Joke Of The Day: Einstein The Dog

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Apr 182016
 
Rubber Chicken A guy gets a new dog, a nice Jewish dog. He names the dog Einstein and trains Einstein to do a couple of tricks. He can’t wait to show Einstein off to his neighbor. A few weeks later when the neighbor finally comes over, the guy calls Einstein into the house, bragging about how smart he is.

The dog quickly comes running and stands looking up at his master, tail wagging excitedly, mouth open, tongue hanging out, eyes bright with anticipation. The guy points to the newspaper on the couch and commands “Fetch!”

Immediately, the dog climbs onto the couch and sits, his tail wagging furiously. Then all of a sudden, he stops. His doggie smile disappears. He starts to frown and puts on a sour face. Looking up at his master, he whines, “You think this is easy, wagging my tail all the time? Oy vey… And you think it’s easy eating that junk that you call designer dog food? Forget it… it’s too salty and it gives me gas. It’s disgusting I tell you!”

The neighbor is absolutely amazed… stunned. In astonishment, he says, “I can’t believe it. Einstein can speak. Your dog actually talks. You asked him to fetch the newspaper and he is sitting on the sofa talking to us.”

“I know, I know,” says the dog owner. “He’s not yet fully trained. He thought I said kvetch.”

 

 

 

Famous People Who Found Success Despite Failures

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Nov 242015
 

Some of the most successful people in history faced failure after failure before achieving the success they’re known for today!

Famous People Who Found Success Despite Failures

Need some motivation that shows you real results from perseverance? Nothing motivates quite like finding out that even famous creators and inventors were in the exact same boat as you, maybe even for longer. Some of the most well-known and influential people in history endured rejection and failure before achieving their goals, but their persistence won out in the end.

Just imagine the regret of those who once rejected your work. That in itself is pretty motivating!

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31 Quotes That Will Give You Chills

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Jul 262015
 

31 Quotes That Will Give You Chills

Quotes have a powerful way of conveying an attitude to you which sometimes resonates so much that you feel ‘chills’ inside. Here’s a list of the quotes which have given me the most of these “chills”.

  1. Some people die at 25 and aren’t buried until 75. ~ Benjamin Franklin

  2. Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions. Their lives a mimicry. Their passions a quotation. ~ Oscar Wilde

  3. Two possibilities exist: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying. ~ Arthur C. Clark

  4.  Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. ~ Albert Einstein

  5. Of all sad words of mouth or pen, the saddest are these: it might have been. ~ John Greenleaf Whittier

  6. I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks, but I do fear the man who has practised one kick 10,000 times. ~ Bruce Lee

  7. And when you gaze long enough into the abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

  8. Don’t let schooling interfere with your education. ~ Mark Twain

  9. A man may die, nations may rise and fall, but an idea lives on. ~ John F. Kennedy

  10. It is no measure of health to be well~ adjusted to a profoundly sick society. ~ Jiddu Krisnamurti

  11. Every man dies, but not every man truly lives. ~ William Wallace

  12. Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. ~ Plato

  13. Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go. ~ Oscar Wilde

  14. Have I not destroyed my enemy when I have made him into my friend? ~ Abraham Lincoln

  15. To love is to recognize yourself in another. ~ Eckhart Tolle

  16. Prejudices are rarely overcome by argument; not being founded in reason they cannot be destroyed by logic. ~ Tryon Edwards

  17.  If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea. ~ Antoine de Saint~ Exupery

  18. They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. ~ Benjamin Franklin

  19. Only when the last tree has died and the last river has been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realize we cannot eat money. ~ Indian Proverb

  20. And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. ~ Kahlil Gibran

  21. Try as much as possible to be wholly alive, with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell and when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough. ~ William Saroyan

  22. When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life. ~ John Lennon

  23. Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. ~ Albert Einstein

  24. As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world – that is the myth of the atomic age – as in being able to remake ourselves. ~ Mahatma Gandhi

  25. The best people possess a feeling for beauty, the courage to take risks, the discipline to tell the truth, the capacity for sacrifice. Ironically, their virtues make them vulnerable; they are often wounded, sometimes destroyed. ~ Ernest Hemingway

  26. In a closed society where everybody’s guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity. ~ Hunter S. Thompson

  27. Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. ~ Dwight D. Eisenhower

  28. Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step. ~ Lao Tzu

  29. Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, said: “ Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”

  30. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need. We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off ~ Chuck Palahniuk

  31.  The most dangerous man, to any government, is the man who is able to think things out for himself, without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost invariably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane and intolerable, and so, if he is romantic, he tries to change it. And if he is not romantic personally, he is apt to spread discontent among those who are. ~ HL Mencken

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Joke Of The Day: Einstein’s Chauffeur

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Feb 022015
 
Rubber Chicken When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.

“I have an idea, boss,” his chauffeur said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.”

Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”

When they arrive at the dinner, Einstein donned the chauffeur’s cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The chauffeur gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.

Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the chauffeur fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my chauffeur, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”