|Where do you take a sick boat?
To the dock!
The Atlantic animates the evolution of transportation, from 8,000 BC to present day.
Ever since the first hominids left Africa, human beings have been on the move. The canoe was invented in 8,000 B.C. and the first form of public transportation was a stagecoach operated in Paris in 1662. Fast forward to today’s self-driving car prototype, and it’s clear just how far we’ve come.
They came in automobiles fueled by oil, wearing clothing made from oil, to protest oil, in kayaks made from oil. Then they tweeted their photos on phones made from oil and drove home.
Share the irony.
Lockheed Martin has just finished building the brand new Littoral Combat Ship Detroit and launched it into the Menominee River on Saturday, Oct. 18, 2014. This video demonstrates the mind-blowing way they launched it into the water.
The Lockheed Martin [NYSE: LMT]-led industry team launched the nation’s seventh Littoral Combat Ship (LCS), Detroit, into the Menominee River at the Marinette Marine Corporation (MMC) shipyard.
The ship’s sponsor, Mrs. Barbara Levin, christened Detroit with the traditional smashing of a champagne bottle across the ship’s bow just prior to the launch.
“It is a privilege to serve as the sponsor of the future USS Detroit and to participate in the major milestones along the way to her assuming her place as part of the great U.S. Navy fleet”, said Mrs. Levin. I also look forward to an ongoing relationship with her courageous crews and their families throughout the ship’s lifetime.”
Following christening and launch, Detroit will continue to undergo outfitting and testing before delivery to the Navy in 2015.
“It is an honor to continue supporting the U.S. Navy with these capable and flexible warships,” said Dale P. Bennett, executive vice president of Lockheed Martin’s Mission Systems and Training business. “The Lockheed Martin-led team’s LCS design is lethal, survivable, and affordable.These ships will help the Navy achieve its goal to increase forward presence, and can be upgraded or modified quickly to meet future missions.”
The U.S. Navy awarded the contract to construct Detroit in March 2011. The ship is one of five LCS currently under construction at Marinette Marine.
“On behalf of Marinette Marine, we are incredibly proud to build these ships for the U.S. Navy,” said Jan Allman, MMC president and CEO. “We continue to streamline our processes and leverage the craftsmanship and skills of our employees in producing these high quality vessels for our warfighters.”
The Lockheed Martin-led industry team is building the Freedom-variant ships, and has already delivered two ships to the U.S. Navy. USS Freedom (LCS 1) completed a successful deployment to Southeast Asia in 2013. USS Fort Worth (LCS 3) will deploy to Southeast Asia in 2014. Milwaukee (LCS 5) will be delivered to the U.S. Navy in 2015. Detroit (LCS 7) was christened and launched on Oct. 18, 2014. Little Rock (LCS 9), Sioux City (LCS 11) and Wichita (LCS 13) are under construction. Billings (LCS 15) will begin construction this year.
Earlier this year, the Navy funded Indianapolis (LCS 17) and LCS 19, which is yet to be named.
Meanwhile somewhere in Turkey…
Zjarany Zbyszek uploaded an intense video from Turkey of a large ship parking on a beach after squeezing between two smaller boats. The footage appears to have been taken at a wrecking yard where all of the boats were destined to become scrap.
We’re pretty sure the captain of this boat knew the boats on either side of him were being scrapped when he wedged himself in between them, but we’re still impressed with his skill in doing it without making more of a mess.
via Laughing Squid
Two fishermen in Russia are knocked over by the blast as a hand grenade they were using to catch fish explodes too early. Hilarity ensues.
‘Gone fishing’ is a phrase usually associated with a quiet afternoon out on the water, fishing rod in hand, pondering the world.
But these fishermen decided to forget rod and reel, opting for much more heavy-duty bait, a hand grenade.
The stupid men are lucky to be alive after their attempt at catching fish in Russia.
A pack of Killer whales chase a speed boat in this amazing video.
Rich and Laura Howard love the ocean, the two celebrated their 20th wedding anniversary with a diving trip to La Paz Mexico. Their dive was cut short when killer whales, aka orca whales, approached the area. As soon as the boat took off, the pod of about 17-20 killer whales began playing in the boat’s wake. The two captured this incredible footage.
|A Cuban, a Japanese guy, an American and a Mexican are in a boat.
The Cuban pulls out a box of cigars, takes one and throws the rest in the water. He puffs twice and throws it in the water. He says, “We have so many cigars in Cuba, we can spare a few.”
The Japanese guy pulls a computer chip out of his pocket and throws it in the water. He says, “We produce so many of these, we can spare a few.”
The American looks at the Mexican and the Mexican says “Don’t even think about it.”
The Affordable Boat Act – 2014
The U.S. government has just passed a new law called: “The Affordable Boat Act” declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat, by April 2014.
These “affordable” boats will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000 each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance or repair costs.
This law has been passed, because until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase boats. This new law ensures that every American can now have an “affordable” boat of their own, because everyone is entitled to a new boat. If you purchase your boat before the end of the year, you will receive 4 “free” life jackets; not including monthly usage fees.
In order to make sure everyone purchases an affordable boat, the costs of owning a boat will increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don’t want or can’t afford to maintain. But to be fair, people who can’t afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined, and children (under the age of 26) can use their parents boats to party on until they turn 27; then must purchase their own boat.
If you already have a boat, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you can’t). If you don’t want or don’t need a boat, you are required to buy one anyhow. If you refuse to buy one or can’t afford one, you will be regularly fined $800 until you purchase one, or face imprisonment.
Failure to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert or urban areas with no access to lakes are not exempt. Age, motion sickness, experience, knowledge, nor lack of desire are acceptable excuses for not using your boat.
A government review board (that doesn’t know the difference between the port, starboard or stern sides of a boat) will decide everything, including; when, where, how often and for what purposes you can use your boat along with how many people can ride your boat, and determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use their boat. They will also decide if your boat has outlived its usefulness, or if you must purchase specific accessories (like a $500 compass), or a newer and more expensive boat.
Those who can afford yachts will be required to do so…it’s only fair.
The government will also decide the name for each boat.
Failure to comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment.
Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat, they and their families can obtain boats free, at the expense of taxpayers. Unions, bankers and mega companies with large political affiliations are also exempt.
If the government can force you to buy health care, they can force you to buy a boat or ANYTHING else..
Yeah… it’s that bad…“