Joke Of The Day: How Things Work At The Pearly Gates

Rubber Chicken An old man dies and goes to the Pearly Gates where he is greeted by St. Peter.

St. Peter says to the old man, “I’ll explain the rules to you. You need 100 points to enter heaven. You can start telling me all the good deeds that you have done and I will allot you points. If you score a hundred, you will be given entry.”

The old man begins, “I was happily married to the same woman for 63 years. I never as much as looked at another woman in my life. I loved my wife and took care of all her needs.”

“That’s good,” says St. Peter. “I’ll give you 3 points.”

“Oh,” says the man. “This is going to be tougher than I thought. Well, I was regular at church regularly, volunteered my time and prayed faithfully.”

“Fine,” says St. Peter, “That will be another 2 points.”

“Just 2 points?” says the old man. “All right, I was also involved with a prison ministry for twenty years. I went into the prison, every month and shared prayers with them.”

“Great!” says St. Peter. “Another 3 points for you!”

“Only three points!” says the man. “At the rate we are going, it will be only by the grace of God that I will ever get into this place.”

“Bingo!” says St. Peter. “That’s a hundred points! Come on in.”