Joke Of The Day: Pesky Squirrels

Rubber Chicken There were five houses of religion in a small town:

The Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church, the Catholic Church and the Jewish Synagogue.

Each church and Synagogue was overrun with pesky squirrels.

One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn’t interfere with God’s divine will.

In the Baptist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.

The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creation. So, they humanely trapped the Squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.

But — The Catholic Church came up with what was thought to be the best and most effective solution. They baptized and confirmed the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas, Ash Wednesday, Palm Sunday and Easter.

Not much was heard about the Jewish Synagogue, but they quietly took one squirrel and had a short service with him called Bris, (in which his circumcision occurred) and they haven’t seen a squirrel on the property since.

 

 

Obama Announces Plan To Fight Al Qaeda, By Arming Al Qaeda

Obama Announces Plan To Fight Al Qaeda, By Arming Al Qaeda

I can’t see how this plan could possibly go wrong.

From FrontPage Magazine:

The Obama administration asked Congress on Thursday to authorize $500 million in direct U.S. military training and equipment for Syrian opposition fighters

Obama didn’t ask Congress for authorization to invade Libya. He told Congress that he wouldn’t ask for permission to bomb Iraq.

The only reason Obama asks for something is to score political points or to cover his ass. In this case it’s the latter because even Obama knows this is a terrible idea.

That’s why he has been delaying for so long.

Within the OCO request, the Syria money is part of a $5 billion fund announced by Obama last month to help build a new counterterrorism infrastructure with partner countries “from South Asia to the Sahel.”

So Obama is going engage in counterterrorism… by arming and training terrorists. That’s like running guns to Mexican drug cartels to stop Mexican drug cartels from having guns…

… another brilliant Obama plan.

The request does not specify the type of military equipment that would be included. Under the existing covert program, the administration has sent limited quantities of small arms and ammunition and has allowed others to send U.S.-made antitank weapons.

So we’re going to be giving them unspecified weapons that could be used against American targets.

A US chopper in Afghanistan was already shot down by the Taliban using a Qatari shipment of Stinger missiles meant for Libya. That was another of Obama’s great plans.

Obama turned a blind eye to Qatar smuggling weapons to Jihadists in Syria.

The $500 million training and equipping mission would be aimed at helping “vetted elements” of the Syrian armed opposition to “defend the Syrian people, stabilize areas under opposition control, facilitate the provision of essential services, counter terrorist threats, and promote conditions for a negotiated settlement.”

What exactly are these “vetted elements”?

1. Last spring the New York Times wrote, “Nowhere in rebel-controlled Syria is there a secular fighting force to speak of.”

2. The only opposition we supposedly backed was the Free Syrian Army.

Unfortunately…

A. The Free Syrian Army consisted of a coalition of mostly Islamist militias under Islamist commanders, some of whom carried out joint operations with Al Qaeda/Al Nusra Front, which has pledged alliance to ISIS/Al Qaeda in Iraq.

B. An Islamist coalition easily took on the FSA and stole all the stuff we gave them while their fighters ran away.

C. 4 out of 5 FSA front commanders demanded to work with Al Qaeda.

D. Its leader initially defended Al Qaeda/Al Nusra and claimed they weren’t terrorists.

3. There is no such thing as a “vetted opposition” because the weapons we give will go down to individual groups that can align with whoever they chose and trade weapons with anyone they choose.

The FSA fighter we train today may be an Al Qaeda fighter tomorrow or he may have been Al Qaeda last week.

4. ISIS got so big and dangerous because of the weapons and recruits pouring into the Syrian opposition. Trying to arm and train “moderate elements” just keeps the conflict going which makes Al Qaeda grow faster and bigger than ever.

You can’t beat Al Qaeda by helping Al Qaeda.

Source…

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