|Never have sex with a stranger unless you are stranger than them.|
|A pastor who was badly overworked went to the local medical center and was able to have a clone made. The clone was like the pastor in every respect–except that the clone used extraordinarily foul language. The cloned pastor was exceptionally gifted in many other areas of pastoral work, but finally the complaints about the dirty language were too much.
The pastor was not too sure how to get rid of the clone so that it wouldn’t look like murder. The best thing, he decided, was to make the clone’s death look like an accident. So the pastor lured the clone onto a bridge in the middle of the night and pushed the clone off the bridge.
Unfortunately there was a police officer who happened by at that very moment and arrested the pastor for making an obscene clone fall.
|A king finds a woman he wants to marry but she refuses. But since he is the king, she has to. The king gives her a deal: he will write ‘YES’ and ‘NO’ on two pieces of paper. The papers will be put into a hat and she will choose one. If it says yes she will marry him, if it says no she will not. The only problem is that the king cheats and puts two pieces of paper that say yes into the hat, but the woman is the only one who sees this.
How can the woman avoid marrying the king?
First she has to draw one of the papers and get rid of it (by eating it, throwing it, etc.). Then they will check the hat and she that the other paper says ‘YES’, so they know that she drew the paper that said ‘NO’. In this case, she doesn’t have to marry the king.
A classic video of a New Jersey racetrack announcer’s call as two horses with opposing names battled it in the final furlong.
Larry Collmus is a horse racing announcer at Monmouth Park in Oceanport, New Jersey. In 2010, he provided a running commentary to a race that included horses named Mywifeknowsevrything and Thewifedoesntknow. The result was a denial-filled marital argument in the form of a horse race.
The Telegraph (auto-start video) informs us that Mywifeknowsevrything was trained by a woman and Thewifedoesntknow was trained by a man.
My advice: just apologize anyway and bet on another horse.
Seven Shar Pei puppies fight… well… not so evil Robo Dog. Puppies are curious and cautious at first, but after a while they start playing with their new robot friend.