When the operator answers she yells, “Help, send the police to my house right away! There’s a damn Republican on my front porch and he’s playing with himself.”
“What?” the operator exclaimed.
“I said there is a damn Republican on my front porch playing with himself and he’s weird; I don’t know him and I’m afraid! Please send the police!” the little old lady repeated.
“Well, now, how do you know he’s a Republican?”
“Because, you damn fool, if it was a Democrat, he’d be screwing somebody!”