During a December 10, 2010 appearance on Roe & Roeper’s Miracle on Indianapolis Blvd. Holiday Extravaganza broadcast, live from The Venue inside the Horseshoe Casino, which benefitted the USO, GEICO’s R. Lee Ermey appearing on behalf of Toys 4 Tots took an opportunity to unload on President Obama, claiming his administration was destroying the country so that it could impose socialism.
Text Acronyms For Old People
Since more and more Seniors are texting and tweeting,there appears to be a need for a STC (Senior Texting Codes).
ATD: At The Doctor’s
BFF: Best Friend Farted
BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM: Covered By Medicare
CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center
DWI: Driving While Incontinent
FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers
FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
FYI: Found Your Insulin
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
GHA: Got Heartburn Again
HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL: Living On Lipitor
LWO: Lawrence Welk’s On
OMMR: On My Massage Recliner
OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas.
ROFL… CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing… And Can’t Get Up
SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?
WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again
WTP: Where’s The Prunes?
WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil
This is dedicated to all the men and women who have fought and continue to fight for our freedoms.
It was a romantic full moon, when Huan Cho said “Hey baby, how about playing Weeweechu.”
“Oh no, not now, lets look at the moon” said Jung Lee.
“Oh, c’mon baby, let’s you and I play Weeweechu. I love you and it’s the perfect time,” Huan Cho begged.
“But I rather just hold your hand and watch the moon.”
“Please Jung Lee, just once play Weeweechu with me.”
Jung Lee looked at Huan Chi and said, “OK, we’ll play Weeweechu.”….
Huan Cho grabbed his guitar and both sang….
“Weeweechu a melly Chlistmas,
Weeweechu a melly Chlistmas,
Weeweechu a melly Chlistmas,
and a happy New Year.”
A compilation of viral video wins for 2010.
Before the final match, the American coach came to the wrestler and said. “Now don’t forget all the research we’ve done on this Russian. He’s never lost a match because of his “Pretzel” hold he has.
Whatever you do, don’t let him get you in this hold. If he does you’re finished. The wrestler nodded in agreement.
Now the match started. The American and the Russian circled each other several times looking for an opening. All of a sudden the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the American and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold.
A sigh of disappointment went up from the crowd, and the coach buried his face in his hands for he knew all was lost. He couldn’t watch the ending.
Suddenly there was a scream, a cheer from the crowd, the trainer raised his eyes just in time to see the Russian flying up in the air. The Russian’s back hit the mat with a thud, and the American weakly collapsed on him getting the pin and winning the match.
The coach was astounded! when he finally got the wrestler alone, he asked “How did you ever get out of that hold? no one has ever done it before”
The wrestler answered “Well I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold, but at the last minute I opened my eyes and saw this pair of balls right in front of my face. I thought I had nothing to lose, so with the last of my strength I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as i could. You’d be amazed at how strong you get when you bite your own balls!”
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?
Read the next question before looking at the answer for this one.
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates.
Candidate A –
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He’s had two Mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.
Candidate B –
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.
Candidate C –
He is a decorated war hero. He’s a vegetarian, doesn’t smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.
Which of these candidates would be your choice?
Decide first, no peeking, then scroll down for the answer.
Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler!
And, by the way, the answer to the abortion question: If you said yes, you just killed Beethoven.
Pretty interesting isn’t it? Makes a person think before judging someone.