Cher Admits To Fling With Tom Cruise

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Apr 292008

Get ready for your high octane dose of CRAZY!

Cher reveals affair with Tom Cruise

Re-living the love … Cher and Tom Cruise meet up at the 2008 Entertainment Industry Foundation’s “Love Rocks” Concert / file

CHER has spoken frankly about how she was once “crazy” for Tom Cruise.
The singer had a brief relationship with the actor, 16 years her junior, at the start of his career.

Only now, as she publicises an upcoming run of shows in Las Vegas, has her version of events emerged.

Reflecting on their affair, she said it could have been a “great big romance” if they hadn’t been forced apart by their filming schedules.

They are thought to have met at a White House fund-raising event in the mid-eighties when he was basking in the success of his hit film Risky Business.

Cher, 39 at the time, is said to have been smitten almost immediately with the 23-year-old.

While Cruise’s career was very much in its ascendancy, she had by that time been a star for almost two decades.

Cher, 61, told Oprah Winfrey: “I was crazy about him.”

In the show, to be seen on US television next month, she spoke of Cruise, now 45, as an awkward young man who was struggling to adjust to his new life.

“He was shy,” she said. “He said he felt like such a boob in school and nobody talked to him. We went on a date once for dinner in a New York restaurant and the waitress was from his old school.
“He told me she never talked to him back in school, but now he was recognised he got all her attention.

“It could have been a great big romance because I was crazy for him.”

As she recounted her time with the actor, the audience burst into a frenzy of cheering and whooping, especially when she spoke of one particularly “long night” in his arms.

The couple are thought to have dated for several months.

Their affair is understood to have ended when Cruise met Mimi Rogers, six years his senior, who was to become his first wife. He separated from Miss Rogers after three years in 1990.

He went on to marry Australian actress Nicole Kidman the same year and remained with her for 11 years until 2001.

He married third wife Katie Holmes in 2006. The couple have a two year-old daughter, Suri.

Beer Wisdom

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Apr 292008

  • You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline – it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
    –Frank Zappa
  • Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
    –Ernest Hemmingway
  • Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
    –Winston Churchill
  • He was a wise man who invented beer.
  • Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time.
    –Catherine Zandonella
  • A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
    –W.C. Fields
  • Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
    –Lady Astor to Winston Churchill;
    –His reply, Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
    –Lady Astor to Winston Churchill; Sir, you’re drunk!
    –Winston Churchill to Lady Astor; Yes, Madam, and you’re ugly. But in the morning, I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
  • If God had not intended us to drink beer, He would not have given us stomachs.
    –David Daye
  • Work is the curse of the drinking class.
    –Oscar Wilde
  • When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
    –Henny Youngman
  • Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
    –Benjamin Franklin
  • If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
    –Deep Thought, Jack Handy
  • Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
    –Dave Barry
  • The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
    –Humphrey Bogart
  • Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
    –David Moulton (No more warm beer for Teddy)
  • People who drink light “beer” don’t like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.
    –Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
  • Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
    –Kaiser Wilhelm
  • I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
    –Homer Simpson
  • Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
    –Dave Barry
  • I drink to make other people interesting.
    –George Jean Nathan
  • They who drink beer will think beer.
    –Washington Irving
  • An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with fools.
    –For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway
  • You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
    –Dean Martin
  • All right, brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like me – so let’s just do this and I’ll get back to killing you with beer.
    –Homer Simpson
  • I swear, I will never drink again….
    –Half the population of the planet earth as they cling to the spinning bed or the porcelain god…
  • Bartender.. I’ll take another….
    –Same people next friday

Danica Patrick Eyes Formula One Future

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Apr 292008

Danica PatrickIf Danica can be consistently competitive in IndyCar and contend for the title I see no reason why she shouldn’t get a shot at Formula One or at least GP2. But let’s be realistic. In the real world she has done nothing to prove her ability to drive a Formula One car. I’m not saying that she’s not good but let’s face facts, not many of the present day Champ Car or IRL drivers could make that jump, especially one that has no wins or very few.

Danica ‘dead set’ on move to F1

IndyCar’s latest new winner Danica Patrick has dismissed criticism from a former world champion that she is not good enough for Formula 1, by insisting she is ‘dead set’ on making the move into the top flight in the future.

Whilst three-time title-winner Nelson Piquet suggested the IndyCar Series was an inadequate training ground for someone wishing to switch across to grand prix racing [see separate story – click here], Patrick herself has hinted that it is something she is seriously considering – after she fights for the IndyCar title, that is.

The 26-year-old from Wisconsin became the first female to emerge victorious in a premier open-wheel race when she triumphed at Motegi in Japan a week ago, but she admitted in an interview with British newspaper the Daily Star that her heart had been set on F1 from an early age, right back to when she competed in the UK at the tender age of 16. During that period she went on to finish runner-up in the prestigious Formula Ford Festival – the best result ever achieved by either an American or a woman in the high-profile event.

“During my three years in England, I followed Formula 1 closely and became dead set on racing in it,” confessed Patrick, currently competing for Honda-powered Andretti Green Racing across the Pond. “F1 is regarded as the highest level of racing with the best drivers in the world, and it’s very flattering to have that as an opportunity.

“First I want to contend for the IndyCar championship, though, and then we’ll see what opportunities arise.”

Scuderia Toro Rosso ace Sebastian Vettel, meanwhile, dismissed suggestions from some drivers – amongst them Jenson Button – that women would not be physically strong enough to race in F1.

“Well, I’m not exactly a bear!” the young German joked.

Honda star Button had previously joked in an interview with men’s magazine FHM that “a girl with big boobs would never be comfortable in the car, and the mechanics wouldn’t concentrate. Can you imagine strapping her in? You wouldn’t want to be on the circuit with them, would you?”

The last woman to enter the top flight was Giovanna Amati, who attempted to qualify three times for Brabham back in 1992 before being replaced at the ailing British outfit by Damon Hill.

The Cost Of Other Items Compared with Gasoline

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Apr 292008

Here is a little humor to help ease the pain of your next trip to the gas station.

I’m just trying to find something funny in the absurdity of it all. Keep in mind that all of these examples do NOT imply that gasoline is cheap; they just illustrate how outrageous some prices are.

You will be really shocked by the last one!
(At least, I was…)

Compared with Gasoline…

Diet Snapple 16 oz $1.29 … $10.32 per gallon

Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz $1.19 …$9.52 per gallon

Gatorade 20 oz $1.59 … $10.17 per gallon

Ocean Spray 16 oz $1.25 … $10.00 per gallon

Brake Fluid 12 oz $3.15 … $33.60 per gallon

Vick’s Nyquil 6 oz $8.35 … $178.13 per gallon

Pepto Bismol 4 oz $3.85 .. $123.20 per gallon

Whiteout 7 oz $1.39 … . $25.42 per gallon

Scope 1.5 oz $0.99 …$84.48 per gallon
And this is the REAL KICKER…

Evian water 9 oz $1.49..$21.19 per gallon! $21.19 for WATER and the buyers don’t even know the source

(Evian spelled backwards is Naive.)

Ever wonder why printers are so cheap?
So they have you hooked for the ink.
Someone calculated the cost of the ink at…
(you won’t believe it…but it is true…)
$5,200 a gal. (five thousand two hundred dollars)

So, the next time you’re at the pump,be glad your car doesn’t run on water, Scope, or Whiteout, Pepto Bismol, Nyquil or God forbid, Printer Ink!

Just a little humor to help ease the pain of your next trip to the pump…

“Green Gasoline” Biofuel Breakthrough

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Apr 272008

If this is true, it would surely stop rising food and fuel prices. But sadly, it will get buried by environmentalists and our corrupt political system.

This Ethanol fiasco has shown us one thing; we should eat our vegetables, and not burn them for fuel. Now is the time to open ANWR and the other drilling opportunities being held hostage by environmentalists and special interest lobby monies. We should build new refineries and end this moronic crap before corrupt Politicians put an end to the greatest country God has ever created.

Researchers Create “Green Gasoline” Ethanol Killer From Biomass

Researchers have made a breakthrough in the development of “green gasoline,” a liquid identical to standard gasoline in energy contant yet created from sustainable biomass sources like switchgrass and poplar trees. The discovery could transform the renewable fuel economy by eliminating the need to grow corn for ethanol and rescue America from importing expensive and dwindling foreign oil supplies.

Reporting in the cover article of the April 7, 2008 issue of Chemistry & Sustainability, Energy & Materials (ChemSusChem), chemical engineer and National Science Foundation (NSF) CAREER awardee George Huber of the University of Massachusetts-Amherst (UMass) and his graduate students Torren Carlson and Tushar Vispute announced the first direct conversion of plant cellulose into gasoline components.

In the same issue, James Dumesic and colleagues from the University of Wisconsin-Madison announce an integrated process for creating chemical components of jet fuel using a green gasoline approach. While Dumesic’s group had previously demonstrated the production of jet-fuel components using separate steps, their current work shows that the steps can be integrated and run sequentially, without complex separation and purification processes between reactors.

“It is likely that the future consumer will not even know that they are putting biofuels into their car,” said Huber. “Biofuels in the future will most likely be similar in chemical composition to gasoline and diesel fuel used today. The challenge for chemical engineers is to efficiently produce liquid fuels from biomass while fitting into the existing infrastructure today.”

For their new approach, the UMass researchers rapidly heated cellulose in the presence of solid catalysts, materials that speed up reactions without sacrificing themselves in the process. They then rapidly cooled the products to create a liquid that contains many of the compounds found in gasoline.

The entire process was completed in under two minutes using relatively moderate amounts of heat. The compounds that formed in that single step, like naphthalene and toluene, make up one fourth of the suite of chemicals found in gasoline. The liquid can be further treated to form the remaining fuel components or can be used “as is” for a high octane gasoline blend.

“Green gasoline is an attractive alternative to bioethanol since it can be used in existing engines and does not incur the 30 percent gas mileage penalty of ethanol-based flex fuel,” said John Regalbuto, who directs the Catalysis and Biocatalysis Program at NSF and supported this research.

“In theory it requires much less energy to make than ethanol, giving it a smaller carbon footprint and making it cheaper to produce,” Regalbuto said. “Making it from cellulose sources such as switchgrass or poplar trees grown as energy crops, or forest or agricultural residues such as wood chips or corn stover, solves the lifecycle greenhouse gas problem that has recently surfaced with corn ethanol and soy biodiesel.”

Beyond academic laboratories, both small businesses and Fortune 500 petroleum refiners are pursuing green gasoline. Companies are designing ways to hybridize their existing refineries to enable petroleum products including fuels, textiles, and plastics to be made from either crude oil or biomass and the military community has shown strong interest in making jet fuel and diesel from the same sources.

“Huber’s new process for the direct conversion of cellulose to gasoline aromatics is at the leading edge of the new “Green Gasoline” alternate energy paradigm that NSF, along with other federal agencies, is helping to promote,” states Regalbuto.

Not only is the method a compact way to treat a great deal of biomass in a short time, Regalbuto emphasized that the process, in principle, does not require any external energy. “In fact, from the extra heat that will be released, you can generate electricity in addition to the biofuel,” he said. “There will not be just a small carbon footprint for the process; by recovering heat and generating electricity, there won’t be any footprint.”

The latest pathways to produce green gasoline, green diesel and green jet fuel are found in a report sponsored by NSF, the Department of Energy and the American Chemical Society entitled “Breaking the Chemical and Engineering Barriers to Lignocellulosic Biofuels: Next Generation Hydrocarbon Biorefineries” released April 1 ( In the report, Huber and a host of leaders from academia, industry and government present a plan for making green gasoline a practical solution for the impending fuel crisis.

“We are currently working on understanding the chemistry of this process and designing new catalysts and reactors for this single step technique. This fundamental chemical understanding will allow us to design more efficient processes that will accelerate the commercialization of green gasoline,” Huber said.

200 Billion Barrels Of Oil That Could Make The U.S. Energy Independent
Democrats Put Big Oil on Display Once Again
Corn Prices Jump to Record $6 a Bushel, Driving Up Costs for Food#links

Funny Chinese Proverbs

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Apr 272008

Here are some great Chinese proverbs for a parallel and humorous point of view.


Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.


Man who run in front of car get tired.


Man who run behind car get exhausted.


Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.


Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.


Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok


Man with one chopstick go hungry.


Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.


Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.


Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.


War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.


Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.


Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.


It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.


Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.


Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.


Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.


Man who fish in other man’s well often catch crabs.


Man who fart in church sit in own pew.


Crowded elevator smell different to midget.


Joke Of The Day

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Apr 262008

Not that I’m dying but I can kind of relate to this joke.

“An elderly Polish man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of his impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite pierogies with fried onions wafting up the stairs.

He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed.
Gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.

Downstairs, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen where spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were hundreds of his favorite pierogies.

Was he in heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his wife of 60 years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
He threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a cramped posture. His parched lips parted and the wondrous taste of the Pierogi was already in his mouth.
With a trembling hand he reached up to the edge of the table when suddenly he was smacked with a wooden spoon by his wife.

Back off! she said. Those are for the funeral.”

How To Tell If You’re An EXTREME Redneck

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Apr 262008

You’re An EXTREME Redneck When…

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in
front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending
on how much gas is in it.

3. You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is “out of your league” bowls on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, “Hey guys, watch this.”

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife’s hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the “Star-Spangled Banner” are: “Gentlemen, start your engines.”

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the
House of Tattoos.

16. You can’t get married to your sweetheart because there’s a law against

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

Martina McBride Performs “God Bless America”

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Apr 262008

This just may be the best version of “God Bless America” ever performed anywhere.

This weekend’s entertainment: Martina McBride singing “God Bless America” at the 2002 Rose Bowl Parade. If you don’t feel a sense of pride after watching this, you better find another country to live in.

New Speed Racer Theme Song

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Apr 262008

For all of the Speed Racer fans, Warner Brothers has released the official music video for the newly revamped version of the “Go Speed Racer Go” theme song as performed by Ali Dee and the Deekompressors. In my opinion, it does the cartoon version justice.

‘The Daily Show’ Examines The Global Food Crisis

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Apr 262008

All I can say is thank God we live in America. With global food shortages causing riots in East Africa, West Africa, Egypt, and elsewhere around the globe, we Americans feel the effects in the form of Sam’s Club and Costco’s restriction on how many bags of rice we can buy.

The Daily Show puts the global food shortage crisis in perspective with this hysterical skit.

The Pentagon Announces New Elite Fighting Unit

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Apr 242008

The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF)

These boys will be dropped off in Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists :

1.The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don’t like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt

The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.

Prepare For The New Ice Age, Global Warming Is Over

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Apr 232008

Hurry somebody tell the inventor of the Internet, Al Gore, that the ice age cometh and he should have stayed in politics. And while you’re at it, ask him for a refund on your Carbon Credits.

Yes it seems that Carbon emissions are no longer a problem and we may want to do something to produce more. Now is the time for everyone to encourage global warming. So turn on all your lights, trade in that Hybrid for a Hummer and cut down all the trees that you can to start a massive bon fire cause the Ice Age is coming and it must be stopped. Maybe some politician somewhere can tax it away.

Forget global warming, prepare for Ice Age

SUNSPOT activity has not resumed up after hitting an 11-year low in March last year, raising fears that – far from warming – the globe is about to return to an Ice Age.

Astronaut and geophysicist Phil Chapman, the first Australian to become an astronaut with NASA, said pictures from the US Solar and Heliospheric Observatory showed no spots on the sun.

He said the world cooled quickly between January last year and January this year, by about 0.7C.

“This is the fastest temperature change in the instrumental record, and it puts us back to where we were in 1930,” Dr Chapman writes in The Australian today.

“If the temperature does not soon recover, we will have to conclude that global warming is over.”

The Bureau of Meteorology says temperatures in Australia have been warmer than the 1960-90 average since the late 1970s, barring a couple of cooler years, and are now 0.3C higher than the long-term average.

A sunspot is a region on the sun that is cooler than the rest and appears dark.

Some scientists believe a strong solar magnetic field, when there is plenty of sunspot activity, protects the earth from cosmic rays, cutting cloud formation, but that when the field is weak – during low sunspot activity – the rays can penetrate into the lower atmosphere and cloud cover increases, cooling the surface.

But scientists from the US National Centre for Atmospheric Research in Bolder, Colorado published a report in 2006 that showed the sun had a negligible effect on climate change.

The researchers wrote in the journal Nature that the sun’s brightness varied by only 0.07per cent over 11-year sunspot cycles, and that that was far too little to account for the rise in temperatures since the Industrial Revolution.

Dr Chapman proposes preventive, or delaying, moves to slow the cooling, such as bulldozing Siberian and Canadian snow to make it dirty and less reflective. “

My guess is that the odds are now at least 50:50 that we will see significant cooling rather than warming in coming decades,” he writes.

Barack Obama Gets Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s Coveted Endorsement

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Apr 232008

Who does Mahmoud Ahmadinejad endorse for our next President? Why of course it would have to be the next Jimmy Carter. Although Iran said that it does not back any of the US presidential candidates, Ahmadinejad’s choice is clear.

Earlier in March, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad told the Spanish El Pais newspaper that the real circles of power in America would not allow Senator Barack Obama to enter the White House, adding that he would have no problems if the junior senator from Illinois were to be elected.