Joke Of The Day

It was Halloween and three vampires went into a saloon and bellied up to the bar. “

What will you have?” the bartender asked.

“I’ll have a glass of blood,” the first replied.
“I’ll have a glass of blood, too, please,” said the second.
“I’ll have a glass of plasma,” said the third.

“OK, let me get this straight,” the bartender said. “That’ll be two bloods and a blood light?”

Ford Unveils a New 1965 Mustang

It’s now possible to build a brand new ’64½, ’65 or ’66 Ford Mustang convertible from the wheels up using this latest Ford-approved and officially licensed body shell.

Unveiled today ahead of its public debut at next week’s 2011 Specialty Equipment Market Association (SEMA) show in Las Vegas, the new body shell joins previous ‘restoration parts’ versions for the 1967-68 and the 1969-70 fastback Mustang bodies.

The standard design is for the ’65 Mustang convertible but the original ’64½ as well as the later ’66 can be built depending on which powertrain and trim parts are added to it.

The body, which is currently being produced by Dynacorn and is ready for delivery, is priced at $15,000 and includes the doors, trunk lid, and all the sheet metal from the radiator support to the taillight panel except the hood and front fenders.

Unlike the original Mustangs of the 1960s, the new body shell is made using modern welding techniques and comes fully rust-proofed. This should ensure the cars are around to stay well into the future. The original Mustang sold more than 1.2 million units–including more than 174,000 convertibles–before its first redesign in 1967, but finding one in good nick is getting harder and harder these days.

To build a Mustang using the body shell, the powertrain, suspension and brakes, the electrical systems, the interior and trim can either be bought new or transferred from an existing car to the new body. You’ll find most of the parts from Ford-approved classic parts suppliers.

Source…

Food

Whether you are a mum who cooks for many, a bachelor who cooks on rare occasions for himself, or a new college student who for the first time has his or her own refrigerator — you will eventually all open the fridge one day and say to yourself, “Can I eat this or will it kill me?”

Well here are some guidelines to help you get through the crisis, so you will know what to eat and what to toss.

THE GAG TEST
Anything that makes you gag is spoiled (except for leftovers from what you cooked for yourself last night).

EGGS
When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime.

DAIRY PRODUCTS
Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt. Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway and can’t get any more spoiled than it is already. Cheddar cheese is spoiled when you think it is blue cheese but you realize you’ve never purchased that kind.

MAYONNAISE
If it makes you violently ill after you eat it, the mayonnaise is spoiled.

FROZEN FOODS
Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled (or wrecked anyway) by the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife.

EXPIRATION DATES
This is NOT a marketing ploy to encourage you to throw away perfectly good food so that you’ll spend more on groceries. Perhaps you’d benefit by having a calendar in your kitchen.

MEAT
If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three-block radius to congregate outside your house, the meat is spoiled.

BREAD
Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable “spots” that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread. Fuzzy and hairy looking white or green growth areas are a good indication that your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical laboratory experiment.

FLOUR
Flour is spoiled when it wiggles.

LETTUCE
Bibb lettuce is spoiled when you can’t get it off the bottom of the vegetable crisper without Comet. Romaine lettuce is spoiled when it turns liquid.
(We didn’t think you needed guidance with this one)

CANNED GOODS
Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a softball should be disposed of.
Carefully.

CARROTS
A carrot that you can tie a clove hitch in is not fresh.

RAISINS
Raisins should not be harder than your teeth.

POTATOES
If it looks like it is ready for planting, toss it.

CHIP DIP
If you can take it out of its container and bounce it on the floor, it has gone bad.

EMPTY CONTAINERS
Putting empty containers back into the refrigerator is an old trick, but it only works if you live with someone or have a maid.

UNMARKED ITEMS
You know it is well beyond prime when you’re tempted to discard the Tupperware along with the food. Generally speaking, Tupperware containers should not burp when you open them.

GENERAL RULE OF THUMB
Most food cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a hamster. Keep a hamster in or nearby your refrigerator to gauge this.

Random Riddle

The four jolly men are members of an orchestra hired to play at a dance.
Hold your mouse over for the answer.
Four jolly men sat down to play,
And played all night till break of day.
They played for cash and not for fun,
With a separate score for every one.
When it came time to square accounts,
they all had made quite fair amounts.
Now, not one has lost and all have gained –
Tell me now, this can you explain?
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