Dec 032017
 

How much do you know about farts besides the fact that they sound and smell funny, and come out from the bum?

12 Facts About Farting You Probably Didn’t Know

People usually laugh about burping, hiccups and farting. Sometimes, even they are embarrassed and annoyed about these body functions.

Yes they sound interesting and smell weird, come out from the bum but how much do you actually know about these farts? Here are 12 facts about farting that you probably never heard about.

1. THE AVERAGE HUMAN BEING FARTS 14 TIMES A DAY.

How many times they do it in front of others will determine exactly how “human”—actually, “inhumane”—they are.

2. YOU FART ENOUGH EVERY DAY TO FILL A BALLOON.

The average human toots about 700ml of flatus daily—enough to blow up a birthday balloon!

3. THE SPEED OF FARTS.

Farts exit the anus and enter the world at a speed of 10 feet per second, or slightly less than seven miles per hour.

4. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SMELL?

Truth be told, only 1% or less of the gas in your average, everyday, run-of-the-mill fart has any odor whatsoever. The main culprit is hydrogen sulfide, which generates those rancid “rotten egg” notes that make farts the bane of the world’s nostrils.

5. WOMEN’S FARTS SMELL WORSE THAN MEN’S.

Sure, there’s a certain breed of male idiot who thinks it’s funny to fart in front of others, and to be fair, women don’t tend to be afflicted with that special strain of sadism. But before they start getting all high and mighty, they should realize that female farts have a higher hydrogen sulfide concentration than male ones and thus, fart-for-fart, they’re smellier than dude farts.

6. A FART BY ANY OTHER NAME WOULD SMELL AS STINKY.

The word “fart” is considered a “vulgarism” and—just like farting itself—is not recommended for use in polite company. The polite noun is “flatus,” even though almost no one uses it. The word “fart” is said to have been coined in 1632 and defined as “to send forth wind from the anus.” “Fart” is derived from the Old English word “feortan,” which means “to break wind.”

7. FARTING AMONG THE ANCIENTS.

Roman Emperor Claudius declared that “all Roman citizens should be allowed to pass gas whenever necessary,” which is an ancient variant of the modern maxim, “Wherever you be, let the wind blow free.” The ancient Japanese were said to have held “farting contests” to see who could break wind the loudest and longest. The Greek physician Hippocrates decreed that “Passing gas is necessary to well-being.”

8. THE OLDEST ONE-LINER IN RECORDED HISTORY IS A FART JOKE.

Professor Paul McDonald of the University of Wolverhampton tags a Sumerian joke from 1900 BC as the world’s oldest recorded one-liner. The joke:

Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.

9. FARTS ARE SPRINKLED THROUGHOUT LITERARY HISTORY.

Despite our modern revulsion for human flatulence—it is a topic so unspeakable, it may qualify as a form of pornography—literary masters of antiquity suffered no such hangups. Literary luminaries who mentioned farting include William Shakespeare (flatulence is mentioned five times in his plays), Jonathan Swift (who penned a 1722 essay titled “The Benefit of Farting Explain’d”), Geoffrey Chaucer (whose Canterbury Tales include a line about a man who “let fly a fart as loud as it had been a thunder-clap”), Dante Alighieri (whose Inferno mentions a demon who used “his ass as a trumpet”), and Founding Father Ben Franklin, who wrote a whole essay titled “Fart Proudly.”

10. HITLER HAD TERRIBLE GAS.

Not only was the infamous Nazi dictator a speed freak, he also suffered from hepatitis and gastrointestinal cramps, which led to a condition of chronic flatulence for which he took 28 different medications. It is almost certain that no one complained to Hitler about the smell.

11. WHAT EXACTLY IS A FART?

Flatulence—which occurs in nearly all living organisms—is a mixture of hydrogen, nitrogen, oxygen, carbon dioxide, sulfur dioxide, and in some cases, methane. These gases are produced as the byproduct of the trillions of bacteria that break down food during the digestive process.

12. CAN FARTS BE MEASURED?

Yes, indeed, they can—using a “rectal catheter,” researchers are able to shove a tube up a patient’s poop chute to determine the volume of gas that is produced during the sacred act of farting.

 
 
 
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8 Surprising Reasons Farting Is Good For You

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Jul 302017
 

Farting in public is generally frowned upon, but that doesn’t mean you should be ashamed of a little gas. Farts are a sign we are healthy.

8 Surprising Reasons Farting Is Good For You

Okay, so it’s not the most glamorous health tip, and some people might find it a little embarrassing to talk about… But farting is a normal result of a healthy digestive system and good indicator of our well-being.On average, we fart about 5-10 times a day, according to Medical Daily.

Certain foods make us fart more – especially complex carbohydrates such as beans, sweet potatoes, oats and wheat – and foods that are packed full of nutritional value can often lead to a stronger odor.

Whether you fart five or fifty times a day, here are 8 reasons why you should let it out and pay attention.

1. It reduces bloating.

The most common cause of bloating is a build-up of gas in your gut. That’s right – the full, tight discomfort that makes your pants a little tighter might just be because you need to fart. So don’t hold it in.

2. It’ll help you balance your diet.

Everyone has a unique gut and we all handle foods differently. If you are experimenting with nutrition and diet, farts are a good indicator of balance or imbalance, according to Huffington Post. Too much red meat, for example, usually results in a strong, unpleasant odor, while complex carbohydrates tend to cause larger amounts of gas with a more neutral odor.

3. It can relieve abdominal pain.

It might not be appropriate to fart in every situation, but holding it in – especially if you have a lot of gas in your gut – can cause intestinal distension which hurts, according to Berkeley Wellness.

If you feel that you need to fart but you can’t, try gently massaging your stomach to promote the movement of gas through your system.

4. Holding it in can be bad for your colon.

Withholding gas can exacerbate hemorrhoids, for example, as can trying to manipulate the way gas comes out. The best policy is to let it come out naturally. People whose colons have been compromised by illness are also best not to hold in flatulence.

5. Inhaling farts is good for you.

This sounds silly, but a study from the University of Exeter has found that exposure to small amounts of hydrogen sulfide gas (which our guts produce during digestion) may prevent mitochondrial damage to our cells. This could prevent strokes, heart disease, and arthritis, among other things.

6. Farts tell us about our health.

Pay attention to the gas you are passing every day. Is it frequent? Does it have a strong odor? Is there any pain? Fatulence can be an early warning sign for a range of health issues. If you have any pain or pronounced changes in your flatulence that you don’t think are related to diet, it might be worth seeing your doctor.

7. Diagnose food allergies.

Some food allergies cause us to have severe flatulence, and this is certainly the case for lactose intolerance, according to Medical News Today, as with Coeliac Disease. If you have a notable increase in farting after consuming certain foods or food groups, consult your doctor – there are very simple tests which can tell you whether you should be avoiding those foods.

8. It feels good.

We should all admit it – it feels good to let out gas that has been sitting in our abdomens and bothering us. Holding in gas can make us irritable and snappy, and according to Women’s Health Mag the best thing we can do is excuse ourselves to the bathroom and let it out quietly. There’s no relief quite like it.

Still embarrassed? If you think that you pass too much gas and have ruled out any medical issues, then there are small things you can do to reduce the amount of gas you produce, according to Web MD. You can eat more slowly, and avoid carbonated drinks and artificial sweeteners. Limit dairy, and get plenty of exercise. If you think your farts are healthy, then embrace it. Passing gas is a great sign that your digestive system is working as it should.

 
 
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Kid FARTS On Weatherman!

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Mar 122017
 

A kid interrupts a Weatherman’s live forecast to fart on him and warn everyone of a crazy toot storm.

A weatherkid sounds like a cute idea, but an 8-year-old boy named Houston showed Mississippi why it’s probably not the best idea.

Meteorologist Patrick Ellis was doing a run-of-the-mill live weather cast for WLBT on Saturday evening when Houston ran on camera. He is the son of Rocky Wilkins, a lawyer with a recurring segment on WLBT,

“I don’t know what’s going on, but Zayn doesn’t know,” he told Ellis animatedly. “Are you sure, are you crazy sure?”

Houston then proceeded to do a bird impression and directed his rear end to the clearly-flummoxed Ellis, who later implied on a now-deleted social media post that the boy had farted on him.

“All I’m going to say is watch out for the ‘toots’ across central Mississippi,” Ellis said, according to Thrillist.

When Ellis tried to improvise with the boy onscreen, asking if he wanted to “point out the weather,” the boy continued on with the fart jokes.

“Yah, there are farts everywhere and toots ah-naa-naah it’s crazy,” Houston said right before his dad picked him up and took him off screen.

Wilkins said Houston is a regular at the TV studio and has practiced weather forecasting many times in front of the green screen, but never before while the cameras were live.

“During my preshow meeting, Houston went into the studio. I was few feet away from him while he was on air and I thought Houston was doing a good job,” Wilkins said. “Also, meteorologist Patrick Ellis was handling the situation like a real pro. But, when it was time, I had no problem getting Houston off the set and back to where he needed to be.”

Wilkins added his son was “enjoying his celebrity status” and liked being on TV.

“My son told me he’s looking for an agent and I’m now worried he will start charging me an appearance fee just to show up at the dinner table,” Wilkins said.

Hatton Weeks, the news director at WLBT, said he was unable to comment or provide more details on the incident for “a host of reasons,” but did confirm it happened on their Saturday newscast. WLBT is the local affiliate for NBC, according to its Facebook page.

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Joke Of The Day: Fart Football

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Nov 172016
 
Rubber Chicken An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, ‘Seven Points.’

His wife rolls over and says, ‘What in the world was that?’

The old man replied, ‘Its fart football.’

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, ‘Touchdown, tie score…’

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, ‘Aha. I’m ahead 14 to 7.’

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, ‘Touchdown, tie score.’

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, ‘Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.’ Now the pressure is on for the old man.

He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.

Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he’s got, and accidentally poops in the bed.

The wife says, ‘What the hell was that?’

The old man says, ‘Half time, switch sides.’

 

 

 

Joke Of The Day: The Fart

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Aug 142016
 
Rubber Chicken Dr. Epstein was a renowned physician who earned his medical degree in his hometown and then left for Manhattan. Soon he was invited to give a speech in his hometown. As he placed his papers on the lectern they slid off onto the floor and when he bent over to retrieve them, at precisely the wrong instant, he farted, and the microphone amplified it throughout the room. He was embarrassed but regained his composure to deliver his paper. As he concluded, he raced out the stage door, never to be seen in his hometown again.

Decades later when his elderly mother was ill, he returned to visit her. He reserved a hotel room under a false name, Solomon Levy, and arrived under cover of darkness. The desk clerk asked him, “Is this your first visit to our city, Mr. Levy?”

Dr. Epstein replied, “Well, young man, no, it isn’t. I grew up here but then I moved away.”

“Why haven’t you visited?” asked the desk clerk.

“I did visit once, many years ago, but an embarrassing thing happened and since then I’ve been too ashamed to return.”

The clerk consoled him. “Sir, while I don’t have your life experience, one thing I have learned is that often what seems embarrassing to me isn’t even remembered by others. I bet that’s true of your incident too.”

“Dr. Epstein replied, “Son , I doubt that’s the case with my incident.”

“Was it a long time ago?”

“Yes, many years.”

The clerk asked, ‘Was it before or after the Epstein Fart?”