Funny Chinese Proverbs

Here are some great Chinese proverbs for a parallel and humorous point of view.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who run in front of car get tired.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who fish in other man’s well often catch crabs.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Joke Of The Day

Not that I’m dying but I can kind of relate to this joke.

“An elderly Polish man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of his impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite pierogies with fried onions wafting up the stairs.

He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed.
Gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.

Downstairs, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen where spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were hundreds of his favorite pierogies.

Was he in heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his wife of 60 years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
He threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a cramped posture. His parched lips parted and the wondrous taste of the Pierogi was already in his mouth.
With a trembling hand he reached up to the edge of the table when suddenly he was smacked with a wooden spoon by his wife.

Back off! she said. Those are for the funeral.”

How To Tell If You’re An EXTREME Redneck


You’re An EXTREME Redneck When…

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in
front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending
on how much gas is in it.

3. You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is “out of your league” bowls on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, “Hey guys, watch this.”

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife’s hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the “Star-Spangled Banner” are: “Gentlemen, start your engines.”

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your
spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the
House of Tattoos.

16. You can’t get married to your sweetheart because there’s a law against
it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

Martina McBride Performs “God Bless America”

This just may be the best version of “God Bless America” ever performed anywhere.

This weekend’s entertainment: Martina McBride singing “God Bless America” at the 2002 Rose Bowl Parade. If you don’t feel a sense of pride after watching this, you better find another country to live in.

New Speed Racer Theme Song

For all of the Speed Racer fans, Warner Brothers has released the official music video for the newly revamped version of the “Go Speed Racer Go” theme song as performed by Ali Dee and the Deekompressors. In my opinion, it does the cartoon version justice.

Load More