Joke Of The Day

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Jun 302010
 

A man lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and he went to the parish priest and asked, ‘Father, my dog is dead. Could ya’ be saying’ a mass for the poor creature?’

Father Patrick replied, ‘I’m afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there’s no tellin’ what they believe. Maybe they’ll do something for the creature.’

The man said, ‘I’ll go right away Father. Do ya’ think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?’

Father Patrick exclaimed, ‘Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn’t ya tell me the dog was Catholic?

The Age of Insanity

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Jun 302010
 

How’s this for apocalyptic literature. This was written by a pastor’s wife in biblical prose as a commentary of current events. It is brilliant.

And it came to pass in the Age of Insanity that the people of the land called America , having lost their morals, their initiative, and their will to defend their liberties, chose as their Supreme Leader that person known as “The One.”

He emerged from the vapors with a message that had no meaning; but He hypnotized the people telling them, “I am sent to save you.” My lack of experience, my questionable ethics, my monstrous ego, and my association with evil doers are of no consequence. I shall save you with hope and Change. Go, therefore, and proclaim throughout the land that he who proceeded me is evil, that he has defiled the nation, and that all he has built must be destroyed. And the people rejoiced, for even though they knew not what “The One” would do, he had promised that it was good; and they believed. And “The One” said ” We live in the greatest country in the world. Help me change everything about it!” And the people said, “Hallelujah! Change is good!”

Then He said, “We are going to tax the rich fat-cats.” And the people said “Sock it to them!” “And redistribute their wealth.” And the people said, “Show us the money!” And the he said, ” redistribution of wealth is good for everybody.”

And Joe the plumber asked, ” Are you kidding me? You’re going to steal my money and give it to the deadbeats??” And “The One” ridiculed and taunted him, and Joe’s personal records were hacked and publicized. One lone reporter asked, “Isn’t that Marxist policy?” And she was banished from the kingdom!

Then a citizen asked, “With no foreign relations experience and having zero military experience or knowledge, how will deal with radical terrorists?” And “The One” said, “Simple. I shall sit with them and talk with them and show them how nice we really are; and they will forget that they ever wanted to kill us all!” And the people said, “Hallelujah!! We are safe at last, and we can beat our weapons into free cars for the people!”

Then “The One” said “I shall give 95% of you lower taxes.” And one, lone voice said, “But 40% of us don’t pay ANY taxes.” So “The One” said, “Then I shall give you some of the taxes the fat-cats pay!” And the people said, “Hallelujah! Show us the money!” Then “The One” said, “I shall tax your Capital Gains when you sell your homes!” And the people yawned and the slumping housing market collapsed. And He said.. “I shall mandate employer-funded health care for every worker and raise the minimum wage. And I shall give every person unlimited healthcare and medicine and transportation to the clinics.” And the people said, “Give me some of that!” Then he said, “I shall penalize employers who ship jobs overseas.” And the people said, “Where’s my rebate check?”

Then “The One” said, “I shall bankrupt the coal industry and electricity rates will skyrocket!” And the people said, “Coal is dirty, coal is evil, no more coal! But we don’t care for that part about higher electric rates.” So “The One” said, Not to worry. If your rebate isn’t enough to cover your expenses, we shall bail you out. Just sign up with the ACORN and you troubles are over!”

Then He said, “Illegal immigrants feel scorned and slighted. Let’s grant them amnesty, Social Security, free education, free lunches, free medical care, bi-lingual signs and guaranteed housing…” And the people said, “Hallelujah!” and they made him king!

And so it came to pass that employers, facing spiraling costs and ever-higher taxes, raised their prices and laid off workers. Others simply gave up and went out of business and the economy sank like unto a rock dropped from a cliff. The banking industry was destroyed. Manufacturing slowed to a crawl. And more of the people were without a means of support.

Then “The One” said, “I am the “the One”- The Messiah – and I’m here to save you! We shall just print more money so everyone will have enough!” But our foreign trading partners said unto Him. “Wait a minute. Your dollar is not worth a pile of camel dung! You will have to pay more… And “The One” said, “Wait a minute. That is unfair!!” And the world said, “Neither are these other idiotic programs you have embraced. Lo, you have become a Socialist state and a second-rate power. Now you shall play by our rules!”

And the people cried out, “Alas, alas!! What have we done?” But yea verily, it was too late. The people set upon The One and spat upon him and stoned him, and his name was dung. And the once mighty nation was no more; and the once proud people were without sustenance or shelter or hope. And the Change “The One” had given them was as like unto a poison that had destroyed them and like a whirlwind that consumed all that they had built.

And the people beat their chests in despair and cried out in anguish, “give us back our nation and our pride and our hope!!” But it was too late, and their homeland was no more.

You may think this a fairy tale, but it’s not. It’s happening RIGHT NOW!

Jun 302010
 
Dr. Seuss: I Do Not Like This Uncle Sam I do not like this Uncle Sam,

I do not like his health care scam.

I do not like these dirty crooks,

or how they lie and cook the books.

I do not like when Congress steals,

I do not like their secret deals.

I do not like this speaker, Nan,

I do not like this ‘YES WE CAN.’

I do not like this spending spree,

I’m smart – I know that nothing’s free.

I do not like your smug replies,

when I complain about your lies.

I do not like this kind of hope.

I do not like it, nope, nope, nope!

 

 

 

Video Game Saves Boy’s Eyesight

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Jun 302010
 

Finally something good coming from a video game. A kid from Britain was diagnosed with a “lazy eye syndrome”, which had to potential to cause blindness if left untreated. To remedy this, his doctor prescribed that the boy play Mario Kart on his Nintendo DS for two hours every day, while wearing a patch across his strong eye, so that his “lazy eye” could become stronger.


A British youth overcame what is called “lazy eye syndrome” thanks to a doctor’s prescription of Mario Kart DS, restoring his right eye from “near blindness” to a 250 percent improvement.

At age 5, Ben Michaels was diagnosed with ambylopia in his right eye, which results in a steady decline in vision in that eyeball. Untreated he would have gone completely blind in it. His doctor, however, told Ben to play Mario Kart DS with an eye patch, which trained the “lazy” one to work harder and thus to improve.

Best part, the therapy called for playing video games two hours a day. Sorry mom, doctor’s orders! It doesn’t appear that the success was dependent Mario Kart DS or any specific game or console. Perhaps its mentioned here because it was Ben’s favorite.

“A games console is something children can relate to. It allows us to deliver treatment quicker,” said Ben’s doctor. “What we don’t know is whether improvement is solely because of improved compliance, i.e. the child sticks with the patch more, or whether there is a physiological improvement from perceptual visual learning.”

Either way, it appears to have worked.

Source…


Word of the Day: Dhimmitude

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Jun 292010
 

Need something to get your blood boiling?

Has anyone heard of this new word? Dhimmitude?

Amish and other religious groups may be exempt from forced purchase of healthcare policies under Obama care.

You know what other groups this could include? Muslims and Christian Scientists may be exempt from having to have government healthcare.

Word of the Day: Dhimmitude

There is an exemption for “certain religious groups” in the Health Care Bill. Obama supporters check it out yourself.

Type Dhimmitude into Google and start reading.

Note that Muslims and certain other religions are exempt from the Obamacare penalties and it is supported by law.

We are surrendering from within! The prez is leading us right down the path to total Muslim control and you should care! Now the truth comes out.

Dhimmitude is the Muslim system of controlling non-Muslim populations conquered through jihad. Specifically, it is the TAXING of non-Muslims in exchange for tolerating their presence AND as a coercive means of converting conquered remnants to Islam.

The ObamaCare bill is the establishment of Dhimmitude and Sharia Muslim diktat in the United States.

Muslims may be specifically exempted from the government mandate to purchase insurance, and also from the penalty tax for being uninsured. Islam considers insurance to be “gambling”, “risk-taking” and “usury” and is thus banned. Muslims may be specifically granted exemption based on this.

How convenient. So I, John Smith, as a Christian, will have crippling IRS liens placed against all of my assets, including real estate, cattle, cars and etc. and even accounts receivables, and will face hard prison time because I refuse to buy insurance or pay the penalty tax. Meanwhile, Louis Farrakhan will have no such penalty and will have 100% of his health needs paid for by the de facto government insurance at our expense. Non-Muslims will be paying a tax to subsidize Muslims. Period. This is Dhimmitude.

Dhimmitude serves two purposes: it enriches the Muslim masters AND serves to drive conversions to Islam. In this case, the incentive to convert to Islam will be taken up by those in the inner-cities as well as the godless Generation X, Y and Z types who have no moral anchor or belief in God!

If you don’t believe in Christ to begin with, it is no problem whatsoever to sell Him for 30 pieces of silver. “Sure, I’ll be a Muslim if it means free health insurance and no taxes. Where do I sign, brother?” Now all you Obama voters get in line for your free stuff!…However, I suggest you don’t hold your breath!…

I recommend sending this email to all your contacts. This is desperately important and people need to know about it and what the past election has done to all of us!

P.S. Have you heard about the summit Obama is holding in DC for the future Muslim business leaders in the US? He wants to increase their ability to begin business opportunities in the US for the Muslim community!

Better start looking for a country that doesn’t cater to the Muslims. . . . Australia doesn’t. . . . because this country will be overrun by Muslims like Europe is currently experiencing.

And you thought our problem was the Mexicans!

Joke Of The Day

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Jun 292010
 

A man was just waking up from anaesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, ‘You’re beautiful.’ Then he fell asleep again.

His wife had never heard him say that before, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said, ‘You’re cute..’ The wife was disappointed because instead of ‘beautiful,’ it was now ‘cute.’

She asked, ‘What happened to beautiful?’

The man replied, ‘The drugs are wearing off.’

“Obama Most Radical US President Ever” States Prestigious Harvard Phd

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Jun 292010
 

Dr. Richard L. Rubinstein, Yale fellow, “Distinguished Professor of the Year”, and Harvard Phd, states that president Obama’s intention is to “correct the historical mistake of the creation of the state of Israel.” Dr. Rubenstein states that president Obama due to his family heritage is extremely pro Muslim – to the point of “wanting to see the destruction of Israel.”

Of Mosques and Men: Reflections on the Ground Zero Mosque

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Jun 282010
 


Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf, of the Islamic Cultural Center of New York (currently the largest mosque and Islamic cultural center in Manhattan) is planning an Islamic community center and mosque near Ground Zero says his critics are bigots and the project will stamp out terrorism – not fan the flames.

This mosque will cost more than US$ 100 million, and by now, tons of money is already being shifted in the fund for this construction. Interestingly, major segment of this money is coming from Arab nations especially Saudis.

Since September 11th, 2001, a number of controversial statements came from at least two of the centers leaders, both of them blaming the Jewish population for the attacks and denying any muslim involvement.

Originally reported as a 15 story center of islamic learning, perhaps each floor will honor one of the Saudi martyrs who “died to defend islam” on 9-11 and the final design will likely include 4 minarets, each to honor the remaining 4 martyrs who “died for islam” on that day.

Rauf, is on record as telling CNN, right after the 9/11 attacks, “U.S. policies were an accessory to the crime that happened. We [the U.S.] have been an accessory to a lot of innocent lives dying in the world. Osama bin Laden was made in the USA.”

Elsewhere, Rauf has stated that terrorism will end only when the West acknowledges the harm it has done to Muslims. And that it was Christians who started mass attacks on civilians.

Interesting that Christians started “mass attacks on civilains” apparently referring to the Crusades which ran from 1095 until 1291 with the fall of Arce. Rauf apparently does not think that the Muslim Invasion of Spain in 710 or the two invasion of France resulted in any “mass attacks on civilians” because Islam is a “peaceful religion.”

Let’s see, leaders of the “peaceful religion of islam” invade Spain in 710 and give the Spanish people three choices, convert to islam, death by the sword or subjugation, the dhimmitude.

What Muslims call “tolerance,” others would correctly call sanctioned institutionalized discrimination. The consignment of Jews and Christians to dhimmis under Islamic rule means that they are not allowed the same religious rights and freedoms as Muslims. They cannot share their faith, for example, or build houses of worship without permission.

Historically, dhimmis have often had to wear distinguishing clothing or cut their hair in a particular manner that indicates their position of inferiority and humiliation. They do not share the same legal rights as Muslims, and must even pay a poll tax (the jizya). They are to be killed or have their children taken from them if they cannot satisfy the tax collector’s requirements.

Then, after coverting, killing and subjugating their way across Spain, the “peaceful followers of islum” decide to invade France, what followed was the First Muslim Invasion of France in 721, led by al-Samh ibn Malik and his force of 375,000 Arabs, which was defeated at the Battle of Toulouse by Duke Odo of Aquitaine. This defeat cost the muslims most of their army and they returned to Spain.

In 732, the Second Muslim Invasion of France, led by Abdul Rahman Al Ghafiqi and his force of 80,000 Arabs, which sacked the city of Bordeaux and defeated an army led by Duke Odo of Aquitaine, at the Battle of the River Garonne. The Second Invasion come to grief when it engaged the an army led by Charles “the Hammer” Martel at the Battle of Tours. After the loss of Rahman, who was killed during the fighting, the Muslims retreated during the night, abandoning their camp, taking only the plunder (from looting) they could carry and returned to Spain. After being defeated twice in 11 years, the muslims lost interest in France and consolidated their power in Spain.

Starting in around 800, Christians would invade Spain to free it from Muslim rule or enslavement. this process would take almost 700 years, until 1492 and the signing of the Treaty of Granada for Spain to be freed from Muslim rule.

Apparently neither the Muslim Invasion and Subjugation or enslavement of Spain that began in 710 or the Two Muslim Invasion of France count as “mass attacks on civilians.” The fact that the Crusades were a series of defensive wars launched by the Christian West following the invasions of Spain and France.

Why let a little history get in the way of your lie?

Source…


Joke Of The Day

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Jun 282010
 

A Little girl finds her dog dead with its legs in the air and asks her dad why its like that.

The dad says it died and is like that so Jesus can pick it up and take it to heaven.

The next day the little girl says “Dad mom nearly died today. She was on her back with legs in the air shouting oh Jesus I’m coming, I’m coming! If the milkman hadn’t have been holding her down we’d have lost her!”