Joke Of The Day

President Obama walks into the Bank of America to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says “Good morning Ma’am, could you please cash this cheque for me”?

Cashier: “It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID”?

Obama: “Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn’t think there was any need to. I am President Barrack Obama, the President of the United States of America!!!!”

Cashier: “Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations, monitoring, of the banks because of impostors and forgers, etc I must insist on seeing ID”

Obama: “Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am”

Cashier: “I am sorry Mr. President but these are the bank rules and I must follow them.”

Obama: “I am urging you please to cash this cheque”

Cashier: “Look Mr. President this is what we can do: One day Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putting iron and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his cheque. Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that spectacular shot we cashed his cheque. So, Mr. President, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, as the President of the United States?”

Obama stood there thinking, and thinking and finally says: “Honestly, there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can’t think of a single thing I can do.”

Cashier: “Will that be large or small bills, Mr. President?”

CEO Says Government Pressured Bank Of America To Buy Merrill Lynch


House lawmakers today accused federal regulators of a gross misuse of power in orchestrating a “shotgun wedding” between Bank of America Corp. and Merrill Lynch & Co. that cost U.S. taxpayers $20 billion.

They also took aim at Bank of America Chief Executive Officer Kenneth Lewis, questioning whether he played dumb last fall as Merrill’s financial losses mounted and threatened not to go through with the merger to squeeze money from the government.

“Why did a private business deal announced in September and approved by shareholders in December — with no mention of government assistance — end up costing taxpayers $20 billion in January?” asked Rep. Edolphus Towns, D-N.Y., chairman of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee.

The panel has been investigating the deal, including whether federal officials pressured Lewis and urged him to keep quiet about Merrill Lynch’s financial problems. Not divulging that information would have violated Lewis’ fiduciary duty to the bank’s shareholders.

In testimony before the committee, Lewis said publicly for the first time that his job was threatened after he expressed second thoughts about the merger. Lewis said then-Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson and federal regulators made clear that if the bank reneged on its promise they would force his ouster and that of board members at the bank.

“What gave me concern is that they gave that threat to a bank in good standing,” Lewis told the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee. “So it showed the seriousness with which they thought that we should not” back out.

Paulson and Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke also pledged government aid to Bank of America to help absorb the losses, Lewis said.

Bank of America ultimately received $45 billion from the government’s bank bailout program, $20 billion of which was tied to its acquisition of Merrill Lynch.

Lewis said he was never asked by Paulson or Bernanke to withhold information from his shareholders. However, Lewis said Paulson told him in a telephone call that the government was reluctant to put the terms of the deal in writing because it would have prompted public disclosure.

The Federal Reserve declined to comment on Lewis’ testimony.

A spokeswoman for Paulson has said the former Treasury secretary felt a letter would have been too vague to help Bank of America and only served to rattle markets by creating more questions than answers. She said questions about disclosures by the bank were left up to the Bank of America.

Towns said he plans to invite Bernanke and Paulson to testify at a later hearing.

Lawmakers on the committee said they were troubled by Lewis’ testimony as well as internal Fed documents related to the deal.

In one e-mail, Bernanke said he thought Lewis’ threat to pull out of the deal was a “bargaining chip” and “we do not see it as a very likely scenario at all.”

Other e-mails by federal analysts suggested they thought it suspect that Lewis claimed to be surprised by Merrill’s losses given the clear signs of a deteriorating economy.

An employee at the Richmond Federal Reserve said Bernanke had made it clear that if Bank of America backed out and needed financial assistance, “management is gone.”

Towns and Rep. Darrell Issa, R-Calif., the committee’s top Republican, said the merger was an obvious “shotgun wedding” that came at the expense of the taxpayer.

However, Rep. Dennis Kucinich, D-Ohio, said he thought Lewis was the one who was pressuring the government.

“There’s been a misconception here that the government put a gun to the head of Bank of America, when it’s quite possible that it was the Bank of America that put a gun to the head of the Fed by threatening” to back out, Kucinich said.

Lewis said he did nothing wrong. In the end, the decision to go ahead with the acquisition — with the promise of government support — was in everyone’s best interest, he testified. “This course made sense for Bank of America and its shareholders, and made sense for the stability of the markets,” he said. “We viewed those two interests as consistent.”

Just a few weeks after the deal was completed, Bank of America’s fourth-quarter earnings report showed the hit taken by its balance sheet because of the Merrill Lynch transaction, which made Lewis the target of shareholder anger.

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