Joke Of The Day: Italian Secret To A Long Marriage

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Nov 042017
 
Joke Of The Day: Italian Secret To A Long Marriage At St. Peter’s Catholic Church in Toronto, they have weekly husbands’ marriage seminars.

At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.

Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, ‘Wella, I’va tried to treat her nicea, spenda da money on her, but besta of all is, I tooka her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!’

The priest responded, ‘Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary?’

Giuseppe proudly replied, “I gonna go pick her up.”

 

 

 

Italian Immigrants

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Jan 262017
 

Italian Immigrants

Italian emigration was fueled by dire poverty. Life in Southern Italy, including the islands of Sicily and Sardinia, offered landless peasants little more than hardship, exploitation, and violence. Even the soil was poor, yielding little, while malnutrition and disease were widespread.

Background

By 1870, there were about 25,000 Italian immigrants in America, many of them Northern Italian refugees from the wars that accompanied the Risorgimento—the struggle for Italian unification and independence from foreign rule. Between around 1880 and 1924, more than four million Italians immigrated to the United States, half of them between 1900 and 1910 alone—the majority fleeing grinding rural poverty in Southern Italy and Sicily. Today, Americans of Italian ancestry are the nation’s fifth-largest ethnic group.

 
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If We Had An Italian President From New Jersey

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Dec 192016
 

Mike Marino’s hilarious segment about an Italian president from New Jersey and his take on the capturing of Bin Laden.

 

Italian Hand Gestures

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May 022016
 

An Italian your guide teaches you everything you need to know about Italian hand gestures.

Enjoy!

An important part of learning a foreign language is also mastering body language.

Sergio, an Italian tour guide, explains to some American tourists all the different hand gestures Italians use in every day conversation.

Unsurprisingly, there’s a lot of them.

Buono!

Source…

 

Obama: “I Consider Myself An Honorary Italian Because I Love All Things Italian”

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Apr 192015
 

Mulunyan. :lol:

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA: As I said before, I’m not lucky enough to have any Italian ancestry that I know of, but — but I consider myself an honorary Italian, because I love all things Italian, and the United States would not be what we are, or who we are, without the contributions of generations of Italian-Americans.

Source…

Obama - I Consider Myself An Honorary Italian

Joke Of The Day: The Italian Nursing Home

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Sep 292013
 

Rubber ChickenAn Arab family was considering putting their grandfather (Abdullah) in a nursing home. All the Arab Facilities were completely full, so they had to put him in an Italian home.

After a few weeks in the Italian facility, they came to visit Grandpa.

How do you like it here?” asked the grandson.

“It’s wonderful! Said Abdullah.

Everyone here is so courteous and respectful,” said grandpa.

“We’re so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place for you, since you are a little different from everyone.”

Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents,” Abdullah said with a big smile.

“There’s a musician here – he’s 85 years old. He hasn’t played the violin in 20 years, and everyone still calls him Maestro!

There is a judge in here – he’s 95 years old. He hasn’t been on the bench in 30 years and everyone still calls him Your Honor.

There’s a dentist here – 90 years old. He hasn’t fixed a tooth for 25 years, and everyone still calls him Doctor!

And Me – I haven’t had sex for 35 years, and they still call me The f**king Arab.

 

 

Joke Of The Day

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Jun 252012
 

An old farmer is outside for a walk around his land when he sees a sign on his neighbor’s lawn: “Horse for Sale.” Curious, he decides to have a look-see. As he approaches his neighbor’s stable, he sees his old Italian friend brushing down a fine-looking stallion.

“Hello, friend. I saw your sign out there and came over to see your horse for sale.”

Now, the Italian farmer speaks very poor English, but he manages to answer well enough. “Yep, yep, disa is da horse for-a sale.”

“This horse here?” quizzes the old farmer. “Why, he’s a fine horse! Why-ever would you sell him?”

“Well,” sighs the Italian farmer, “he no looka so good anymore.”

The old farmer, convinced that his neighbor has lost his mind, makes the sale and leads the horse across his field over to the stable. As he taps the horse gently on the back to coax him into the stable, he watches as the horse misses the door completely and smacks head first into the wall. “That ol’ cheat sold me a near blind horse!” growls the old farmer.

He then proceeds to storm over across the field, reigns in hand, to give his neighbor a piece of his mind. “You sold me a near blind horse, you ol’ cheat, and you didn’t even tell me!” he screams.

“Eh! I tolla you!” cries the Italian farmer. “I say, ‘He no looka so good anymore!'”

The Pasta Diet and Your Health

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Mar 262012
 

ITALIAN PASTA DIET – IT WORKS!

  1. You walk pasta da bakery.
  2. You walka pasta da candy store.
  3. You walka pasta da Ice Cream shop.
  4. You walka pasta da table and fridge.
  5. You will lose weight!

AND…. here’s the final word on nutrition and health.

  1. The Japanese eat very little fat, and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.
  2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat, and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.
  3. The Chinese drink very little red wine, and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.
  4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine, and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.
  5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats, and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like.

Speaking English is apparently what kills you!