Angry Bill Clinton Says Barack Earbama Must ‘Kiss My Ass’ For His Support


Unity my arse! This just gets better by the day. The Clintons were brought down by a vast left wing conspiracy. The left found someone more loony than the Clintons are and threw them out faster than Michael Moore goes through a bucket of chicken!

Bill Clinton says Barack Obama must ‘kiss my ass’ for his support


Bill Clinton is so bitter about Barack Obama’s victory over his wife Hillary that he has told friends the Democratic nominee will have to beg for his wholehearted support.

Mr Obama is expected to speak to Mr Clinton for the first time since he won the nomination in the next few days, but campaign insiders say that the former president’s future campaign role is a “sticking point” in peace talks with Mrs Clinton’s aides.

The Telegraph has learned that the former president’s rage is still so great that even loyal allies are shocked by his patronising attitude to Mr Obama, and believe that he risks damaging his own reputation by his intransigence.

A senior Democrat who worked for Mr Clinton has revealed that he recently told friends Mr Obama could “kiss my ass” in return for his support.

A second source said that the former president has kept his distance because he still does not believe Mr Obama can win the election.

Mr Clinton last week issued a tepid statement, through a spokesman, in which he said he “is obviously committed to doing whatever he can and is asked to do to ensure Senator Obama is the next president of the United States “.

Mr Obama was more effusive at his unity event with Mrs Clinton on Friday, speaking fondly of the absent former president, who attended Nelson Mandela’s birthday celebrations in London instead. The candidate told the crowd: “I know how much we need both Bill and Hillary Clinton as a party. They have done so much great work. We need them badly.”

But his aides said he has so far concentrated on cementing relations with Mrs Clinton first. They say they are content to let relations with Mr Clinton thaw gradually.

It has long been known that Mr Clinton is angry at the way his own reputation was tarnished during the primary battle when several of his comments were interpreted as racist.

But his lingering fury has shocked his friends. The Democrat told the Telegraph: “He’s been angry for a while. But everyone thought he would get over it. He hasn’t. I’ve spoken to a couple of people who he’s been in contact with and he is mad as hell.

“He’s saying he’s not going to reach out, that Obama has to come to him. One person told me that Bill said Obama would have to quote kiss my ass close quote, if he wants his support.

“You can’t talk like that about Obama – he’s the nominee of your party, not some house boy you can order around.

“Hillary’s just getting on with it and so should Bill.”

Another Democrat said that despite polls showing Mr Obama with a healthy lead over Republican John McCain, Mr Clinton doesn’t think he can win.

The party strategist, who was allied to one of the early rivals to Mr Obama and the former First Lady, said Mr Clinton was “very unhopeful” about the nominee’s prospects in November.

“Bill Clinton knows the party will unite behind Obama, but he is telling people he doesn’t believe Obama can win round voting groups, especially working-class whites, in the swing states,” the strategist said.

“He just doesn’t think Obama will be able to connect with the voters he needs.”

Joe Klein, the author of Primary Colours, a fictionalised account of Mr Clinton’s 1992 election, who has known the former president for 20 years, said he also heard that he was “very, very bitter”, from people who have spoken with him.

“It’s time for him to get over it or go off and do his charitable work. He knows the rules of the road. What’s going on now is kind of strange. I think his behaviour is really, really shocking.”


Giant Octopus vs Shark

This National Geographic video is amazing.

Putting sharks and octopuses in the same cramped quarters of an aquarium tank might seem like a bad idea. Sharks are voracious eaters and the large fish have been known to munch on the occasional octopus.

Luckily for the giant Pacific octopus in this tank, it’s not only equipped with serious camouflage and the ability to squeeze into tight crevices, it also has a few surprises up its tentacles.

Watch footage of the octopus’s battle with a spiny dogfish shark, and discover the culprit behind one aquarium’s unusual murder mystery.


Useless Facts

I don’t know how many of these are true because I have sneezed with my eyes open just to see if it could be done. The list is amusing never the less.


The average chocolate bar has 8 insect legs in it.

A rhinoceros horn is made of compacted hair.

The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896.

Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.

A polar bear’s skin is black. Its fur is not white, but actually clear.

Elvis had a twin brother named Garon, who died at birth, which is why

Elvis’ middle name was spelled Aron; in honor of his brother.

Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.

Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn’t wear pants.

More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.

Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

Shakespeare invented the word “assassination” and “bump”.

If you keep a goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed people do.

The sentence “the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” uses every letter in the English language.

Typewriter is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.

If the population of China walked past you single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

A snail can sleep for three years.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

The longest word in the English language in 1909 letters long and it refers to a distinct part of DNA.

If Barbie were life-size her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall and have a neck twice the length of a normal human’s neck.

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

No word in the English language rhymes with month.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.

The most common name in the world in Mohammed.

Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months, and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

You can’t kill yourself by holding your breath.

Americans eat an average of 18 acres of pizza every day.

Every time you lick a stamp, you’re consuming 1/10 of a calorie.

You are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.

The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

Polar bears are left handed.

The catfish is the animal with the most taste buds – 27,000.

A cockroach will live 9 days without its head before it starves to death.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.

Starfish don’t have brains.

The human heart creates enough pressure to squirt blood 30 feet.

A pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

On average people fear spiders more than they do death.

In ancient Egypt, Priests plucked every hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, and can pull 30 times its own weight.

The flea can jump 350 times its body length…it’s like a human jumping the length of a football field.

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body.

The female initiates sex by ripping the male’s head off. (“Honey, I’m home. What the….”)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

A cat’s urine glows under a blacklight.

Marilyn Monroe had six toes.

The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.

In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don’t appear until the child reaches 2-6 years of age.

The first toilet ever seen on television was on “Leave it to Beaver”.

In the great fire of London in 1666, half of London was burnt down but only 6 people were injured.

The name Wendy was made up for the book “Peter Pan”.

Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

Alfred Hitchcock didn’t have a bellybutton.

A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 yrs.

People Do Not get sick from cold weather; it’s from being indoors a lot more.

When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop even your heart!

Only 7% of the population are lefties.

40 people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute…

The average person over fifty will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.

The toothbrush was invented in 1498.

The average housefly lives for one month.

40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.

A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.

The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.

Eating breakfast cereals like “Fruity Pebbles” and “Cap’n Crunch” will cause your stools to come out green.

Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than the rest of the day.

About 20% of all adults in the US have or have had a cockroach that called their inner ear canal HOME.

The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search for water.

Among the music catalogs that Michael Jackson owns the rights to is the South Carolina State anthem.

If all the veins in your body were laid end-to-end, you’d be dead.

In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.

Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane just in case there is a crash.

The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburetor.

Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth.

Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana.

If coloring weren’t added to Coca-Cola it would be green.


Ponderisms: Part Two

Here is another list of things to ponder if you’re tired of wondering why the greatest country in the world is dependant on dictators and people that hate us for our energy needs.


Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are they called apartments, when they’re all stuck together?

Why are they called buildings, when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called “builts”?

When you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?

Could someone ever get addicted to counseling? If so, how could you treat them?

How does a shelf salesman keep his store from looking empty?

If the plural of tooth is “teeth,” why isn’t the plural of booth “beeth”?

How many people thought of the Post-It note before it was invented but just didn’t have anything to jot it down on?

Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

When an agnostic dies, does he go to the “great perhaps”?

Why are there interstates in Hawaii?

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages when it’s just stale bread to begin with?

If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

Why do we recite at a play and play at a recital?

Why do we wait until a pig is dead to “cure” it?

Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn’t they be wearing nightgowns?

Why don’t they call moustaches “mouthbrows”?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?

Why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up a project, I end it?

Why isn’t “phonetic” spelled the way it sounds?

Why do “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

When they ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

Shouldn’t there be a shorter word for “monosyllabic”?

What’s another word for “thesaurus”?

Why do skydivers wear helmets?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

What’s the speed of dark?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all”?


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