From the video:
This kid, I think it’s at college, makes an instrument out of PVC pipe and plays everything from Lady Gaga to Ozzy on it,
-Office Theme Song
-Linus and Lucy
-Mario Brothers Theme
-In the Hall of the Mountain King
-Viva La Vida
-Like a Virgin
-Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger
-James Bond Theme
-Pirates of the Caribbean Theme
-The Final Countdown (featuring my friend, Quin)
Good morning, Mr van Rompuy,
You’ve been in office for one year and in that time the whole edifice is beginning to crumble, there’s chaos, the money’s running out – I should thank you; you should perhaps be the pin-up boy of the Eurosceptic movement.
But just look around this chamber, this morning. Just look at these faces. Look at the fear. Look at the anger. Poor old Barroso here looks like he’s seen a ghost.
They’re beginning to understand that the game is up and yet in their desperation to preserve their dream, they want to remove any remaining traces of democracy from the system. And it’s pretty clear that none of you have learnt anything.
When you yourself, Mr van Rompuy, say that the euro has brought us stability. I suppose I could applaud you for having a sense of humour, but isn’t this, really, just the bunker mentality?
Your fanaticism is out in the open. You talked about the fact that it was a lie to believe that the nation state could exist in the 21st Century globalised world. Well, that may be true in the case of Belgium, who haven’t had a government for six months, but for the rest of us, right across every member state in this Union – and perhaps this is why we see the fear in the faces – increasingly people are saying, ‘We don’t want that flag. We don’t want the anthem. We don’t want this political class. We want the whole thing consigned to the dustbin of history.’
And we had the Greek tragedy earlier on this year, and now we have this situation in Ireland. Now I know that the stupidity and greed of Irish politicians has a lot to do with this. They should never ever have joined the euro. They suffered with low interest rates, a false boom and a massive bust.
But look at your response to them. What they’re being told, as their government is collapsing, is that it would be inappropriate for them to have a general election. In fact Commissioner Rehn here said they had to agree their budget first before they’d be allowed to have a general election.
Just who the hell do you think you people are?
You are very very dangerous people, indeed. Your obsession with creating this Euro state means that you’re happy to destroy democracy. You appear to be happy for millions and millions of people to be unemployed and to be poor. Untold millions must suffer so that your Euro dream can continue.
Well it won’t work. Because it’s Portugal next, with their debt levels of 325% of GDP, they’re the next ones on the list, and after that I suspect it will be Spain. And the bailout for Spain would be seven times the size of Ireland’s and at that moment all of the bailout money has gone – there won’t be anymore.
But it is even more serious than economics. Because if you rob people of their identity. If you rob them of their democracy, then all they are left with is nationalism and violence. I can only hope and pray that the Euro project is destroyed by the markets before that really happens.
In one particular case, an attractive young maid, from a very poor family was wed to a well-off, but relatively unattractive businessman.
When the wedding night finally came, the couple, at the bride’s insistence, stayed in a hotel near her families home. Early in the evening, the harried bride came rushing through the door.
“Mother, Mother!” cried the girl, “He says that we should sleep together!”
“It’s alright, girl, married people sleep together. Now go back before he starts to worry about you.”
“Oh,” said the girl, and returned to her husband who had already begun to disrobe. When she saw his hairy chest, she went running back to her mother.
“Mother, Mother, he is taking off his clothes, and he is covered in hair!”
“It’s alright girl, men have hair on their bodies, don’t let it bother you… Now, get back their before he starts wondering about you.”
When she returns, she finds the man naked for the first time, and sees that he had part of his right foot amputated. She flees, in fright, back to mom.
“Mother, mother, he only has a foot and a half!”
“Stand back, girl!” says the mother, “This is a job for a real woman!”
Leslie Nielsen, who traded in his dramatic persona for inspired bumbling as a hapless doctor in “Airplane!” and the accident-prone detective Frank Drebin in “The Naked Gun” comedies, died on Sunday in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. He was 84.
Please be advised…
I am sick of receiving questions about my dog who mauled 3 Muslims, 6 illegals wearing Obama t-shirts, 4 Democrats wearing Pelosi t-shirts, 2 rappers, 5 phone operators who asked me to press #1 for English, 9 teenagers with their pants hanging down past their cracks, 8 customer service desk people speaking in broken English and 10 flag burners…
FOR THE LAST TIME THIS DOG IS NOT FOR SALE!!!
I can’t wait till the skin cancer lawsuits start coming her way.
After billions of years the Sun finally has an owner — a woman from Spain’s soggy region of Galicia said Friday she had registered the star at a local notary public as being her property.
Angeles Duran, 49, told the online edition of daily El Mundo she took the step in September after reading about an American man who had registered himself as the owner of the moon and most planets in our solar system.
There is an international agreement which states that no country may claim ownership of a planet or star, but it says nothing about individuals, she added.
“There was no snag, I backed my claim legally, I am not stupid, I know the law. I did it but anyone else could have done it, it simply occurred to me first.”
The document issued by the notary public declares Duran to be the “owner of the Sun, a star of spectral type G2, located in the centre of the solar system, located at an average distance from Earth of about 149,600,000 kilometers.”
Duran, who lives in the town of Salvaterra do Mino, said she now wants to slap a fee on everyone who uses the sun and give half of the proceeds to the Spanish government and 20 percent to the nation’s pension fund.
She would dedicate another 10 percent to research, another 10 percent to ending world hunger — and would keep the remaining 10 percent herself.
“It is time to start doing things the right way, if there is an idea for how to generate income and improve the economy and people’s wellbeing, why not do it?” she asked.
You have to love British humor!
These are classified ads, which were actually placed in a U.K. newspaper:
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old.
Hateful little b**as**ard.
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour’s dog.
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.
Worn once by mistake.
FOR SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.
A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on his birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that he grew up, etc. So he asked his class, “Where is Jesus today?”
Steven raised his hand and said, “He’s in heaven.”
Mary was called on and answered, “He’s in my heart.”
Jimmy, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, “I know! I know! He’s in our bathroom!”
The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response.
The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Jimmy how he knew this.
Jimmy said, “Well… every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells ‘Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'”
Filmmaker and P-51 Mustang Pilot Chris Woods has put together a wonderful film that captures the emotional reunion between a humble WWII Mustang ace (Jim Brooks) and the historic plane he thought he’d never see again.
Inspired by the flood of memories triggered by this unimaginable encounter with a long lost friend, the 88-year old pilot finally breaks his silence, sharing his stories and experiences of war with the grandchildren who never thought they’d hear them.
‘The Day the Dollar Died’, which shows the world exactly what could happen to the U.S. economy in the very near future during the first 12 hours of a U.S. dollar collapse.
When someone helps a criminal during a crime, we call them “accomplices”
When someone helps a criminal after a crime, we call them “lawyers”
Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, “We have the Coliseum.”
The Greek retorts, “We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics.”
The Italian, nodding agreement, says, “But we built the Roman empire.”
And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.
With a flourish of finality he says, “We invented sex!”
The Italian replies, “That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women.”