Joke Of The Day: An Accident At The Guinness Brewery

Joke Of The Day: An Accident At The Guinness Brewery Brenda O’Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. “Brenda, may I come in?” he asks. “I’ve somethin’ to tell ya.”

“Of course you can come in, you’re always welcome, Tim. But where’s my husband?”

“That’s what I’m here to be tellin’ ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery…”

“Oh, God no!” cries Brenda. “Please don’t tell me….”

“I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I’m sorry.” Finally, she looked up at Tim.

“How did it happen, Tim?”

“It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned.”

“Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?”

“Well, no Brenda… no. Fact is, he got out three times to pee.”

 

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Three Irishmen Adrift At Sea

Rubber Chicken Three Irishmen are adrift at sea. They are terribly thirsty.

Suddenly a mermaid comes up and says “I’ll shall grant you one wish.”

Without thinking one of the Irishman says “I want you to turn the sea to Guinness.”

The mermaid said. “Let it be done” And so the sea was turned to Guinness.

Then one of the other Irishman said “Sh*t, where we gonna piss?”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Where To Go For A Drink

Rubber ChickenA Russian, an Italian and an Irishman got out of work and were deciding where to go for a drink.

The Irishman said “Let’s all go to O’Learys. With every third round, the bartender will give each of us a free Guinness.”

The Italian said “That sounds good, but if we go to Baldini’s with every third round they bring a free bottle of wine to the table.”

The Russian said “That sounds fine but if we go to Gouvstof’s we drink for free all night and then go out into the parking lot and get laid.”

“That sounds to good to be true!” the Irishman exclaimed. “Have you actually been there?”

“No,” the Russian replied, “but my wife goes there all the time.”

 

 

Guinness Science

The physics of a Guinness explained.

ARVE Error: need id and provider

Strange bubbles and foam are part of the allure of Guinness – at least when you discuss it with an Irish physicist.

Sixty Symbols is in Dublin discussing the nation’s much-loved beverage.

 

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