45 degrees – Vermont residents go to outdoor concert.
40 degrees – You can see your breath, Californians shiver uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming.
35 degrees – Italians cars don’t start.
32 degrees – Water freezes.
30 degrees – You plan your vacation in Australia.
25 degrees – Ohio water freezes, Californians weep pitiably, Minnesotans eat ice cream, Canadians go swimming.
20 degrees – Politicians begin to talk about the homeless, New York City water freezes, Miami residents plan vacation farther south.
15 degrees – French cars don’t start, cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.
10 degrees – You need jumper cables to get the car going.
5 degrees – American cars don’t start.
0 degrees – Alaskans put on T-shirts.
-10 degrees – German cars don’t start, eyes freeze shut when you step outside.
-15 degrees – You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo, Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects, Miami residents cease to exist.
-20 degrees – Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you, politicians actually do something about the homeless, Minnesotans shovel snow off roof, Japanese cars don’t start.
-25 degrees – Too cold to think, you need jumper cables to get the driver going.
-30 degrees – You plan a two week hot bath, Swedish cars don’t start.
-40 degrees – Californians disappear, Minnesotans button top button, Canadians put on sweater, your car helps you plan your trip South.
-50 degrees – Congressional hot air freezes, Alaskans close the bathroom window.
-80 degrees – Polar bears move South, Green Bay Packer (and Buffalo Bills) fans order hot cocoa at the game.
-90 degrees – Politicians put their hands in their own pockets.
