Quote Of The Day: Fathers

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant, I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.” ~ Mark Twain

Happy Father’s Day to all Dads!



Great Political Truths

Great Political Truths

1. In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. ~ John Adams

2. If you don’t read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed. ~ Mark Twain

3. Suppose you were an idiot.
And suppose you were a member of Congress.
But then I repeat myself.
~ Mark Twain

4. I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. ~ Winston Churchill

5. A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. ~ George Bernard Shaw

6. A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. ~ G. Gordon Liddy

7. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. ~ P.J. O’Rourke, Civil Libertarian

8. Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases:
If it moves, tax it.
If it keeps moving, regulate it.
And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
~ Ronald Reagan(1986)

9. I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. ~ Will Rogers

10. If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free! ~ P. J. O’Rourke

11. No man’s life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session. ~ Mark Twain (1866)

12. Talk is cheap, except when Congress does it. ~ Anonymous

13. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery. ~ Winston Churchill

14. The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. ~ Mark Twain

15. There is no distinctly Native American criminal class, save Congress. ~ Mark Twain

16. What this country needs are more unemployed politicians. ~ Edward Langley, Artist (1928-1995)

17. A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
~ Thomas Jefferson

Philosophers Of The Century

Philosophers Of The Century

Philosophers Of The Century

Men are like linoleum floors. Lay ’em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years. ~ Betsy Salkind

The only reason they say ‘Women and children first’ is to test the strength of the lifeboats. ~ Jean Kerr

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife. ~ Prince Philip

Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself. ~ Harrison Ford

The best cure for Sea Sickness, is to sit under a tree. ~ Spike Milligan

Kill one man and you’re a murderer, kill a million and you’re a conqueror. ~ Jean Rostand

Having more money doesn’t make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I’m just as happy as when I had 48 million. ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger

We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea. ~ WH Auden

In hotel rooms, I worry. I can’t be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked. ~ Jonathan Katz

If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead. ~ Johnny Carson

I don’t believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we’re very skeptical. ~ Warren Tantum (School photo album)

Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap. ~ Steve Martin

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. ~ Jimmy Durante

The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone. ~ George Roberts

If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport. ~ Jonathan Winters

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it. ~ Robert Benchley

As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind – every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder. ~ John Glenn

America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked. ~ David Letterman

I’m not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. Dammit, I’m a billionaire. ~ Howard Hughes

After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box. ~ Old Italian proverb

 
 

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