The Joy of Painting’s Bob Ross paints hair on President Donald Trump’s head.
Once upon a time there were three little pigs. The straw pig, the stick pig and the brick pig.
One day this nasty old wolf came up to the straw pig’s house and said, “I’m gonna huff and puff and blow your house down.” And he did !!!
So the straw pig went running over to the stick pig’s house and said, “Please let me in, the wolf just blew down my house.” So the stick Pig let the straw pig in.
Just then the wolf showed up and said, “I’m gonna huff and puff and blow your house
down.” And he did !!!
So the straw pig and the stick pig went running over to the brick pig’s house and said, “Let us in, let us in, the big bad wolf just blew our houses down!”
So the brick pig let them in just as the wolf showed up. The wolf said, “I’m gonna huff and puff and blow your house down.” The straw pig and the stick pig were so scared!
But the brick pig picked up the phone and made a call.
A few minutes passed and a big, black Caddy pulls up.
Out stepped two massive pigs in pin striped suits and fedora hats. These pigs came over to the wolf, grabbed him by the neck and beat the living crap out of him, then one of them pulled out a gun, stuck it in his mouth and fired, killing the wolf, then they got back into their Caddy and drove off.
The straw pig and stick pig were amazed!!! “Who were those guys?” they asked.
The brick pig replied: “Those were my cousins… The Guinea Pigs”
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned…couldn’t concentrate.
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it…mainly because it was a so-so job.
Then I tried to be a chef -figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn’t have the thyme.
Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too exhausting.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn’t cut the mustard.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the ax.
Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn’t fit in.
So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.
I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn’t have any patience.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn’t noteworthy.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income.
My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
SO I RETIRED AND FOUND I’M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!
“Say hello to my little friend!”