Jul 152017
 

The School Bus Puzzle.

You can’t answer this brain teaser, but a preschooler can!

 

Which way is the bus below traveling?

To the left or to the right?

School Bus Puzzle

Can’t make up your mind?

Look carefully at the picture again.

Still don’t know?

Pre-schoolers all over the United States were shown this picture and asked the same question.

90% of pre-schooler’s gave this answer.

“The bus is traveling to the left”.

When asked, “Why do you think the bus is traveling to the left?”

They answered:

 

“Because you can’t see the door to get on the bus.”

 

Jul 042017
 
Joke Of The Day: Learning About Patriotism Independence Day was approaching and the teacher took the opportunity to teach her class all about patriotism.

She said to them, “You know, we live in a great country. And one of the best things about it is that we are all free.”

At this, a little boy marched up to her from the back of the class, put his hands on his hips and said angrily, “I’m not free. I’m four.”

 

 

 

Joke Of The Day: My Son’s First Beer

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May 282017
 
Joke Of The Day: My Son's First Beer While reading an article last night about fathers and sons, memories came flooding back of the time I took my son out for his first beer. Off we went to our local pub only five blocks from our house and I got him a Guinness. He didn’t like it, so I drank it. Then I got him a Kilkenny’s, he didn’t like that either, so I drank it. I got him a Budweiser. He didn’t like it, so I drank it Finally, I thought he might like some Harp Lager? He didn’t. So I drank it.

So, I thought maybe he’d like whiskey better than beer, so we tried a Jameson’s, nope! Still, in desperation, I had him try Jack Daniels. He wouldn’t even smell it. What could I do but drink it!

Well, my friend, by the time I realized he just didn’t like to drink, I was so drunk I could hardly push his stroller.

 

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Astronomy Quiz

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May 252017
 
Joke Of The Day: Astronomy Quiz A junior-high student was studying astronomy and enjoying it greatly.

One morning at breakfast she mentioned, “On Friday we’re having a quiz on the moon.”

Her little brother piped up: “Are you gonna let her go, Mom??”

 

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Getting Sick In Church

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May 162017
 
Joke Of The Day: Getting Sick In Church A little girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill.

“Mommy,” she said, “can we leave now?”

“No” her mother replied.

“Well, I think I’m gonna be sick, Momma!”

“Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and then behind a bush.”

After about 60 seconds the little girl returned to her seat. “Were you sick?” her mom asked.

“Yes.”

“How could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and returned so quickly?”

“I didn’t have to go out of the church, Mommy. They have a box next to the front door that says, ‘For the Sick’.”

 

 

 

Murphy’s Law Of Children

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Apr 232017
 

Murphy’s Law of Children

1. The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning.

2. For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty.

3. Toys multiply to fill any space available.

4. The longer it takes you to make a meal, the less your child will like it.

5. Yours is always the only child who doesn’t behave.

6. If the shoe fits..it’s expensive.

7. The surest way to get something done is to tell a child not to do it.

8. The gooier the food, the more likely it is to end up on the carpet.

9. Backing the car out of the driveway causes your child to have to go to the bathroom.

10. The more challenging the child, the more rewarding it is to be a parent..sometimes.

 

Joke Of The Day: Ordering In

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Apr 102017
 
Joke Of The Day: Ordering In My wife and I both work, so our family eats out a lot.

Recently, when we were having a rare home-cooked meal, I handed a glass to my three-year-old and told her to drink her milk.

She looked at me bewildered and replied, “But I didn’t order milk.”

 

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Family Planning Lesson

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Mar 172017
 
Rubber Chicken Six-year-old Annie returns home from school and says that today she had her first embarrassing moment at school. Her mother, very interested, asks, “Oh, how did it go?”

“I nearly died of shame!” she answers. “Sam from down the street says the stork brings babies. Sally next door said you can buy babies at the orphanage. Pete in my class says you can buy babies at the hospital.”

Her mother answers laughingly, “But that’s no reason to be ashamed.”

“No, but I can’t tell them that we were so poor that you and daddy had to make me yourselves!”

 

 

 

Kid FARTS On Weatherman!

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Mar 122017
 

A kid interrupts a Weatherman’s live forecast to fart on him and warn everyone of a crazy toot storm.

A weatherkid sounds like a cute idea, but an 8-year-old boy named Houston showed Mississippi why it’s probably not the best idea.

Meteorologist Patrick Ellis was doing a run-of-the-mill live weather cast for WLBT on Saturday evening when Houston ran on camera. He is the son of Rocky Wilkins, a lawyer with a recurring segment on WLBT,

“I don’t know what’s going on, but Zayn doesn’t know,” he told Ellis animatedly. “Are you sure, are you crazy sure?”

Houston then proceeded to do a bird impression and directed his rear end to the clearly-flummoxed Ellis, who later implied on a now-deleted social media post that the boy had farted on him.

“All I’m going to say is watch out for the ‘toots’ across central Mississippi,” Ellis said, according to Thrillist.

When Ellis tried to improvise with the boy onscreen, asking if he wanted to “point out the weather,” the boy continued on with the fart jokes.

“Yah, there are farts everywhere and toots ah-naa-naah it’s crazy,” Houston said right before his dad picked him up and took him off screen.

Wilkins said Houston is a regular at the TV studio and has practiced weather forecasting many times in front of the green screen, but never before while the cameras were live.

“During my preshow meeting, Houston went into the studio. I was few feet away from him while he was on air and I thought Houston was doing a good job,” Wilkins said. “Also, meteorologist Patrick Ellis was handling the situation like a real pro. But, when it was time, I had no problem getting Houston off the set and back to where he needed to be.”

Wilkins added his son was “enjoying his celebrity status” and liked being on TV.

“My son told me he’s looking for an agent and I’m now worried he will start charging me an appearance fee just to show up at the dinner table,” Wilkins said.

Hatton Weeks, the news director at WLBT, said he was unable to comment or provide more details on the incident for “a host of reasons,” but did confirm it happened on their Saturday newscast. WLBT is the local affiliate for NBC, according to its Facebook page.

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