Top Ten Things You Don’t Want to Hear During Surgery

10. Whoops! Somebody grab that … we may need to put it back in later.

9. Spike! Spike! Come back with that! Bad dog! Bad, bad dog!

8. Is that supposed to be there? The book said it should be on the other side.

7. Sterile, schmerile.

6. That’s cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?

5. Gosh, if this works, I hope they name the procedure after me!

4. Okay, we’re ready for the transplant, wheel in the pig.

3. Don’t worry, I think it’s sharp enough.

2. No, don’t throw that away, we’ll probably need it for the autopsy.

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR DURING SURGERY?

1. Can you stop that thing from beating? It’s throwing my concentration off.