Joke Of The Day

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Apr 302010
 

An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tags along.

When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, ” I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample.”

The old man being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells “WHAT”… “What did he say?”

His wife yelled back “HE NEEDS YOUR UNDERWEAR.”

Glenn Beck by Sarah Palin

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Apr 302010
 

God bless them both, for educating and awakening the sleeping giant.


Who’d have thought a history buff with a quirky sense of humor and a chalkboard could make for such riveting television? Glenn’s like the high school government teacher so many wish they’d had, charting and connecting ideas with chalk-dusted fingers — kicking it old school — instead of becoming just another talking-heads show host. Self-taught, he’s become America’s professor of common sense, sharing earnestly sought knowledge with an audience hungry for truth. Glenn, 46, tackles topics other news shows would regard as arcane. Consider his desire to teach Americans about the history of the progressive movement: he’s doing to progressive what Ronald Reagan did to liberal — explaining that it’s a damaged brand.

His love of the Founding Fathers inspires others to learn and respect our nation’s history. Best of all, Glenn delights in driving the self-proclaimed powers-that-be crazy. (The whole country awaits the red phone ringing!) Even his critics (whom he annihilates in ratings) have to admire his amazing ability to galvanize everyday Americans to better themselves and peacefully engage their government. Though he sometimes dismisses himself as an aw-shucks guy or just a “rodeo clown,” he’s really an inspiring patriot who was once at the bottom but now makes a much needed difference from the very, very top.

Source…


Blonde Joke Of The Day

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Apr 292010
 

The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.

Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, “It’s golf balls”.

Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, deeply thinking about what he had said.

After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked; Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?

Sarah Palin: I’m Sick & Tired of Gov. Coming Out With New Crisis to Stick it to the People

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Apr 282010
 

Amen!

“I’m sick and tired of Obama and the White House coming out with yet another new crisis that has to be fixed by government sticking it to the people and taking more of what we earn and produce. Instead of allowing our small businesses especially to keep what we earn… But see, to many in the White House including our own president, I don’t know when they’ve run a business. I don’t know when they’ve been a CEO where they had to look out for the bottom line and they had to make payroll and live within their own means with a budget. They’re from government. They’re community organizers. They’ve been spending other people’s money for so long that the free enterprise principles that all of us believe in, it’s all foreign to them.“ ~ Sarah Palin

Can You Guess It?

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Apr 282010
 

How fast can you guess these words?

1. BOO_S

2. _ _NDOM

3. F_CK

4. P_N_S

5. PU_S_

6. S_X

To find out the answers look below

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.

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.

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Guess what you got all of them wrong…. didn’t you?

The answers are:

1. BOOKS
2. RANDOM
3. FORK
4. PANTS
5. PULSE
6. SIX

Joke Of The Day

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Apr 282010
 

A U.S. Marine squad was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist who was badly injured and unconscious.

On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state. The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened.

The Marine reported, “I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent.

We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road..
I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable, lowlife scum bag who got what he deserved.

And he yelled back that Barack Obama is a lying, good-for-nothing, left wing Commie who isn’t even an American.

So I said that Osama Bin Laden dresses and acts like a frigid, mean-spirited lesbian!

He retaliated by yelling, “Oh yeah? Well, so does Nancy Pelosi!”

“And, there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when a truck hit us.”