Month: December 2007

I wonder if his dad will come to the house warming party.

Bin Ladens hunting for a house

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OSAMA Bin Laden’s son could be coming to live in a street near you. Omar Bin Laden, 26, married former Calderdale resident Jane Felix-Browne, 52, earlier this year and the couple are now house-hunting.

In an exclusive interview with the Courier, Jane – now known as Zaina Muhammad – re-vealed the pair are wanting to settle in England, possibly in Calderdale.

“We’d like to set up home in England,” she said, speaking from a secret location outside Britain. “I’ve got family here and that’s where we want to be,” she said. “We might move back to Calderdale.”

Zaina used to live in Fellside, Lee Bottom Road, Todmorden. The world’s most-wanted terrorist’s son is her sixth husband.

Despite reports that Zaina was divorcing her husband because she feared they would be murdered, the couple say they are enjoying married life and want to campaign for peace.

“We want peace. We both want peace,” she said. “Omar wants to be an ambassador for peace and I’m behind him.”

They say they do not know where Osama bin Laden is. Omar talks about his father but has not spoken to him since the 2001 terrorist attacks in the US.

When she lived in Calderdale, Zaina was married to Cornholme biker John Metcalfe, but says the marriage lasted only six weeks.

She said she lived a quiet life during her time in Calderdale, while working as an interior designer at Manchester Airport.

She has suffered multiple sclerosis since she was 11 and says she raised a lot of money for charity while she lived in Britain.

Zaina claims many media reports about her since she married Omar are untrue and slammed a recent BBC documentary about the couple. She said: “They filmed about 300 hours but it was edited so much, it was unbelievable.” She added: “We’re filming another one for Al Jazeera and that will be accurate.”

Zaina – also known as Paula Joy Hanson – says her three sons and five grandchildren have met Omar and have a good relationship with him.

“One of my sons has spent a lot of time with him. They get on great,” she said.

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Dave Lindorff forgets a few things in this liberal wet dream. The red states happen to control the lion’s share of America’s food, weapons, fuel, and real estate. The typical liberal mind-set always tends to exclude vital elements from the equation.

Here is another thing for this cat loving girly man to consider, I hear Liberals taste just like chicken. In the event of societal collapse and mass hysteria I would not want to be a tofu-eating, tree-hugging, sissy.

This commentary is evidence that Mr. Lindorff isn’t in the 38% of Democrats that report having excellent mental health.

Global Warming Will Save America from the Right…Eventually

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Say what you will about the looming catastrophe facing the world as the pace of global heating and polar melting accelerates. There is a silver lining.

Look at a map of the US.

The area that will by completely inundated by the rising ocean—and not in a century but in the lifetime of my two cats—are the American southeast, including the most populated area of Texas, almost all of Florida, most of Louisiana, and half of Alabama and Mississippi, as well as goodly portions of eastern Georgia, South Carolina and North Carolina. While the northeast will also see some coastal flooding, its geography is such that that aside from a few projecting sandbars like Long Island and Cape Cod, the land rises fairly quickly to well above sea level. Sure, Boston, New York and Philadelphia will be threatened, but these are geographically confined areas that could lend themselves to protection by Dutch-style dikes. The West Coast too tends to rise rapidly to well above sea level in most places. Only down in Southern California towards the San Diego area is the ground closer to sea level.

So what we see is that huge swaths of conservative America are set to face a biblical deluge in a few more presidential cycles.

Then there’s the matter of the Midwest, which climate experts say is likely to face a permanent condition of unprecedented drought, making the place largely unlivable, and certainly unfarmable. The agribusinesses and conservative farmers that have been growing corn and wheat may be able to stretch out this doomsday scenario by deep well drilling, but west of the Mississippi, the vast Ogallala Aquifer that has allowed for such irrigation is already being tapped out. It will not be replaced.

So again, we will see the decline and depopulation of the nation’s vast midsection—noted for its consistent conservatism. Only in the northernmost area, around the Great Lakes (which will be not so great anymore), and along the Canadian border, will there still be enough rain for farming and continued large population concentrations, but those regions, like Minnesota, Wisconsin and Illinois, are also more liberal in their politics.

Finally, in the Southwest, already parched and stiflingly hot, the rise in energy costs and the soaring temperatures will put an end to right-wing retirement communities like Phoenix, Tucson and Palm Springs. Already the Salton Sea is fading away and putting Palm Springs on notice that the good times are coming to an end. Another right-wing haven soon to be gone.

So the future political map of America is likely to look as different as the much shrunken geographical map, with much of the so-called “red” state region either gone or depopulated.

There is a poetic justice to this of course. It is conservatives who are giving us the candidates who steadfastly refuse to have the nation take steps that could slow the pace of climate change, so it is appropriate that they should bear the brunt of its impact.

The important thing is that we, on the higher ground both actually and figuratively, need to remember that, when they begin their historic migration from their doomed regions, we not give them the keys to the city. They certainly should be offered assistance in their time of need, but we need to keep a firm grip on our political systems, making sure that these guilty throngs who allowed the world to go to hell are gerrymandered into political impotence in their new homes.

There will be much work to be done to help the earth and its residents—human and non-human—survive this man-made catastrophe, and we can’t have these future refugee troglodytes, should their personal disasters still fail to make them recognize reality, mucking things up again.

It should be considered acceptable, in this stifling new world, to say, “Shut up. We told you this would happen.”

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I thought this was good for a laugh. This baby has the amazing ability to give the evil eye on command.

I find it hard to believe that the Secret Service has turned the life of President Bush over to Palestinian terrorists. Why would the Secret Service do such a thing? I’m not buying it.

Terrorists’ new mission: Protect President Bush

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According to Israeli security officials coordinating deployments of forces with the PA for Bush’s Ramallah visit, members of the Al Aqsa Martyrs Brigades, Fatah’s declared military wing, have been called upon by the PA to participate in the protection of Bush’s convoy and in securing the parameter during the meeting with Abbas.

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I thought that it would be fitting to close out the Holiday posts with performance by Trace Bundy. In case you don’t know who he is or have never heard of him, Trace is an instrumental acoustic guitar player who lives and performs in Boulder, Colorado. He is specially known as “The Acoustic Ninja” for his finger tapping skills.