Three Navy Ships Put it in Perspective

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Mar 312011

Seeing her next to the Arizona Memorial really puts its size into perspective… ENORMOUS!

Shoulder to shoulder, the deck measures 4.5 acres, with displacement of about 100,000 tons with full complement. Top speed exceeds 30 knots, powered by two nuclear reactors that can operate for more than 20 years without refueling…

The USS Ronald Reagan is expected to operate in the fleet for about 50 years, and carries over 80 combat aircraft. The bridge towers 20 stories above the waterline, and at 1092 feet long, the hull is nearly as long as the Empire State Building is tall.

Driven by four 21-ft. bronze propellers each 21 feet across and weighing 66,200 pounds, the USS Ronald Reagan is home to cca 6,000 sailors. It carries enough food and supplies to operate for 90 days between port calls, with 18,150 meals served daily.

Four onboard distillation plants provide 400,000 gallons of fresh water from sea water daily, enough for 2,000 homes…

USS Bill Clinton:

The USS William Jefferson Clinton is show here sailing out of its home port of Vancouver , BC.

The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton ‘for his foresight in military budget cuts’ and his conduct while holding the (formerly dignified) office of President.

This one is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which -although they cannot be launched on the 100 ft deck- form a very menacing presence.

As a standing order, there are no firearms allowed on board. This crew -much like those aboard the USS Jimmy Carter- receive weeks of special training in how to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States… at all costs.

An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may have found America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.

When conflict cannot be avoided, the USS Bill Clinton has orders to promptly seek refuge in Canada.

USS Barack Obama:

The USS Barack Hussein Obama is a secure development program, and at this point details are vague.

But no worries… he has a plan.


Random Riddle

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Mar 312011
Hold your mouse over for the answer.
I’m a perfect language,
I’m an adult’s disgrace,
I’m a sign on love,
I control your face.

What am I?

Apparently I Was Wrong….

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Mar 312011

At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day. I lost by one point. The question was where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently, the correct answer was Africa.

One of the other questions was to name two things commonly found in cells. It appears that Negroes and Mexicans is not the correct answer either.

Joke Of The Day

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Mar 312011

I just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and mentioned it on Facebook.

I said, “I can’t wait for the new 911 to arrive!”

Next thing I know 4000 Muslims have added me as a friend!

Mar 302011

This is a brilliant idea! It’s built around a dog’s desire to dig holes and live in dens.

A Dog House That Is Naturally Heated and Cooled Using Geothermal Energy

The design of this unique “21st Century Eco-Friendly” underground dog house takes advantage of the Earth’s own natural temperature control system. The indestructible shell is partially buried to create, not only a natural den habitat preferred by dogs, but is also then cooled in the Summer and heated in the Winter, naturally.



SmartBird – Bird Flight Deciphered

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Mar 302011

Video Description:

SmartBird is an ultralight but powerful flight model with excellent aerodynamic qualities and extreme agility. With SmartBird, Festo has succeeded in deciphering the flight of birds – one of the oldest dreams of humankind.

This bionic technology-bearer, which is inspired by the herring gull, can start, fly and land autonomously – with no additional drive mechanism. Its wings not only beat up and down, but also twist at specific angles. This is made possible by an active articulated torsional drive unit, which in combination with a complex control system attains an unprecedented level of efficiency in flight operation. Festo has thus succeeded for the first time in creating an energy-efficient technical adaptation of this model from nature.

New approaches in automation
The functional integration of coupled drive units yields significant ideas and insights that Festo can transfer to the development and optimisation of hybrid drive technology.

The minimal use of materials and the extremely lightweight construction pave the way for efficiency in resource and energy consumption.

Festo already today puts its expertise in the field of fluid dynamics to use in the development of the latest generations of cylinders and valves. By analysing SmartBird’s flow characteristics during the course of its development, Festo has acquired additional knowledge for the optimisation of its product solutions and has learned to design even more efficiently.


Random Riddle

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Mar 302011
The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry.
Hold your mouse over for the answer.
A woman shoots her husband.
Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes.
Finally, she hangs him.
But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together.

How can this be?

Joke Of The Day

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Mar 302011

Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch.

As they read the menu the waitress comes over and asks Clinton, “Are you ready to order?”

Clinton replies, “Yes, I’d like a quickie.”

“A quickie?!?” the waitress replies. “Sir, given the current situation of your personal life I don’t think that is a good idea.

I’ll come back when you are ready to order from the menu.”

She walks away.

Gore leans over to Clinton and says, “It’s pronounced Quiche.”