Raising Boys

Raising Boys

a) For those with no children – this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas…

Things I’ve learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year old Boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh oh”, it’s already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego’s will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR’s do not eject “PB & J” sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

25. Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

 

Slap Her

In this heartwarming video, a group of young boys show men how to act. The group of Italian boys ages 6 to 11 are introduced to a young girl on the street. The boys are asked by the cameraman to caress her, compliment her, make her laugh, and finally, to slap her.

Their reactions are priceless, and their decision is unanimous. No way are they hitting a girl.

An Italian magazine’s anti-violence message – a powerful video in which young boys resist when told to slap a girl – has gone viral on social media.

Entitled “Slap Her” in English translations (“Dalle Uno Schiaffo,” “From A Slap”), the three-minute video was produced by Italian magazine Fanpage.

In the video, five different boys, ranging in age from seven to eleven, make small talk with an off-camera interviewer, identified by SBS News as Luca Iavarone. The boys entertain questions like “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Then, a girl is introduced: Martina, who looks to be slightly older than the boys. You can see immediately that the awkwardness between pre-adolescent boys and girls transcends cultures, as some of the boys giggle, some shy away (apparently “Cooties” exist in Italy, too), and one blurts out “I’d like to be your boyfriend.”

But the awkwardness and fun comes to an end when the interviewer abruptly tells them, “Now slap her. Hard.”

In an encouraging and uplifting turn of events, none of the boys hit the girl. The boys provide a variety of reasons, all of them touching.

Read more…

 

Slap Her

 

via

Why It’s Easier To Raise Boys Than Girls

Why It's Easier To Raise Boys Than Girls

Why it’s easier to raise boys than girls:

1. Your kid is upset.
Buy your son a toy and he’s happy.
Buy your daughter a doll and she throws it at you.

2. Your kid gets into a fight at school and you ask why they did it.
Your son: The other kid started it.
Your daughter: I have so much going on in my life right now you have no idea.

3. You ask whats wrong?
Your son: Kid at school beat me up.
Your daughter: Did you ever hate your life?

4. You give your kid a complement, ie. you look good today.
Your son: Thanks.
Your daughter: Oh my god shut up!

5. You tell your kid to eat their food.
Your son: I’m full/I don’t want anymore.
Your daughter: I’m too fat./Food makes me sick.

6. Dad/Mom I want a…
Your son: New Video game/ toy/ TV
Your daughter: Pony, Jewellery.

7. When your kid is mad at you.
Your son: Storms out.
Your daughter: Systematically destroys you mentally.

8. You say “I’m worried about you”.
Your son: I’ll be fine.
Your daughter: You never trust me.

9. Misbehaving.
Your son: Learns curse words, breaks things, gets bad grades, disobeys instructions.
Your daughter: Emotional blackmail, spends all your money, plants emotional instabilities that will slowly be the cause of your nervous breakdown.

 

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