Joke Of The Day: Cannibal Heartburn

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Oct 052017
 
Joke Of The Day: Cannibal Heartburn A cannibal says to a doctor, “I have terrible heartburn.”

“What did you eat?”

“A couple of missionaries with hooded robes.” “How did you cook them?”

“Boiled.”

“No wonder you have heartburn. Those aren’t boilers. They’re friars!”

 

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Two Cannibals

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Jun 152016
 
Rubber Chicken Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path.

Before long, a little old man came by. The son said, “Oh Dad, there’s one!”

“No,” said the father. “There’s not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We’ll just wait.”

A little while later, along came a very large man. The son said, “Hey dad, he’s plenty big enough.”

“No,” the father said. “We’d all die of a heart attack from the fat on that one. We’ll just wait.”

About an hour later, an absolutely gorgeous woman came past them. The son said, “Now there’s nothing wrong with that one, Dad. Let’s eat her!”

“No,” said the father. “We will not eat her either.”

“Why not?” asked the son. “She’s not too skinny, she’s not too fat. She’s just right!”

“Right,” the father replied. “We’re going to take her back alive and eat your mother.”
 

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Cannibals

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Aug 232013
 

Rubber ChickenTwo cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, “You know, I just can’t seem to get a tender missionary. I’ve baked ’em, I’ve roasted ’em, I’ve stewed ’em, I’ve barbecued ’em, I’ve even tried every sort of marinade. I just cannot seem to get them tender.”

The second cannibal asks, “What kind of missionary do you use?”

The other replied, “You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and their sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads.”

“Ah ha!” he replies. “No wonder.. those are friars!”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: The Pepsi Crash

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Dec 072012
 

Rubber ChickenThere was an airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa. It suddenly had a malfunction and went down.

A few weeks later, PepsiCo sent a rescue plane out to look for the lost plane. They found the wreckage but were unable to locate the crew. They searched the area and found a tribe of cannibals.

They walked up to the Chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew anything about the crash.

The Chief says,”Yeah”.

When asked where the crew was the Chief replied, “We ate the crew and drank the Pepsi.”

The Rescue crew was shocked. One man asked, “Did you eat their legs?”

The chief replied, “We ate their legs and we drank the Pepsi.”

Another rescuer asked, “Did you eat their arms?”

The Chief said, “We ate their arms, and we drank the Pepsi”.

After looking totally perplexed for a minute a third added, “Did you… you know… eat their…. things”?

The chief says, “No.”

“No?” asked the rescuers.

“NO”, replied the Chief, ” THINGS go better with COKE!”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Boiled Alive

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Nov 242012
 

Rubber ChickenTwo missionaries in Africa get apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, build a huge fire under it, and leave them there.

A few minutes later, one of the missionaries starts to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary can’t believe it!

He says, “What’s wrong with you? We’re being boiled alive! They’re gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?”

The other missionary says, “I just peed in the soup.”

 

 

Joke Of The Day

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Sep 292011
 

Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path.

Before long, along came this little old man. The son said, “Ooh dad, there’s one.”

“No,” said the father. “There’s not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We’ll just wait.”

Well, a little while later, along came this really fat man. The son said, “Hey dad, he’s plenty big enough.”

“No,” the father said. “We’d all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We’ll just wait.”

About an hour later, here comes this absolutely gorgeous woman.

The son said, “Now there’s nothing wrong with that one dad. Let’s eat her.”

“No,” said the father. “We’ll not eat her either.”

“Why not?” asked the son.

“Because, we’re going to take her back alive and eat your mother.”

Joke Of The Day

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May 212011
 

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal.
Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu.

Tourist: $5.00
Broiled Missionary: $10.00
Fried Explorer: $15.00
Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00

The cannibal called the waiter over and asked: Why such a high price for the Politicians?

The cook replied: Have you ever tried to clean one? They’re so full of shit, it takes all morning.

Joke Of The Day

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Oct 312010
 

A cannibal entered the meat market to buy something nice for dinner. The owner greeted him and told him to look around. The cannibal began to inspect the meat case and noticed the market specialized in brain.

Upon further inspection he noticed a marked disparity between the costs of brain meats. A carpenter’s brain sells for $1.50 per pound. A plumber’s brain sells for $2.25 per pound. He noticed with alarm that a politician’s brain sells for $375.00 a pound. With not a little curiosity he asked the owner why the huge difference in price between the similar meats.

The owner responded with a deadpan look on his face, “Do you realize how many politicians it takes to get a pound of brains?”