Agenda Leaked For The 2008 Democratic National Convention

An unnamed high ranking source from inside the DNC has leaked the agenda of the 2008 Democratic National Convention to us here at Evaluation.

7:00 P.M. Opening flag burning.

7:15 P.M. Pledge of allegiance to U.N.

7:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

7:35 P.M. Nonreligious prayer and worship. Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton.

8:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:05 P.M. Ceremonial tree hugging.

8:15 P.M. Gay Wedding– Barney Frank Presiding.

8:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:35 P.M. Free Mumia Rally. Ed Asner- Mike Farrell.

9:00 P.M. Keynote speech. The proper etiquette for surrender- Former French President Jacques Chirac.

9:15 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

9:20 P.M. Collection to benefit Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund.

9:30 P.M Unveiling of plan to free freedom fighters from Guantanamo Bay – Sean Penn.

9:40 P.M. Why I hate the Military, A short talk by William Jefferson Clinton.

9:45 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

9:50 P.M. Dan Rather presented Truth in Broadcasting award, presented by Michael Moore.

9:55 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

10:00 P.M. How Bush and Rumsfeld brought down the World Trade Center Towers– Howard Dean.

10:30 P.M. Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Mahmud Ahmadinejad.

11:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

11:05 P.M. Al Gore reinvents the Internet.

11:15 P.M. Our Troops are War criminals– John Kerry.

11:30 P.M. Coronation of Mrs. Rodham Clinton

12:00 A.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

12:05 A.M. Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home