ironically cost too much.

“Over the last 20 years, the Pentagon has broken every promise to Congress about when an audit would be completed,” Rafael DeGennaro, director of Audit the Pentagon, told the Guardian recently. “Meanwhile, Congress has more than doubled the Pentagon’s budget.”

President Trump’s newly-proposed budget seeks to toss an additional $54 billion into the evidently bottomless pit.

Without the mandated audit, the Department Of Defense could be purchasing damned near anything, at any cost, and use, or give, it — to anyone, for any reason.

Officials with the Government Accountability Office and Office of the Inspector General have catalogued egregious financial disparities at the Pentagon for years — yet the Defense Department grouses the cost and energy necessary to perform an audit in compliance with the law makes it untenable.

Astonishingly, the Pentagon’s own watchdog tacitly approves this technically illegal workaround — and the legally gray and, yes, literally, on-the-books-corrupt practices in tandem — to what would incontrovertibly be a most unpleasant audit, indeed.

Take the following of myriad examples, called “Plugging,” for which Pentagon bookkeepers are not only encouraged to conjure figures from thin air, but, in many cases, they would be physically and administratively incapable of performing the job without doing so — without ever having faced consequences for this brazen cooking of books.

Reuters reported the results of an investigation into Defense’s magical number-crunching well over three years ago, on November 18, 2013 — detailing the illicit tasks of 15-year employee, Linda Woodford [who] spent the last 15 years of her career inserting phony numbers in the U.S. Department of Defense’s accounts.”

Woodford, who has since retired, and others like her, act as individual pieces in the amassing chewed gum only appearing to plug a damning mishandling of funds pilfered from the American people to fund wars overseas for resources in the name of U.S. defense.

“Every month until she retired in 2011,” Scot J. Paltrow wrote for Reuters, “she says, the day came when the Navy would start dumping numbers on the Cleveland, Ohio, office of the Defense Finance and Accounting Service, the Pentagon’s main accounting agency. Using the data they received, Woodford and her fellow DFAS accountants there set about preparing monthly reports to square the Navy’s books with the U.S. Treasury’s – a balancing-the-checkbook maneuver required of all the military services and other Pentagon agencies.

“And every month, they encountered the same problem. Numbers were missing. Numbers were clearly wrong. Numbers came with no explanation of how the money had been spent or which congressional appropriation it came from. ‘A lot of times there were issues of numbers being inaccurate,’ Woodford says. ‘We didn’t have the detail … for a lot of it.’”

Where a number of disparities could be corrected through hurried communications, a great deal — thousands each month, for each person on the task — required fictitious figures. Murkily deemed, “unsubstantiated change actions” — tersely termed, “plugs” — this artificial fix forcing records into an unnatural alignment is common practice at the Pentagon.

Beyond bogus books, the Pentagon likely flushed that $10 trillion in taxes down the toilet of inanity that is unchecked purchasing by inept staff who must be devoid of prior experience in the field of defense.

This tax robbery would eclipse the palatability of blood money — if it weren’t also being wasted on items such as the 7,437 extraneous Humvee front suspensions — purchased in surplus over the inexplicable 14-year supply of 15,000 unnecessary Humvee front suspensions already gathering warehouse-shelf dust.

And there are three items of note on this particular example, of many:

One, the U.S. Department of Defense considers inventory surpassing a three-year supply, “excessive.”

Two, the stupefying additional seven-thousand-something front suspensions arrived, as ordered, during a period of demand reduced by half.

Three, scores of additional items — mostly unaccounted for in inventory — sit untouched and aging in storage, growing not only incapable of being used, but too dangerous to be properly disposed of safely.

Worse, contractors greedily sink hands into lucrative contracts — with all the same supply-based waste at every level, from the abject disaster that is the $1 trillion F-35 fighter program, to the $8,123.50 shelled out for Bell Helicopter Textron helicopter gears with a price tag of $445.06, to the DoD settlement with Boeing for overcharges of a whopping $13.7 million.

The latter included a charge to the Pentagon of $2,286 — spent for an aluminum pin ordinarily costing just $10 — the irony of whose 228.6 percent markup cannot be overstated.

Considering all the cooking of numbers apparently fueled with burning money stateside, you would think Defense channeled its efforts into becoming a paragon of economic efficiency when the military defends the United States. Overseas. From terrorism. And from terrorists. And terrorist-supporting nations.

But this is the Pentagon — and a trickle of telling headlines regularly grace the news, each evincing yet another missing shipment of weapons, unknown allocation of funds, or retrieval of various U.S.-made arms and munitions by some terrorist group deemed politically less acceptable than others by officials naming pawns.

In fact, so many American weapons and supplies lost by the DoD and CIA become the property of actual terrorists — who then use them sadistically against civilians and strategically against our proxies and theirs — it would be negligent not to describe the phenomenon as pattern, whether or not intent exists behind it.

For now the painstaking audit imperative to Department Of Defense accountability remains only a theory… while the Pentagon’s $10 trillion sits as the world’s largest elephant in apathetic America’s living room.

 

 
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The Philadelphia Experiment

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Mar 152017
 

The Philadelphia Experiment

Almost everyone has heard of the Philadelphia Experiment, although the number of people who actually have any idea as to what it was all about are nowhere near as numerous. The Experiment seems to fall into the same realm as the Kennedy Assassination; clouded by rumor and supposition, the exact truth of either incident will probably never be known. Both events are also plagued by a mass of incorrect or inaccurate information. Conspiracy buffs are more than happy to create wild, intricate plots involving virtually anyone and everyone on the planet (and in the case of the Philadelphia Experiment, off the planet).


THE FACTS AS WE KNOW THEM

On August 12, 1943 (or October 28, 1943 – accounts differ) the US Navy conducted a test of some sort on the USS Eldridge (DE [Destroyer Escort] 173) at the Philadelphia Navy Yard. The exact nature of this test is open to speculation. Possible tests include experiments in magnetic invisibility, radar invisibility, optical invisibility or degaussing (rendering the ship immune to magnetic mines). The test (or tests) were conducted, only to produce undesirable results. Afterwards, the project (supposedly called ‘Project Rainbow‘) was canceled.

The Philadelphia Experiment - U.S.S. Eldridge at sea in 1944

U.S.S. Eldridge at sea in 1944

As one can easily see, the actual facts are scanty. The Navy denies that any sort of experiment ever took place, and the ship’s logs show that the USS Eldridge was nowhere near Philadelphia at the time the test was supposed to take place. Of course, logs can be faked, and the government and military has lied before about certain events in the interests of secrecy and national security (witness the Manhattan Project). On the other hand, research has shown no evidence of a “Project Rainbow“, although there was a code name “Rainbow“; it was used to designate the Allied plans to combat the Axis in World War II and had nothing to do with any form of experimental technology. As a final note, it should be pointed out that even some basic research (the World Wide Web is loaded with relevant sites) will show that the entire ‘experiment’ may in fact be a massive hoax, a modern urban legend that has grown to fantastic proportions over time. Such sensationalistic writing has been successful in creating such similar epic myths before, with the “Bermuda Triangle” a prime example.

THE SUPPOSED ‘TRUE STORY’ OF

THE PHILADELPHIA EXPERIMENT

According to certain accounts, the actual results of the experiment involve occurrences far stranger than anyone could possibly imagine. The tests being conducted were an attempt to render a ship invisible to enemy radar. This was to be accomplished by wrapping an electromagnetic ‘bottle’ around the ship in question, absorbing or deflecting radar waves. The bottle was created by two (or four – accounts differ) massive Tesla coils which acted as electromagnetic generators; one was mounted forward and one was mounted aft. Other accounts state that a series of magnetic generators, called degaussers, were used. When activated, the electromagnetic field would extend out from the ship and divert radar waves around the ship, making the Eldridge invisible to radar receivers.

U.S.S. Eldridge at sea April 25th, 1944

When the actual test was put into motion, a number of unexpected and bizarre side effects occurred. As the electromagnetic field increased in strength, it began to extend as far as 100 yards out from the ship in all directions, forming a large sphere. Within this field, the ship became fuzzy and indistinct, and a greenish haze formed around the vessel, obscuring it from view. Eventually, the only visible object was the outline of the hull of the Eldridge where it entered the water. Then, to the amazement of onlookers, the entire ship vanished from view.

It was at this point (the vanishing of the Eldridge) that the true power of the electromagnetic field that had been created was revealed. The Eldridge had not only vanished from the view of observers in Philadelphia, it had vanished from Philadelphia all together! The ship had been instantly transported several hundred miles – from Philadelphia to Norfolk, Virginia. After a few minutes, the ship once again vanished, to return to Philadelphia.

To the Navy, the test had succeeded beyond their wildest dreams. Not only had they rendered a ship invisible to radar, they had made it optically invisible as well, not to mention causing the vessel to teleport hundreds of miles in a matter of minutes. For the crew, however, the trip had been a nightmare.

The test had managed to render the entire ship ‘out of phase’ with the surrounding universe, which is why it was able to travel from Philadelphia to Norfolk instantly. This phasing effect had drastic effects on the crew members. During the experiment, crew members found they could walk through solid objects, and when the field was shut off, men were found embedded in the bulkheads, decks and railings of the ship. The results were gruesome enough that some men went mad. Afterwards, several crew members simply vanished. A few disappeared into thin air; one, eating dinner with his family, rose, walked through a wall and was never seen again. Some men entered into what was called the ‘Freeze’. This is where a man faded from view; unable to move, speak or otherwise affect his surroundings. Initially, the Freeze effect lasted only a few minutes to a few hours. Interestingly enough, invisible crewmen were still visible to other sailors who had survived the original experiment. After a while, the Freeze effect lasted for days or months, and became known as the ‘Deep Freeze‘ (other terms include ‘Caught in the Flow’, ‘Caught in the Push’, ‘Get Stuck’, ‘Go Blank’, ‘Hell Incorporated’ or ‘Stuck in Molasses’). The Deep Freeze could drive a man insane in very short order, and was only able to be counteracted if other crewmen performed a ‘Laying on of Hands’ technique to give the victim strength and allow him to recover from his affliction. Unfortunately, two men burst into flames while Laying on of Hands, burning for 18 days despite all attempts to quench the fire.

Seeing the horrible after effects of the experiment, the Navy discontinued all further research into radar and optical invisibility. The surviving crewmen were discharged as mentally unfit for duty and many were placed in insane asylums. However, science was not quite done conducting research on electromagnetic fields or radar and its affects on the human mind. Project Rainbow may have been disbanded, but the Phoenix Project was just getting started.

 

Joke Of The Day: The Three Generals

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Feb 022017
 
Rubber Chicken The pentagon said they had too many generals running around, so they decided to get rid of some of them.

They offered $10,000 in severance pay for each inch of their body — to be measured however they chose.

The Air Force general went first. He said he wanted to be measured from his head to his toe. He was 69 inches. He received $690,000.

Next up was the Army general. He wanted to be measured from the tip of his finger to the tip of his other finger. It was 80 inches. He received $800,000.

The two generals were very happy with their earnings.

Finally the Marine general came up. He said he wanted to be measured from the tip of his penis to the tip of his balls.

The man said, ”Sir, do you know how much the other generals received?”

The general said no.

”Sir, they received $690,000 and $800,000 respectively, are you sure that is what you want measured?”

The general said, ”Just do it!”

The man dropped the general’s pants and measured his penis. When he went for the general’s balls, they weren’t there.

The man said, ”Sir, where are your balls.”

The general said, ”I left them back in Vietnam.”