The Tale Of The Bronze Rat

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Nov 262016
 

The Tale Of The Bronze RatA tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco’s Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display, he discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. Strangely, he feels drawn to it. The sculpture is so interesting, realistic and compelling that he picks it up and asks the shop owner its price.

“Twelve dollars for the rat, sir,” says the shop owner, “and a thousand dollars more for the story of its frightening secret.”

“You can keep the story, old man,”the tourist replies with a sneer, “but I’ll take the rat.”

The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him. Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him. By the time he’s walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of rats swarm from sewers, basements, vacant lots, and abandoned cars. Rats by the thousands are at his heels, and when he sees the waterfront in the distance at the bottom of the hill, he panics and starts to run full tilt.

No matter how fast he runs, the huge swarm of rats–now not just thousands, but millions–stay just behind, squealing hideously as he nears the water. By the time he sees the water’s edge, a trail of rats twelve city blocks long is behind him. Rushing toward the water, he makes a mighty leap, jumping up onto a light post… grasping it with one arm as with the other he hurls the bronze rat into San Francisco Bay as far as he can heave it. Pulling his legs up and clinging tightly to the light post, he watches in both horror and amazement as the seething tide of rats surges over the breakwater into the Bay, where they drown in huge numbers and disappear into its cold depths… not to be seen again.

Shaken and mumbling to himself about the terrible experience he has just witnessed, he makes his way back to the antique shop where he bought the bronze rat, the seed of a new idea forming in his mind.

“Ah, so you’ve come back for the rest of the story,” says the owner.

“No,” the tourist says in a hope-filled voice, “I was wondering if you might also have a bronze Democrat?”

 

The Rat Trap

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Nov 252014
 

The Rat TrapA Simple Lesson

A rat looked through a crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife opening a package. What food might it contain? He was aghast to discover that it was a rat trap. Retreating to the farmyard the rat proclaimed the warning; “There is a rat trap in the house, a rat trap in the house!”

The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, “Excuse me, Mr. Rat, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it.”

The rat turned to the pig and told him, “There is a rat trap in the house, a rat trap in the house!” “I am so very sorry Mr. Rat,” sympathized the pig, “but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured that you are in my prayers.”

The rat turned to the cow. She said, “Like wow, Mr. Rat. A rat trap. I am in grave danger. Duh?”

So the rat returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer’s rat trap alone. That very night a sound was heard throughout the house, like the sound of a rat trap catching its prey. The farmer’s wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see that it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught. The snake bit the farmer’s wife.

The farmer rushed her to the hospital. She returned home with a fever. Now everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup’s main ingredient. His wife’s sickness continued so that friends and neighbors came to sit with her around the clock. To feed them the farmer butchered the pig.

The farmer’s wife did not get well. She died, and so many people came for her funeral that the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide meat for all of them to eat.

So the next time you hear that someone is facing a problem and think that it does not concern you, remember that when there is a rat trap in the house, the whole farmyard is at risk.

 

How Rats Climb Up Toilets

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Nov 112014
 

Just imagine… you’re sitting on the toilet, perhaps with a copy of your favorite newspaper or magazine, maybe even doing a crossword puzzle… you reach for the toilet paper roll as nature takes its course, when suddenly, you feel a sharp bite right on the ass, you scream, jump up and stare down into the eyes of a massive, hairy brown RAT.

Enjoy!

How to Keep Rats From Coming Out of Your Toilet

Norway rats, commonly known as sewer rats, are brown rats that live in sewer systems. They are most active at night as they search for food. They need water to survive, but the sewers provide that, especially since they are good swimmers. These rats can emerge from your toilet and run around your house until they find any sort of food. Even garbage or scraps in your kitchen sink can attract sewer rats.

Instructions

1 Keep all the toilet lids in your home down whenever they are not in use.

2 Squirt some dishwashing liquid around the inside of the toilet bowl quickly, if you spot a rat in there. Close the lid and flush the toilet to get rid of the pest. The soap will make the porcelain slippery so the rat can’t climb out and enter your house.

3 Put away all foodstuffs from your kitchen area so they don’t attract sewer rats. Even fruit or loaves of bread on countertops can attract them. Don’t leave pet food out either.

4 Pour a cup of household bleach into your kitchen sink drain, then add a kettle full of boiling water. Do this once or twice a month to clean bits of food out of the drain.

Source…

Somewhere in San Francisco… this happened.

Renters of this apartment were trying to figure out how the rats were getting inside.

 

How Rats Come Out Of A Toilet

 

via here and here

Incredible Rat Tricks

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Jan 162014
 

Who knew rats could do tricks?

 

Next year, in January my high school gives us a month off to become a free intern in a field of my choice. I am desperately searching for a company that trains animals for film that would be willing to take me. If you are connected or know of any companies in the USA please contact me.

Clicker training: Clicker training is simply a method of training. “Think of it as a Reinforcement noise. The trainer makes it at the moment the trick is completed, it informs the animal that “You did the trick, well done.” The animal then learns to perform the trick in the way that it did just before it heard that sound, and the sound again reinforces that it’s repeated the trick successfully” -Gutsph

Here’s an article about me and my girls in The New York Post!
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national

I brought Nami and Pepper home about 8 months ago, they were both adults. When I got them, I had no idea that they could be taught tricks. Now I’ve done loads of training with them. Nami (the white one) is a much faster learner then Pepper which is why she know more advanced tricks. Pepper is a bit on the slow side, but I love her just as much!

Amazing Rat Tricks

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Dec 032013
 

Enjoy!

A short video showcasing a handful of incredible rat tricks performed by my five talented rats:

Suki (Brown Agouti Berkshire Dumbo Rat)
Famous (Pink-Eyed Himalayan Top-Eared Rat)
Raven (Black Variegated Berkshire Dumbo Rat)
Shadow (Black Mismarked Irish Top-Eared Rat)
Paris (Russian Blue Berkshire Dumbo Rat)

 

Joke Of The Day: From Mice To Lawyers

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Jan 122013
 

Rubber ChickenAt a convention of biological scientists, one prominent researcher remarked to another, “Did you know that in our lab we have switched from mice to lawyers for our experiments?”

“Really?” the other researcher replied. “Why did you switch?”

“Well, for three reasons. First, we found that lawyers are far more plentiful. Second, the lab assistants don’t get so attached to them. And third, there are some things even a rat won’t do.”
 

Joke Of The Day: Rats

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Nov 012012
 

Rubber ChickenA Tourist walked into a Chinese curio shop in San Francisco. While looking around at the exotic merchandise, he noticed a very lifelike, life-sized, bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but was so incredibly striking the tourist decided he must have it. He took it to the old shop owner and asked, “How much for the bronze rat?”

“Ahhh, you have chosen wisely! It is $12 for the rat and $100 for the story,” said the wise old Chinaman.

The tourist quickly pulled out twelve dollars. “I’ll just take the rat, you can keep the story”.

As he walked down the street carrying his bronze rat, the tourist noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of the alleys and sewers and had begun following him down the street. This was a bit disconcerting so he began walking faster.

A couple blocks later he looked behind him and saw to his horror the herd of rats behind him had grown to hundreds, and they began squealing.

Sweating now, the tourist began to trot toward San Francisco Bay.

Again, after a couple blocks, he looked around only to discover that the rats now numbered in the MILLIONS, and were squealing and coming toward him faster and faster.

Terrified, he ran to the edge of the Bay and threw the bronze rat as far as he could into the Bay.

Amazingly, the millions of rats all jumped into the Bay after the bronze rat and were all drowned.

The man walked back to the curio shop in Chinatown.

“Ahhh,” said the owner, “You come back for story?”

“No sir,” said the man, “I came back to see if you have a bronze Democrat.”

 

 

The Bronze Rat

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Jul 242009
 

A Tourist walked into a Chinese curio shop in San Francisco. While looking around at the exotic merchandise, he noticed a very lifelike, life-sized, bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but was so incredibly striking the tourist decided he must have it. He took it to the old shop owner and asked, “How much for the bronze rat?”

“Ahhh, you have chosen wisely! It is $12 for the rat, $100 for the story,” said the wise old Chinaman. The tourist quickly pulled out twelve dollars. “I’ll just take the rat, you can keep the story.”

As he walked down the street carrying his bronze rat, the tourist noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of the alleys and sewers and had begun following him down the street. This was a bit disconcerting so he began walking faster.

A couple blocks later he looked behind him and saw to his horror the herd of rats behind him had grown to hundreds, and they began squealing.

Sweating now, the tourist began to trot toward the Bay. Again, after a couple blocks, he looked around only to discover that the rats now numbered in the MILLIONS, and were squealing and coming toward him faster and faster.

Terrified, he ran to the edge of the Bay and threw the bronze rat as far as he could into the Bay.

Amazingly, the millions of rats all jumped into the Bay after the bronze rat, and were all drowned.

The man walked back to the curio shop in Chinatown.

“Ahhh,” said the owner, “You have come back for story?”

“No sir,” said the man, “I came back to see if you have a bronze Democrat.”