| I pass before the sun, yet make no shadow.
What am I? |
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Month: June 2015
Joke Of The Day: An Irish Confession
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A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, ‘I almost had an affair with another woman.’
The priest said, ‘What do you mean, almost?’ The Irishman said, ‘Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.’ The priest said, ‘Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Marys and put $50 in the poor box.’ The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, ‘I saw that! You didn’t put any money in the poor box!’ The Irishman replied, ‘Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!’ |
Jeanne Calment – The Woman God Forgot
Jeanne Calment holds the world record for the longest confirmed lifespan (122).
She lived in Arles, France, and claimed to have met Vincent van Gogh at the age of 13 when he came into her father’s shop in 1888 to buy coloured pencils. She found him to be, “Dirty, badly dressed and disagreeable.”
She outlived her daughter and grandson by several decades. In 1965 she signed a deal to sell her apartment to lawyer André-François Raffray on a contingency contract. Then aged 47, he agreed to pay her 2,500 francs a month until she died. However, he died before she did, at 77 from cancer, and his widow was obliged to continue the payments – which ended up far exceeding the value of the apartment. Calment used to say to them that she was competing with Methuselah.
She was 94 when man first walked on the moon, and lived on her own until the age of 110, when she moved into a nursing home having become blind and nearly deaf. Her mind was however still intact – until her death at the age of 122 she was sharp as a knife.
The assumption of the medics was that she benefitted from extraordinary genes. Her father lived until six days shy of 93 and her brother François lived to the age of 97. Although genes probably played a part, there were also other aspects to her long life we can learn from.
Her husband’s wealth made it possible for her not to have to work; instead she lived a leisured lifestyle playing tennis, cycling, swimming, roller-skating, piano and going to the opera. Swimming in particular is a sport practised by many centenarians. At the age of 85 she took up fencing, proving that not sitting around waiting for death but developing new interests irrespective of age is a factor in life extension. The fact she continued to cycle until the age of 100 indicates regular exercise contributed to her longevity. It is also likely she suffered from very little stress. Not working is not an option for most of us, but it is nonetheless significant that she avoided all the diseases of later life while having a lot of fun. Managing stress through thought selection and intelligent use of music, massage/meditation and leisure is crucial to staying ageless.
She ascribed her long life to a diet rich in olive oil and garlic, which has been shown to help prevent arthritis, heart disease, hypertension and lung cancer among other things. She ate chocolate every day – today chocolate is lauded for its tremendous antioxidant potential. It lowers cholesterol, prevents cognitive decline and reduces the risk of cardiovascular problems. She also had a minor vice – a pêché mignon as the French say – port and a cigarette after her meal. Allowing oneself pleasurable things in moderation releases endorphins – or in lay terms, makes life worth living, proving the old adage that a little bit of what you fancy does you good. These days smokers can use e-cigarettes and enjoy the pleasure of nicotine without the risks of tobacco. As she reached her 110th birthday she took to saying, “God has forgotten me”. Her recipe for long life is telling – fun and laughter, or put another way, a positive outlook and developing the ability to avoiding casting oneself in the role of victim. When asked how she saw the future she replied with her famous sense of humour, “Short”.
On her 122nd birthday on 21 February 1997 she decided not to make any more public appearances as her health had deteriorated. The French gerontologist Jean-Marie Robine said this “allowed her to die as the attention had kept her alive”. He also said perhaps in a century everyone will live to 100.
Attitudes to ageing continue to change and medical research is unstoppable. Jeanne Calment died with a sound mind, but no one could claim she did not look her age. She was blind and almost deaf. Our goal is not to extend life to live it in feeble old age, but to live an active, healthy life to 100 and beyond.
After four and a half billion heart beats, her heart stopped on August 4th of the same year.
Strange World War II Facts
You might enjoy this from Col D. G. Swinford, USMC, Ret and a history buff. You would really have to dig deep to get this kind of ringside seat to history:
1. The first German serviceman killed in WW II was killed by the Japanese (China, 1937). The first American serviceman killed was killed by the Russians (Finland 1940); highest ranking American killed was Lt. Gen Lesley McNair, killed by the US Army Air Corps. So much for allies.
2. The youngest US serviceman was 12 year old: Calvin Graham, USN. He was wounded and given a Dishonorable Discharge for lying about his age. His benefits were later restored by act of Congress.
3. At the time of Pearl Harbor, the top US Navy command was called CINCUS (pronounced ‘sink us’); the shoulder patch of the US Army’s 45th Infantry division was the Swastika, and Hitler’s private train was named ‘Amerika.’ All three were soon changed for PR purposes.
4. More US servicemen died in the Air Corps than the Marine Corps. [Actually the 8th Air Force alone suffered about 5,000 more KIA than the entire Marine Corps in WW2. While completing the required 30 missions, an airman’s chance of being killed was 71%.
5. Generally speaking, there was no such thing as an average fighter pilot. You were either an ace or a target. For instance, Japanese Ace Hiroyoshi Nishizawa shot down over 80 planes. He died while a passenger on a cargo plane.
6. It was a common practice on fighter planes to load every 5th round with a tracer round to aid in aiming. This was a mistake. Tracers had different ballistics, so (at long range) if your tracers were hitting the target, 80% of your rounds were missing. Worse yet tracers, instantly told your enemy he was under fire and from which direction. Worst of all was the practice of loading a string of tracers at the end of the belt to tell you that you were out of ammo. This was definitely not something you wanted to tell the enemy. Units that stopped using tracers saw their success rate nearly double and their loss rate go down. Here’s something related from 5th SF, Detachment B-52’s Tips of the Trade item #32; “Tracers work both ways”.
7. When allied armies reached the Rhine, the first thing men did was pee in it. This was pretty universal from the lowest private to Winston Churchill (who made a big show of it) and Gen. Patton (who had himself photographed in the act).
8. German Me-264 bombers were capable of bombing New York City, but they decided it wasn’t worth the effort.
9. German submarine U-1206 was sunk by a malfunctioning toilet.
10. Among the first ‘Germans’ captured at Normandy were several Koreans. They had been forced to fight for the Japanese Army until they were captured by the Russians and forced to fight for the Russian Army until they were captured by the Germans and forced to fight for the German Army until they were captured by the US Army.
11. Following a massive naval bombardment, 35,000 United States and Canadian troops stormed ashore at Kiska, in the Aleutian Islands. 21 troops were killed in the assault on the island. It could have been worse – if there had been any Japanese on the island.
12. The last marine killed in WW2 was killed by a can of spam. He was on the ground as a POW in Japan when rescue flights dropping food and supplies came over, the package came apart in the air and a stray can of SPAM hit him and killed him.
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