Sep 122017
 

8 Words with 2 meanings…

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female…… Any part under a car’s hood.
Male….. The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female…. Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.
Male….. Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female… The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.
Male… Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko- mit-ment) n.
Female….. A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male…… Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female…. A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male…… Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female…. An embarrassing by-product of indigestion.
Male…… A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female…… The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male….. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female…. A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male… A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

 
 

Understanding Media Spin

 Amusing, Funny, Political  Comments Off on Understanding Media Spin
Jan 162017
 

Understanding Media Spin
A Guide


Spin.

We all know it exists. The newsreaders, commentators and pundits all attempt to persuade others to accept their own point of view on events. This is what has become known as “media spin”. Some are obvious in their efforts, some are quite subtle. The knowledgeable listener is ever alert to this spinning so below is offered a humble guide to help you in your watchfulness.

Understanding Media Spin

“according to industry experts” “industry leaders acknowledge” — displaced former executives

“it’s widely thought” “it’s common knowledge” — constant repetition in the media has folks thinking it is the truth

“experts generally agree that” — some previously unknown college professors

“according to official sources” — two gals from the secretarial pool

“some in Congress say” — a couple of volunteer campaign workers

“internationally it is agreed that” — two East African diplomats told me

“you may not believe this but” — I don’t believe it but, I want you to

“it is believed that” — I think

“it is generally believed that” — a couple of others think so, too

“a new idea going around suggests that” — this is our latest disinformation scam

“it’s being said that” “people are saying” — we planted the seed and now it is spreading

“one observer has said” — a self-absorbed elitist said

“pundits claim” — two self-absorbed elitists said

“insiders say” — a disgruntled employee told me

“business gurus are telling us that” — overheard on the golf course

“according to The New York Times — the only paper biased enough to run the story


 

2016 Revised Political Dictionary

 Funny, Political  Comments Off on 2016 Revised Political Dictionary
Oct 262016
 
Brinkmanship, n. A hardball political strategy whereby members of Congress hold the parents hostage in order to pick the child’s pocket.
 
Congress, n. The only whorehouse that loses money. — D.C. proverb
 
 
Rlectoral college, n. A prestigious college that issues no grades to its enrollees but perpetually flunks democracy.
 
Inauguration, n. A scepterless coronation with bleacher seats.
 
Lie, v. What a politician does with his mouth when he is not eating.
 
Political language, n. Speech designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable. — George Orwell
 
Politics, n. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. — Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary
 
Debate, n. A nationally televised forum in which moderators provide candidates with alternating, 30-second opportunities to evade questioning.
 
Donor, n. In a democratic republic, the primary instrument for expressing the will of the people; not to be confused with a voter.
 
Radical, n. A man with both feet planted firmly — in the air. — Franklin D. Roosevelt
 
Recount, n. A process by which the fruits of a democratic outcome are jettisoned in favor of the pits left over after the lawyers and rented mobs have had a good chew.
 
Running mate, n. A comfortably inferior politician who can complement the shortcomings of your candidacy without compromising your ego.
 
Senator, n. A call center operator with her own driver and stationery.
 
Voters, n. Lost souls who repeatedly select the lesser of two evil roads only to find themselves right back in the ditch where they began.