Joke Of The Day: Claude The Hypnotist

Rubber Chicken It was entertainment night at the senior citizens’ center: After the community sing along led by Alice at the piano, it was time for the star of the show – Claude the Hypnotist.

Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance. “Yes, each and every one of you, and all at the same time.” he said. The excited chatter dropped to silence, as Claude carefully withdrew from his waistcoat pocket a beautiful antique gold pocket watch and chain. “I want you to keep your eyes on this watch” he said, holding the watch high for all to see.

“It is a very special and valuable watch that has been in my family for six generations”, said Claude. He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, “Watch the watch — Watch the watch —-Watch the watch.”

The audience became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth. The lights twinkling as they were reflected from its gleaming surfaces. A hundred and fifty pairs of eyes followed the movements of the gently swaying watch.

And then, suddenly, the chain broke! The beautiful watch fell to the stage and burst apart on impact. “CRAP!” yelled Claude.

It took them a week to clean up the senior center and Claude was never invited back.

 

 

Joke Of The Day

The world’s greatest hypnotist is on stage in front of hundreds of people swinging a long chain with a watch on the end.

He’s saying, “You’re all in my power…you’re all in my power..”

Fifteen hundred people are going, “Oooo…”

He starts to say it again, “You’re all in my…”, when he accidentally drops the watch.

He says, “Shit.”

It took them two weeks to dig everybody out.

Hypnotizing a Chicken

Did you know a chicken can be hypnotized? By holding its head down against the ground, and continuously drawing a line along the ground with a stick or a finger the chicken will remain immobile. No wonder Chicken Boo had such a distant look to him.

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