|For his wife’s birthday, a doctor ordered a cake with this inscription:
“You are not getting older, You are getting better.”
When asked how he wanted it arranged, he said, “Just put ‘You are not getting older’ at the top, and ‘You are just getting better’ at the bottom.”
It wasn’t until the good doctor was ready to serve the cake that he discovered it read:
“YOU ARE NOT GETTING OLDER AT THE TOP, YOU ARE JUST GETTING BETTER AT THE BOTTOM.”
|An old couple walk into MacDonald’s. They order one hamburger, one order of fries and drink.
The old man unwraps the plain hamburger and carefully cuts it in half. He places one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counts out the fries dividing them into two piles and neatly placing one pile in front of his wife.
He takes a sip of the drink, his wife takes a sip and sets the cup down between them.
As he begins to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them keep looking over and whispering.”That poor old couple – all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.”
As the man begins to eat his fries, a young man comes to the table. He politely offers to buy another meal for the couple.
The old man replies that they’re just fine – they’re just used to sharing everything.
The surrounding people noticed the little old lady hadn’t eaten a bite. She sits there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.
Again the young man comes over and begs them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman says,”No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything,”
As the old man finishes and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again comes over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asks,”May I ask what is it you are waiting for?”
The old woman answers….
The Social Security card has become the de facto national ID in the USA. What is the history of the Social Security system, how has the function of the Social Security number changed, and why is it so easy to steal your SSN? CGP Grey explains it in this video.
AsapSCIENCE has an overview of the science that pinpoints the specific things that may lead a person to reach 100 years of age.
INSTRUCTIONS: Count all the ones that you remember, NOT the Ones you were told about.
1: Blackjack Chewing gum
2: Waxed Coke-Shaped Bottles with Colored Sugar Water
3: Candy Cigarettes
4: Soda pop machines that dispensed Glass Bottles
5: Coffee Shops or Diners with Tableside Juke Boxes
6: Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
7: Party lines on the telephone
8: Newsreels before the movie
9: P.F. Flyers
10: Butch Wax
11: TV test patters that came on at night, after the last show and were there until TV Shows started again in the morning.
12: There was only three (3) TV channels, if you were fortunate
14: Howdy Doody
15: 45 RPM records or 33 1/3 records
16: S&H green stamps
18: Metal Ice trays with levers
19: Mimeograph paper
20: Blue Flashbulbs
21: Roller Skate keys
22: Cork Popguns
23: Drive- INS
25: Wash tub Wringers
27: Heavy metal grinder that hooked on to your pull out cutting board.
28: 78 records
29: Spin & Marty
30: Ritz Brothers
If you Remember 0-5 = You’re still Young
If you Remember 6-10 = You are getting Older
If you Remember 11-15 = Don’t Tell Your Age
If you Remember 16-25 = You’re Older Than Dirt
Now this is a way of raising money as a game each answer is so much money you have to pay. Only us Old folks would be paying a lot. ( Smile )
Games like this are easily made up, try making up your own!
|Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the County Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman. With her youthful sex appeal and charm, she hangs on to Bob’s arm and listens intently to his every word. His buddies at the club are all aghast.
At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, “Bob, how’d you get the trophy girlfriend?” Bob replies, “Girlfriend? She’s my wife!” They are surprised but continue to ask—“So, how’d you persuade her to marry you?”
“I lied about my age,” Bob replies.
“What…did you tell her you were only 50”, they asked.
Bob smiles and says, “No, I told her I was 95.”