First of all, Katie Couric is the last person in the world that ought to be talking about “qualifications”!
Watch Katie’s eyes “blink” multiple times in rapid succession after John McCain says, “This is not the first time that I’ve seen a Governor being questioned by some quote, ‘expert.’ I remember that Ronald Reagan was a ‘cowboy’…”
A new supermarket opened near my house. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay.
In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread & cookies.
I don’t buy toilet paper there any more.
While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
“Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”
“No problem, just let me in,” says the man. “Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”
“Really, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,” says the senator.
“I’m sorry, but we have our rules.”
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises…
The elevator goes up, and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
“Now it’s time to visit heaven.”
So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
“Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.”
The senator reflects for a minute, and then he answers: “Well, I would never have said it before; I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.”
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder “I don’t understand,” stammers the senator. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?”
The devil looks at him, smiles and says, “Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted.”
This video, of a house committee hearing, is from 2004. This clip should be circulated around the world so that voters FINALLY WAKE UP and see exactly who contributed to this economic disaster.
Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin takes her cheesesteak with Cheese Whiz and onions.
The Republican vice presidential candidate made a brief campaign stop at Tony Luke’s steak shop in South Philadelphia on Saturday evening. Wearing jeans and a beige raincoat, Palin greeted curious
onlookers, signed autographs and posed for pictures before ordering two steaks to go.
“Sarah, your steak is ready,” a cashier said over the loudspeaker a few minutes after she ordered.
As dozens of onlookers crowded around her, Palin headed back to the window to pick up the order. The cashier told her the order was on the house, so Palin tossed her cash into a donation jar outside
the window. A smiling Palin signed autographs on scraps of paper at the window while she waited.
“Thank you so much for letting me stop in,” she said before picking up the bags and heading back to her SUV with 14-year-old daughter Willow at her side.
Ordering cheesesteaks at a Philadelphia steak shop is a longtime tradition in the City of Brotherly Love, where the sandwich is a cultural icon.
Palin said she thinks Arizona Sen. John McCain was “awesome” and “absolutely on his game” in Friday night’s presidential debate with Democratic Sen. Barack Obama. Both candidates have been
campaigning heavily in Pennsylvania, expected to be a key battleground in the November election.
One undecided voter at Saturday’s stop said she was charmed after a brief talk with Palin, and more inclined to vote for McCain. Shannon Sampere, 24, of Newark, Del., said she and Palin talked about good bakeries in the area, adding that she found her to be very down to earth.
“She’s a very genuine person,” Sampere said.
The cashier told her the order was on the house, so Palin tossed her cash into a donation jar outside the window.
Would Hillary do that?
Remember this… John Kerry demonstrates how not to eat a cheesesteak.
If Sen. John F. Kerry’s presidential aspirations melt like a dollop of Cheez Whiz in the sun, the trouble may well be traced to an incident in South Philadelphia on Monday.
There, the Massachusetts Democrat went to Pat’s Steaks and ordered a cheesesteak — with Swiss cheese. If that weren’t bad enough, the candidate asked photographers not to take his picture while he ate the sandwich; shutters clicked anyway, and Kerry was caught nibbling daintily at his sandwich — another serious faux pas.
“It will doom his candidacy in Philadelphia,” predicted Craig LaBan, food critic for the Philadelphia Inquirer, which broke the Sandwich Scandal. After all, Philly cheesesteaks come with Cheez Whiz, or occasionally American or provolone. But Swiss cheese? “In Philadelphia, that’s an alternative lifestyle,” LaBan explained.
Bud Light® Real Men Genius Mr Philly Cheese Steak Maker 2007.
Paul Newman died Friday at age 83. In memory of a great actor and a great man, I want to post this quote and this video from my favorite Newman movie, Cool Hand Luke.
He was smiling… That’s right. You know, that, that Luke smile of his. He had it on his face right to the very end. Hell, if they didn’t know it ‘fore, they could tell right then that they weren’t a-gonna beat him. That old Luke smile. Oh, Luke. He was some boy. Cool Hand Luke. Hell, he’s a natural-born world-shaker. ~ Dragline
Nobody can eat 50 eggs!
This is a good video that you should see if you want to understand what caused this current financial crisis. It is kind of like the “Economic Crisis for Dummies”.
Pass it on!
I came across this on the Internet. It is not my plan, but it should be considered as a viable solution to restarting the American economy. Whoever created it deserves all the credit.
I’m against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG.
Instead, I’m in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a We Deserve It Dividend.
To make the math simple, let’s assume there are 200,000,000 bonafide U.S. Citizens 18+.
Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up..
So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billion that equals $425,000.00.
My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a We Deserve It Dividend.
Of course, it would NOT be tax free.
So let’s assume a tax rate of 30%.
Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes.
That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam.
But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket.
A husband and wife has $595,000.00.
What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?
Pay off your mortgage – housing crisis solved.
Repay college loans – what a great boost to new grads
Put away money for college – it’ll be there
Save in a bank – create money to loan to entrepreneurs.
Buy a new car – create jobs
Invest in the market – capital drives growth
Pay for your parent’s medical insurance – health care improves
Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean – or else
Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company that is cutting back. And of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces.
If we’re going to re-distribute wealth let’s really do it…instead of trickling out a puny $1000.00 ( “vote buy” ) economic incentive that is being proposed by one of our candidates for President.
If we’re going to do an $85 billion bailout, let’s bail out every adult U S Citizen 18+!
As for AIG – liquidate it.
Sell off its parts.
Let American General go back to being American General.
Sell off the real estate.
Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.
Here’s my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn’t.
Sure it’s a crazy idea that can “never work.”
But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party!
How do you spell Economic Boom?
I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion
We Deserve It Dividend more than I do the geniuses at AIG or in Washington DC .
And remember, this plan only really costs $59.5 Billion because $25.5 Billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.
Now this is a plan I can support.
It’s that time of year to take our Annual Dementia Test.
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles.
As we grow older, it’s important to keep mentally alert. If you don’t use
it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss
Take the test presented here to determine if you’re losing it or
not. The spaces below are so you don’t see the answers until you’ve made
OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.
1. What do you put in a toaster?
Answer: “bread.” If you said “toast,” give up now and do something
else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.
2. Say “silk” five times. Now spell “silk.” What do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said “milk,” don’t attempt the
next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content
yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World.
However, if you said “water”, proceed to question 3.
3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made
from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house
is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?
Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said “green
bricks,” why the hell are you still reading these??? If you said “glass,”
go on to Question 4.
4. It’s twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over
Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided
into West Germany and East Germany.) Anyway, during the flight, two engines
fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing,
decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before
he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of “no man’s
land” between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the
survivors? East Germany, West Germany, or no man’s land”?
Answer: You don’t bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you’re
a dunce and you must stop. If you said, “You don’t bury survivors”, proceed
to the next question.
5. Without using a calculator – You are driving a bus from London to
Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading,
six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people
get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get
on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on . In
Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford
Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?
Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don’t you remember your own name?
It was YOU!!
Now pass this link along to all your friends and pray they do better than you.
He asked, “What are all those clocks?”
St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock.
Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move.”
“Oh,” said the man, “whose clock is that?”
“That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.”
“Incredible,” said the man. “And whose clock is that one?”
St. Peter responded, “That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.”
“Where’s Barack Obama’s clock?” asked the man.
“Obama’s clock is in Jesus’ office.
He’s using it as a ceiling fan.”