Joke Of The Day: Drink Myself To Death

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Jul 162017
 
Joke Of The Day: Drink Myself To Death The bartender asks “Why the long face?”

The man replies “I just found out my wife is sleeping with another man. I’ve decided I’m going to drink myself to death.”

The bartender looks shocked and says “I’m sorry I can’t help you kill yourself.”

The man asks “Well what would you do in my situation?”

The bartender puffs himself up a bit and says “If I found out a guy was sleeping with my wife I wouldn’t sit around feeling sorry for myself, I’d kill the guy.”

The man jumps up from his stool and shouts “That’s a great idea! Thanks!” and runs out of the bar.

A couple hours goes by and the bartender is starting to get nervous when the man walks back into the bar with a smile on his face.

“Did you kill the guy?” The bartender asks nervously.

“Nope! I slept with your wife. Whiskey please.”

 

 

 

Joke Of The Day: A Gorilla Goes Into A Bar

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Mar 072017
 
Rubber Chicken A gorilla goes into a bar and orders a martini. This totally amazes the bartender, but he thinks, “What the heck, I guess I might as well make the drink.” So he mixes the martini. He then walks back over to the give it to the gorilla, and the animal is holding out a twenty-dollar bill. Well, now the bartender is just at a loss for words. He can’t believe that a gorilla walked into his bar, ordered a martini, and then actually had a twenty-dollar bill to pay for it.

So, in amazement, he takes the twenty and walks to the cash register to make the change. While he’s standing in front of the cash register he stops for a second and thinks to himself, “Let me try something here and see if the gorilla notices anything.”

So he walks back over to the gorilla and hands him a dollar change. The gorilla doesn’t say anything, he just sits there sipping the martini. After a few minutes the bartender just can’t take it anymore.

“You know,” he says to the gorilla, “we don’t get too many gorillas in here.”

And the gorilla says, “At nineteen dollars a drink I’m not surprised.”

 

 

 

Inflatable Irish Pub

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Nov 212016
 

Inflatable Irish Pub

The inflatable Irish pub is the adult version of a bouncy castle. All you have to do is stick it on a patch of grass or a driveway (it doesn’t have a floor) and get ready to party.

There is nothing quite like visiting the pub to unwind and enjoy some time with friends or family. It turns out that it may be a lot easier to get to the pub than what you first considered! After all, you can inflate one in your own backyard.

The Inflatable Irish pub by the Boston based ThePaddyWagonpub is the adult version of the bounce house. You stick it on a patch of grass or a driveway and you are almost set for the party! It doesn’t even need a floor.

Up to 80 people can fit inside of one of these inflatable bars and it is absolutely perfect for your next outdoor gathering.

The company that offers these items also provides fresh foods and menus along with entertainment if you desire. They come in multiple sizes, so you can pick the one that is right for your party.

There are many options available, including a 33 foot long blowup building! They also come in a variety of styles, including traditional with timber framing or musty brick.

These temporary pubs will set you back about $435 for rent. You will also like the fact that they can be purchased outright and they even ship these pubs worldwide.

You can rent one at ThePaddyWagonPub.com or other US and UK locations

International sales (UK-based): Inflatable.pub

Via: Mental Floss

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Source…

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Joke Of The Day: A Cheating Wife

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Dec 012014
 
Rubber Chicken A guy walked into a crowded bar, waving his model 1911 Colt .45 caliber pistol with an 8 round magazine, and yelled, “Who in here has been screwing my wife?”

A voice from the back of the bar yelled back, “You need more ammo!”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: The Tavern In The Middle Of Nowhere

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Sep 052014
 
Rubber Chicken A crusty old biker out on a long summer ride in the country pulls up to a tavern in the middle of nowhere, parks his bike and walks inside. As he passes thru the swingin’ doors, he sees a sign hanging over the bar:

COLD BEER: $2.00
HAMBURGER: $2.25
CHEESEBURGER: $2.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH: $3.50
HAND JOB: $50.00

Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary payment, the ol’ biker walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled farmers.

She glides down behind the bar to the biker.

“Yes?” she inquires with a wide, knowing smile. “May I help you?”

The biker leans over the bar, “I was wondering, young lady,” he whispers: “are you the one who gives the hand jobs?”

She looks into his eyes with that wide smile and purrs “Why yes. Yes, I sure am.”

The biker leans closer and into her left ear whispers softly, “Well, wash your hands real good, then, ’cause I want a cheeseburger.”