Headstone Humor

Cause-Of-Death-800pxBorn 1903-Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the
car was on the way down. It was.

In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.

In a London, England cemetery:
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767

In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
Anna Wallace:
The children of Israel wanted bread,
And the Lord sent them manna.
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.

In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies Johnny Yeast..
Pardon me
For not rising.

In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.

In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
Here lays The Kid.
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw.

A lawyer’s epitaph in England:
Sir John Strange. .
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.

John Penny’s epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
Reader, if cash thou art
In want of any,
Dig 6 feet deep;
And thou wilt find a Penny.

In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
On the 22nd of June,
Jonathan Fiddle
Went out of tune.

Anna Hopewell’s grave in Enosburg Falls,Vermont
Here lies the body of our Anna –
Done to death by a banana.
It wasn’t the fruit that laid her low,
But the skin of the thing that made her go.

On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
Under the sod and under the trees,
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there’s only the pod.
Pease shelled out and went to God

In a cemetery in England:
Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, you soon will be.
Prepare yourself and follow me.
To which someone replied by writing on thetombstone:
To follow you I’ll not consent
Until I know which way you went

Last add, from Boot Hill, in Tombstone, Arizona:
Here lies Lester Moore
One slug from a 44
No Les
No More

 

Random Riddle: 10-31-2016

Two men went into a restaurant. They sat at a table and the waiter came by and asked, “What do you want to drink?”

The first man said, “I’ll have H20.”

The second man said, “I’ll have H20 too.”

The second man died.

Why?
 

Riddle

 

Wikileaks Exposes Hillary As A Profit Center

This latest release from Wikileaks has a Bombshell of an email from Brent Budowski to John Podesta.

In it Brent Budowski confirms:

It’s all about the money.

people now working for her who consider her a profit center for their income and not a cause or a mission that they believe in.

People around Hillary are dumber than bird shit.

never publicly stated, that some of the people around her—not you but others—are dumber than bird shit when it comes to modern public opinion and modern politics

The Obamas didn’t like the Clintons one damn bit.

an unbridled contempt for Bill and Hillary Clinton. Some of them, who now are visible for Hillary, said or wrote things to me when I suggested possible contributions by one of the Clintons that were so dripping with contempt that I told them that if they ever do that again in my presence I would treat it as on the record, write it, and name them, that’s how bad it was.

The whole damned email is a gold mine!

From: Budowski To: Podesta

Late fall is much too late. WJC should have begun early summer in stages, a periodic but reinforcing presence escalating late fall, not beginning late fall. If it wasn’t important enough for him to do compared to other things he is doing, shame on him. If it was a staff-generated plan, shame on them. High probability I write a very strong column very soon about these things. I have been very aggressive defending her and avoiding any criticism while she was under attack but this is now going very wrong and when I read the NYT story that reconfirms my view, never publicly stated, that some of the people around her—not you but others—are dumber than bird shit when it comes to modern public opinion and modern politics.

I will tell you, I was an early Obama supporter in 2007 and 2008, which was a mistake, but I was in the inner loop going to meetings with John Kerry sitting on my right and Tom Daschle sitting on my left and exchanging ideas with the top Obama people in D.C. and Chicago by speaker phone. They had then, and carried with them into the White House, an unbridled contempt for Bill and Hillary Clinton. Some of them, who now are visible for Hillary, said or wrote things to me when I suggested possible contributions by one of the Clintons that were so dripping with contempt that I told them that if they ever do that again in my presence I would treat it as on the record, write it, and name them, that’s how bad it was.

There are some people now working for her who consider her a profit center for their income and not a cause or a mission that they believe in. They almost certainly carry with them an incredible jealousy that Obama has always harbored towards Bill Clinton and a condescending attitude towards Hillary Clinton. That attitude shines through the Times story today that treats her a commodity to be sold and not as a leader of the nation…..it treats her as a calculating tactician who is changing her maneuvers about how to sell herself to manipulatable voters and not as a putative president with a heart and a soul and a passion about WHY she wants to be president and what she would do if she is…..

An inauthentic strategy to make her look authentic is absurd.

Hillary Money - Hillary It's All About The Money

 

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