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Jul 022015
 


From Gateway Pundit:

Rep. Peter KingChairman of the Sub-Committee on Counterterrorism – spoke to Megyn Kelly night about the concerns of a terrorist attack this weekend on the 4th of July.

ISIS threatened the US with attacks on the homeland earlier this year.

King said that New York City officials are concerned about a dirty bomb attack on the 4th of July.

Rep. Peter King: You wouldn’t see the… nuclear explosion detection devices being used the way they are.

Megyn Kelly: Excuse me, did you just say nuclear?

Rep. Peter King: Yes, that’s a big concern here in New York.

 

Jul 022015
 

I have a job

I work, they pay me.

It’s a pretty good system that’s been going on for a long time.

I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit.

In order to get that paycheck, in my case, I am required to pass a random urine test (with which I have no problem).

What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don’t have to pass a urine test.

So, here’s my question: Shouldn’t one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them?

Please understand, I have no problem helping people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their butt doing drugs, while I work.

Can you imagine how much money each state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check?

I guess we could call the program “Urine or You’re Out!

Here’s another thought: Shouldn’t all politicians have to pass a urine test, too? How about passing an intelligence test, a common sense test and most importantly, an Understanding the Constitution Test!

If you agree with this, then please pass it on. If not… well… you’re probably not reading this blog any more anyway.

Some things have to change in this country… AND SOON!

 

Jul 022015
 

You're Over The Hill When1. You find yourself beginning to like accordion music.

2. You’re sitting on a park bench and a Boy Scout comes up and helps you cross your legs.

3. Lawn care has become a big highlight of your life.

4. You tune into the easy listening station…on purpose.

5. You discover that your measurements are now small, medium and large…In that order.

6. You light the candles on your birthday cake and a group of campers form a circle and start singing Cumbaya..

7. You keep repeating yourself.

8. You start video taping daytime game shows.

9. At the airport, they ask to check your bags…and you’re not carrying any luggage.

10. You wonder why you waited so long to take up macrame.

11. Your Insurance Company has started sending you their free calendar…a month at a time.

12. At cafeterias, you complain that the gelatin is too tough.

13. Your new easy chair has more options than your car.

14. When you do the “Hokey Pokey” you put your left hip out…and it stays out.

15. One of the throw pillows on your bed is a hot water bottle.

16. Conversations with people your own age often turn into “dueling ailments.”

17. You keep repeating yourself.

18. It takes a couple of tries to get over a speed bump.

19. You discover the words, “whippersnapper,” “scalawag” and “by-cracky” creeping into your vocabulary.

20. You’re on a TV game show and you decide to risk it all and go for the rocker.

21. You begin every other sentence with, “Nowadays…”

22. You run out of breath walking DOWN a flight of stairs.

23. You look both ways before crossing a room.

24. Your social security number only has three digits.

25. You keep repeating yourself.

26. You come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity.

27. You go to a Garden Party and you’re mainly interested in the garden.

28. You find your mouth making promises your body can’t keep.

29. The waiter asks how you’d like your steak…and you say “pureed.”

30. At parties you attend, “regularity” is considered the topic of choice.

 

Jul 022015
 
Rubber Chicken A woman with her own business was thriving based on her sterling reputation. When she decided she needed a lawyer to help her incorporate, she was worried that their typical reputation might stain hers, so she was carefully interviewing the available business lawyers.

“As I’m sure you can understand,” she started off with one of the first applicants, “in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question.” She leaned forward. “Mr. Peterson, are you an ‘honest’ lawyer?”

“Honest?” replied the prospect. “Let me tell you something about honest! Why, I’m so honest that my dad lent me $105,000 for my education and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case!”

“Impressive,” she said. “I think you just may have the job.”

But then she saw a suspicious twinkle in his eye.

“Just a minute,” she said. “What was your first case?”

“Well,” he said, “my dad sued me for the money.”

 

 

Jul 012015
 

Elliott Morgan, of Mental Floss, debunks 10 popular misconceptions about home appliances.

Enjoy!

You probably spent a lot of money on your home’s appliances, so you might as well get the most out of them. Here are some of the most common myths and old wives’ tales about dishwashers, refrigerators, and other appliances.

The Mental Floss YouTube channel and host Elliott Morgan are here to debunk all those things you’ve heard through the grapevine about your home appliances. Things like the fact that dishwashers use quite a bit less water than washing dishes by hand, your coffee maker needs to be cleaned regularly (because the environment is perfect for mold and germs), washing clothes in cold water is just as clean as washing in warm water, you can keep your refrigerator running more efficiently by cleaning the coils once a year, and the water leftover at the bottom of your dishwasher is actually a good thing. The more you know about your appliances, the better you can use them.

Source…

 

Jul 012015
 
Rubber Chicken A lady is throwing a party for her granddaughter, and had gone all out….. a caterer, band, and a hired clown. Just before the party started, two bums showed up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman told them that she would give them a meal if they would help chop some wood for her out back. Gratefully, they headed to the rear of the house.

The guests arrived, and all was going well with the children having a wonderful time. But the clown hadn’t shown up. After a half an hour, the clown finally called to report that he was stuck in traffic, and would probably not make the party at all.

The woman was very disappointed and unsuccessfully tried to entertain the children herself. She happened to look out the window and saw one of the bums doing cartwheels across the lawn. She watched in awe as he swung from tree branches, did midair flips, and leaped high in the air.

She spoke to the other bum and said, “What your friend is doing is absolutely marvelous. I have never seen such a thing. Do you think your friend would consider repeating this performance for the children at the party? I would pay him $100!”

The other bum says, “Well, I dunno. Let me ask him. HEY WILLIE! FOR $100, WOULD YOU CHOP OFF ANOTHER TOE?”