How To Tell If You’re A Floridian

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Oct 172017
 

You know you’re a Floridian if….

Socks are only for bowling.

You never use an umbrella because the rain will be over in five minutes.

A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.

Your winter coat is made of denim.

You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.

You’re younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65.

Anything under 70 degrees is chilly.

You’ve driven through Yeehaw Junction.

You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.

Every other house in your neighborhood had blue roofs in 2004-2005.

You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn’t worth waking up for.

You dread love bug season.

You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren’t Hurricane Charley or Hurricane Frances. You know them as Andrew, Charley , Frances , Ivan, Jeanne, Wilma…Irene…Cheryl…Rita, Mary..Alison

You know what a snowbird is and when they’ll leave.

You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.

‘Down South’ means Key West.

Flip-flops are everyday wear. Shoes are for business meetings and church, but you HAVE worn flip flops to church before.

You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.

You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.

A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.

You know the four seasons really are: Hurricane season, love bug season, tourist season and summer.

You’ve hosted a hurricane party.

You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee , Withlacoochee , Thonotosassa and Micanopy.

You understand why it’s better to have a friend with a boat, than have a boat yourself.

You were 25 when you first met someone who couldn’t swim.

You’ve worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas and New Years.

You recognize Miami-Dade as ‘ Northern Cuba .’

 
 

Aug 122017
 

A federal prosecutor in Debbie Wasserman Schultz’s Florida district committed suicide by shooting himself in the head according to the official verdict by police – however they also confirm that no gun was found, raising the question of how he could have shot himself in the head.

No Gun Found, But Florida Police Claim DNC Investigator Shot Himself

From YourNewsWire:

Beranton Whisenant, 38, was found dead by a on a beach in Hollywood, Florida near Magnolia Terrace shortly before 6:30 a.m. on May 24. The police have been investigating to determine if Whisenant’s death was a “homicide, suicide, or something else.”

After months of investigation, detectives and a medical examiner have now announced that Whisenant committed suicide by shooting himself in the head, Hollywood police said.

But despite searching for two blocks north and south of the crime scene they couldn’t find the gun or any other weapon that would explain how Whisenant apparently killed himself.

Are we expected to believe the prosecutor, who was named as a potential witness in the DNC fraud lawsuit being conducted in Florida, managed to commit suicide by shooting himself in the head – and then managed to dispose of the weapon?

Read more…

Previously:

3 Dead Attorneys In 2 Weeks In Debbie Wasserman Shultz’s Florida District

Other posts from YourNewsWire:

United Nations Publish ‘Depopulation Plan’ On Their Website
CIA: Humans With ‘Superhuman Powers’ Are Real
Europe’s Largest Supervolcano ‘About To Erupt’

 
 
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Three Elderly Ladies From Florida

 Funny, Riddles  Comments Off on Three Elderly Ladies From Florida
Jun 202017
 
This is a detective story So Pay Close Attention!!!

Three elderly ladies are excited about seeing their first baseball game.

Three Elderly Ladies From FloridaThey smuggle a bottle of Jack Daniel’s into the ball park.

The game is very exciting and they are enjoying themselves immensely… mixing the Jack Daniel’s with soft drinks.

Soon they realize that the bottle is almost gone and the game has a lot of innings to go.

Based on the given information, what inning is it and how many players are on base?

Think!
Think some more!!
You’re gonna love it.

Answer:

It’s the bottom of the fifth the bags are loaded!Three Elderly Ladies From Florida

 
 
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Jun 172017
 

Huge new development: Lawyers in lawsuit against DNC file for protection and cite the death of Seth Rich, Shawn Lucas, and Federal Prosecutor Beranton Whisenant as the reason!

Lawyers In Lawsuit Against DNC File For Protection

This is no longer a conspiracy theory. These are serious lawyers that are fearful of their lives. The DNC is not going to get away with murdering people any more.

Documents on the DNC Class Action Lawsuit from the JamPAC website:

Previously:
3 Dead Attorneys In 2 Weeks In Debbie Wasserman Shultz’s Florida District

 
 

Jun 132017
 
3 Dead Attorneys In 2 Weeks In Debbie Wasserman Shultz's Florida District

How is this woman still holding public offices? Or giving speeches? Or going on TV? She was literally caught red handed rigging a primary for her preferred candidate. Wouldn’t a normal person be hiding in shame?

At around 4:00 he talks about the 3rd dead lawyer, which is the federal prosecutor who was working on the DNC fraud case. He also said that prosecutor was working on passports and “all kinds of weird things like that..that seem semi-linked to the DNC fraud”. I wonder if the “weird things” could be “green cards” (as in ‘look at the cards’) and could tie in with this?

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/08/11/us/politics/hillary-clinton-emails-clinton-foundation-gilbert-chagoury.html

Interesting tidbit from this article about another Clinton contact:

“A cache of emails that the State Department released to the activist group Citizens United, for example, showed an invitation to Mr. Clinton to speak at a United States-China energy summit meeting in 2012 organized by Luca International Group, which was later fined $68 million by the Securities and Exchange Commission for defrauding investors.”

So who runs Luca International Group? Ms. Bing Qing Yang

“Ms. Yang is an entrepreneur with tremendous experience in the oil and gas exploration and production industry in USA. In 2005, Ms Yang founded Luca International Group LLC, focus on the oil and gas development in the Gulf Mexico Region. Ms. Yang is specializing project management, property acquisitions, and strategic planning in the upstream of oil industry. In addition, she has successfully started an EB5 regional center with the potential of families allowing them to acquire their green cards.” ( could this be the “card” connection?)

What charges are against her?

“As alleged in our complaint, Yang falsely claimed that Luca International was a profitable oil and gas drilling operation when it was really a Ponzi-like scheme preying on Chinese-Americans and EB-5 investors who lost millions of dollars while Yang lined her pockets,” said Jina L. Choi, Director of the SEC’s San Francisco Regional Office. https://www.sec.gov/news/pressrelease/2015-141.html

What are EB 5 investors?

The Immigrant Investor Program, also known as “EB-5,” was created by Congress in 1990 to stimulate the U.S. economy through job creation and capital investment by immigrant investors by creating a new commercial enterprise or investing in a troubled business. There are 10,000 EB-5 immigrant visas available annually.

https://www.uscis.gov/archive/blog/2010/11/what-is-eb-5-program_30

 
 

Horse Attacks Gator In Florida State Park

 Amusing  Comments Off on Horse Attacks Gator In Florida State Park
Apr 172017
 

A woman captured a wild horse attacking a gator at Paynes Prairie State Park in Florida, just south of Gainesville.

Krystal M. Berry said on Facebook she was “still shaking” after witnessing the skirmish between the two animals.

Horse attacking a gator at Paynes Prairie. I’m still shaking.

Also: I did contact the reserve to check on the horse and gator. There were no clear signs of distress / bleeding when we left the site.

 

Florida Man Arrested For Throwing His Glass Eye

 Amusing, Funny  Comments Off on Florida Man Arrested For Throwing His Glass Eye
Nov 032016
 

The eyes have it!

florida-man-arrested-for-throwing-his-glass-eyeA Florida man in police custody removed his glass eye and threw it at hospital personnel, according to cops who rearrested the suspect on a felony charge.

Edward Dorsey, 54, was first arrested Sunday morning on a domestic violence charge for allegedly striking his wife during an 8 AM argument in the couple’s Largo home. A police report notes that drugs and alcohol appear to have played a role in the confrontation.

Following the misdemeanor collar, Dorsey was transported to the Largo Medical Center for treatment.

While in the emergency room, Dorsey “removed his glass eye” and then “threw his glass eye at the ER doctor and ER nurse,” a Largo Police Department officer reported.

Before flinging the fake eye, Dorsey was instructed by hospital personnel and a cop “to not take the eye out in the first place.” Dorsey ignored those commands, an arrest affidavit charges, and declared, “I can do whatever I feel like doing.”

The airborne eye does not appear to have caused any injuries, though it is unclear whether the eye hit any hospital workers.

Seen above, the unemployed Dorsey was charged with battery on an emergency medical care provider. He is locked up in the county jail on a combined bond of $30,000.

Jail records indicate that Dorsey has the words “Dorsey Touch” tattooed on his forearm and is “Missing left eye.”

Source…

 

The Religion Of Peace Kills At Least 20 In Florida

 Other  Comments Off on The Religion Of Peace Kills At Least 20 In Florida
Jun 122016
 

Religion Of Peace Kills At Least 20 In Florida
Let’s see how long it takes Hussein Obama to blame this on guns.

A suspected Islamic extremist wielding an assault rifle and a handgun has killed about 20 people after taking party-goers hostage inside a gay nightclub in Orlando.

The gunman was carrying a suspicious device, possibly a suicide vest, when he opened fire inside Pulse in the early hours of this morning.

Orlando Police Chief John Mina said authorities have not determined the exact number of people killed, but that ‘approximately 20’ have died. Another 42 people were taken to hospital.

An FBI spokesman said the mass shooting is being investigated as an act of terrorism. He explained authorities are looking into whether this was an act of domestic or international terror, and if the shooter was a lone wolf.

Police said the gunman was believed to be in his 20s was not a local man, and the FBI believe he may have ‘leanings to radical Islamic terrorism’.

The killings took place less than four miles from where The Voice singer and YouTube star Christina Grimmie, 22, was shot dead at The Plaza Live in Orlando on Friday.

Party-goers were urged to ‘get out and keep running’ as bullets started flying at around 2am local time.

Eyewitnesses described the gunman having a bomb strapped to himself when he started shooting today.

At around 6.00 local time (11am GMT) police said on Twitter: ‘Pulse Shooting: The shooter inside the club is dead.’ Officers described it as a ‘mass shooting’.

One man who said he was inside the club posted that the shooting broke out around 2 a.m. and that he heard about 40 shots being fired.

Police earlier carried out an controlled explosion at 5.15 local time (10.15am GMT today). but it is not yet clear whether that was linked with the gunman’s death.

It was thought that at least one hostage had been locked in a bathroom with gunshot wounds.

Around 100 officers were involved in the hostage situation before the gunman was killed.

During the gunfire, an officer was shot, but he was saved by his helmet.

Local TV reporter Stewart Moore said that more than 20 people had been shot with an assault rifle.

Jon Alamo said he was at the back of one of the club’s rooms when a man holding a weapon came into the front of the room.

Read more…

UPDATE:
ISIS Announced Florida Threat THREE Days Ago: “We Will Attack Florida”

A few questions for my Liberal friends:

Did Obama promote this attack with all his Transgender restroom crap?

More votes for Trump?

Can you say Landslide?

 

Woman Beat Husband Over Flatulence

 Amusing, Funny  Comments Off on Woman Beat Husband Over Flatulence
Dec 232015
 

Woman Beat Husband Over Flatulence 1

Hell hath no fury like a woman sphincter whistled!

Cops: Woman Beat Husband Over Flatulence
Victim was kicked, elbowed for passing gas while in bed

Angered by her husband’s repeated farting in bed, a Florida woman allegedly elbowed, kicked, and scratched her spouse, according to police who arrested her for battery.

Dawn Meikle, 55, is facing a misdemeanor charge following a 3:20 AM confrontation in the Port St. Lucie home she shares with her husband Donald.

As detailed in a December 11 arrest affidavit, Donald told cops that “while he was lying in bed he passed gas,” which prompted Dawn to begin “elbowing him on his arm.”

When Donald’s flatulence continued, “Dawn began kicking him and eventually kicked him out of their bed,” police noted. Donald said that he eventually returned to bed, where he “passed gas again.” Not surprisingly, “Dawn began elbowing and kicking him again.”

Donald said that he subsequently sought to restrain his wife, who repeatedly scratched him across his chest. Cops reported that Donald had four or five six-inch scratches on his chest, and that his t-shirt was ripped in three places.

During police questioning, Dawn said that she had “asked Donald several times to stop passing gas in their bed.” But when his flatulence persisted, Dawn admitted, she “began elbowing and kicking him.” Dawn suffered a bloody lip in the fracas, but she told police that Donald “was restraining me and somehow my lip got split open.”

Dawn also told cops that while she was in the bathroom calling 911, she “sprayed pepper spray in the air to keep Donald out of the restroom.”

Pictured above, Dawn was booked into the county jail on the battery charge. Free on bond, she is scheduled for a December 28 arraignment on the misdemeanor count. (2 pages)

Woman Beat Husband Over Flatulence

 

Joke Of The Day: Old Timers Bar

 Jokes  Comments Off on Joke Of The Day: Old Timers Bar
Aug 202014
 
Rubber Chicken Four old retired men are walking down a street in Yuma, Arizona. They turn a corner and see a sign that says, “Old Timers Bar – ALL drinks 10 cents.”

They look at each other and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true.

There’s a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a martini.

In no time the bartender serves up four iced martinis shaken, not stirred and says, “That’s 10 cents each, please.”

The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment, then at each other. They can’t believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round.

Again, four excellent martinis are produced, with the bartender again saying,”That’s 40 cents, please.”

They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity gets the better of them. They’ve each had two martinis and haven’t even spent a dollar yet.

Finally one of them says, “How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?”

“I’m a retired tailor from Phoenix ,” the bartender says, “and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the Lottery Jackpot for $125 million and decided to open this place. Every drink costs a dime. Wine, liquor, beer it’s all the same.”

“Wow! That’s some story!” one of the men says.

As the four of them sip at their martinis, they can’t help noticing seven other people at the end of the bar who don’t have any drinks in front of them and haven’t ordered anything the whole time they’ve been there.

Nodding at the seven at the end of the bar, one of the men asks the Bartender, “What’s with them?”

The bartender says, “They’re retired people from Florida.They’re waiting for Happy Hour when drinks are half-price, plus they all have coupons.”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Florida’s Problem

 Jokes  Comments Off on Joke Of The Day: Florida’s Problem
Aug 042014
 
Rubber Chicken The State of Florida had a problem. The drug bust over the years had filled their storage areas with Marijuana. It was decided the only option was to burn all of the Marijuana on hand. The eventful day a huge mound of Marijuana was torched. The fire raged and the smoke of the weed raised in a large cloud.

At this time a flock of Tern’s flew through this cloud.

A group of forest rangers (aka Their environmental watch dogs) were sent out to assure the well-being of the Terns. They followed this flock until they finally landed. The rangers sneaking upon the terns were able to observe and issue a report that read: Not a Tern was left unstoned.

 

 

Home Of The Free

 Amusing, Political  Comments Off on Home Of The Free
Jun 102014
 
Home Of The Free
Home Of The Free

A Florida Man Paints American Flag On Home To Protest Fines

Code enforcement officers visited Brent Greer’s home earlier this year after someone complained he had an old Christmas tree outside. Greer, who is dad to seven adopted children, was hit with a list of code violations, including missing window screens and peeling paint. So he decided to pick up the paintbrush and decorate his home with an American Flag.

“[I] decided to paint the American flag in order to show this is still America” Greer explained.
He added that he did to show he won’t just lie down in the face of what he feels is unfair treatment by his local government.

“They’re threatening me and my family,” he said.

It started with a dead Christmas tree outside of his house. Someone reported it to code enforcement, prompting officers to investigate his property.

They ended up reporting other violations, like issues with the paint, missing window screens and loose railings. Trash was also reportedly on the property.

“’There was a debris pile,’ he said….show it to me,” Greer said.

Facing a $250-a-day fine, Greer became fed up and started painting the flag, which is not a violation.

“Code compliance is all we’re looking for,” said Code Compliance Manager Volker Reiss.

A code enforcement hearing has been scheduled for later this month but officials hope it doesn’t come to that.

“We have 3000 cases a year and less than a 100 go to a hearing,” Reiss said.

Still, Greer says he won’t back down.

“I’m not going to pay them,” he said.

Source…

via

 

Florida Fisherman Catches 18 Foot Goblin Shark

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May 062014
 

You might need to do a double-take when you see what a Florida fisherman caught.

Florida fisherman catches 18 foot goblin shark 2

Photo by Carl Moore

Last week, commercial fisherman Carl Moore was fishing for royal red shrimp off the coast of Key West Florida. When he pulled up a net from more than 2,000 feet, Moore had caught something other than just shrimp. In his net was an unusual looking enormous fish—a goblin shark more than 18 feet long. As Moore reported to the NOAA scientist he reported his catch to, “it was uglier than a mother-in-law.”

Read more…

Florida fisherman catches 18 foot goblin shark

Photo by Carl Moore

The goblin shark, discovered in the late 19th century, was named for its “creepy” appearance. Its long, flat snout works like a metal detector.

via
 

Baby Turtles Being Born

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Apr 282014
 
Baby Turtles Being Born

 
This is an amazing video. The human presence on the beach allowed all of these babies to reach the ocean without the birds picking them off.

Leatherback turtles hatching and marching towards the ocean in Vero Beach, Florida.

Baby Turtles Being Born

 

While Crimea Burns

 Funny, Political  Comments Off on While Crimea Burns
Mar 092014
 

While Crimea Burns - Obama Golf

While Crimea burns Obama is fiddling with his little balls!

Question: What does Barack Obama do while ineffectually dealing with the Russia and Ukraine fight over the Crimea, watching that region burn, and also ordering the cutting of funds for missile defense for Israel while enabling Iran to continue heading for nuclear bomb-making capability, thus heating the Middle East to the boiling point?

Answer: He goes golfing. On Saturday, Obama joined former NFL star receiver Ahnmad Rashad ,former NBA star center Alonzo Mourning, and Cyrus Walker, Valerie Jarrett’s cousin, to go golfing in Key Largo, Florida. Obama brought the wife and kids for a weekend getaway. White House spokesman Josh Earnest explained that Obama was relishing warm-weather downtime.

Source…