Tag: Bartenders
Joke Of The Day: Beer For Everyone
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A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “Beer for me, beer for you, and beer for everyone who is in the bar now.” After drinking, the man starts walking out of the bar. “Hey, what about the payment?” yells the bartender. “I have no money,” answers the man. The bartender hears that and beats the man as hard as he can, then throws him out into the street.
The next evening the man walks again into the bar and says to the bartender, “Beer for me, beer for you, and beer for everyone who is in the bar now.” The bartender thinks to himself, “The man can’t be stupid enough to pull the same trick twice, tonight he must have enough money”, and gives beer to everyone. After drinking, the man starts walking out of the bar. “Hey, what about the payment?” yells the bartender. “I have no money,” answers the man. The bartender hears that and beats the man as hard as he can, then throws him out into the street. One evening later the man walks again into the bar and says to the bartender, “Beer for me, and beer for everyone who is now in the bar.” In disgust, the bartender asks “What, no beer for me this time?” “No,” answers the man, “you get violent when you drink.” |
Joke Of The Day: Trouble
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A man walks into a bar, and tells the bartender to pour him a 12-year-old single malt scotch “before the trouble starts.”
The bartender pours his drink and quietly moves away. After finishing his drink, the man calls the bartender back and tells him “pour me a 15-year-old scotch before the trouble starts.” The bartender thinks this is very strange but pours him the 15-year-old scotch. After finishing that drink, the man tells the bartender to pour him an 18-year-old scotch “before the trouble starts.” The bartender is becoming a little worried, but pours him the 18-year-old scotch. Before the man finishes his 18-year-old scotch, the bartender finally gets up the nerve to ask: “Say friend, when this trouble is going to start?” To which the man replies: “The trouble starts, when you find out that I don’t have any money.” |
Joke Of The Day: Shots
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A man goes into a bar, takes a seat, and orders five shots.
The bartender gives him an odd look since he’s all by himself, but he serves up the five shots and lines them up on the bar. The man downs them all quickly. He finishes the last one and calls out, “Four shots, please!” The bartender serves up four shots and lines them on the bar. The man downs them all. Then he belches loudly, sways slightly on the stool, and orders three. And one after the other, he knocks them back. “Two shots!” he calls, and the bartender places two shots in front of him. Down they go. As the man slams the last one down on the bar, he says, “One shot bartender.” So the bartender fills the glass. The man sits there, staring at it for a moment, trying to focus. Then he looks at the barman and says, “You know, it’s a funny thing, but the less I drink, the drunker I get.” |
Joke Of The Day: Pour Another One For My Friend
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There was a mine in a small town that had completely collapsed. One of the engineers who miraculously survived the disaster went into the local watering hole. The bar was empty except for one lonely soul at the other end of the bar.
“Hey bartender” said the Engineer, “I’ll have a beer and pour another one for my friend down at the end there.” The bartender responded, “I’m sorry sir but that guy’s a Chinaman and we don’t serve his kind around here.” “Well, you’d better because if it weren’t for that guy, I wouldn’t be here. You remember that mine that caved in, well I was in that mine and so was that guy. When the last of us were escaping, he held the roof of the mine up with his head! So get him a beer and if you don’t believe me, look at the top of his head and you’ll see that it’s flat from holding the roof up.” The bartender skeptically served the Chinaman his beer and then came back to talk to the Engineer: “I saw the flat spot on his head but I also couldn’t help noticing all the bruising under his chin. What’s that all about?” The engineer responded: “Oh… that’s where we put the jack.” |
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