Summer is swiftly coming to an end. One of the ways to enjoy the last of the warm weather weekends is to take an afternoon by the lake or river and make a rope swing. Safety is paramount, and close behind is gaining maximum height and velocity. We show you how to do both. See you at the ol’ swimming hole!
Mr. Crow shouted back down, “Good Morning Mr. Turtle.”
Mr. Turtle shouted up, “Whatcha doin’ today?” and the answer shouted back down was,
“Absolutely nothin’ Mr. Turtle – Absolutely nothin’ and loving it.”
Well, that sounded pretty good to Mr. Turtle, so he shouted back up, “Do you think I could do that too?”
Mr. Crow shouted back down, “I don’t see why not!”
So, Mr. Turtle lay down on the side of the road and began Doing Absolutely Nothing.
In 30 minutes a fox came along and ate him.
The moral of the story is: You can get away with Doing Absolutely Nothing, but only if you are really high up.
“Gun Control? We don’t need no stinkin’ Gun Control!”
This is why Gun Control will never happen in the United States.
01) Beating around the bush
02) Jumping to conclusions
03) Climbing the walls
04) Swallowing your pride
05) Passing the buck
06) Throwing your weight around
07) Dragging your heels
08) Pushing your luck
09) Making mountains out of mole hills
10) Hitting the nail on the head
11) Wading through paperwork
12) Bending over backwards
13) Jumping on the bandwagon
14) Balancing the books
15) Running around in circles
16) Eating crow
17) Tooting your own horn
18) Climbing the ladder of success
19) Pulling out all the stops
20) Adding fuel to the fire
21) Opening a can of worms
22) Putting your foot in your mouth
23) Starting the ball rolling
24) Going over the edge
25) Picking up the pieces
Whew! That’s a workout! Now sit down and
26) Exercise caution.
Set up a long trough to further our understanding/ability to cook over and on (yes, on) lava.
2014 All rights reserved. Jenny Wysocki, Syracuse University Lava Project
Hey, you never know!
A snake bite does not necessarily mean an envenomed bite, injection of venom is under the snake’s control. Snakes will often (about 50% of the time) deliver a “dry bite” where venom is not injected. Should you be bitten, remain calm under all circumstances. Panic and shock are bigger killers than venom.
It has been announced that the police are going to be allowed to use water cannons on rioters. They are putting in some ‘Tide’ washing powder to stop the coloureds from running.
Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London … Police think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam.
Following the riots in Tottenham, it’s important to remind ourselves that not all black people are stereotypical liars, thieves and arsonists.
Many are drug dealers.
Riots in Birmingham last month caused over £1 million worth of improvements
Muslims have gone on the rampage in Manchester, killing anyone who’s English. Police fear the death toll could be as high as 8 or 9.
They’ve had to cancel the pantomime ‘Jack & the Beanstalk’ in Birmingham, Bristol, Oldham, Bradford, Burnley, Leicester, Manchester and London. Apparently the giant couldn’t smell any Englishmen.
Years ago it was suggested that, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.” But, since all the doctors are now Muslim, I’ve found that a bacon sandwich works great!
Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque…
They’ve told the public not to panic as they’ve managed to push it inside.
During last night’s high winds an African family was killed by a falling tree. A spokesman for the Birmingham City council said “We didn’t even know they were living up there”.
Jamaican minorities in the UK have complained that there are not enough television shows with minorities in mind, so Crimewatch is being shown 5 times a week now.
I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed. How could anyone stoop so low.
I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony, shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, “What’s up Abdul, won’t it start?”
Have you ever found yourself sitting around thinking what you would do if nuclear bombs started flying? Or maybe aliens invade or we have a Zombie apocalypse? Imagine having the ultimate bunker hidden safely beneath your home. Better yet, don’t imagine it, see the ultimate guide to just that below.