Apr 302017
 


A “Sugar Gliders is a small marsupial in the same general family as a Kangaroo or Koala Bear.

They are originally from the rain forests of Australia and Indonesia, and have been domestically bred as household pets in the United States for the last 12-15 years.

They got the name “Sugar Gliders” because they:

They like to eat almost anything that is sweet, especially fresh fruit & vegetables, and they have a gliding membrane (similar to a flying squirrel) that stretches from their wrist to their ankles, allowing them to glide – not fly – from tree to tree.

In the wild they primarily live in trees in “colonies” of 10-15 other Gliders. Their “scientific” name: Petaurus Breviceps, and their specific Taxonomic Classification is:

Class: Mammalia
Infraclass: Marsupialia
Order: Diprotodontia
Suborder: Phalangerida
Family: Petauridae
Genus: Petaurus
Species: P. Breviceps

 
 

Apr 302017
 

A good-looking man walked into an agent’s office in Hollywood and said, “I want to be a movie star.”
Tall, handsome, and with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials. The agent asked, “What’s your name?”

The guy said, “My name is Penis van Lesbian.”

The agent said, “Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into Hollywood, you are going to have to change your name.”

“I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old, I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever.”

The agent said, “Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years… you will NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I’m telling you, you will HAVE to change your name or I will not be able to represent you.”

“So be it! I guess we will not do business together,” the guy said and he left the agent’s office.

FIVE YEARS LATER….. The agent opens an envelope sent to his office. Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000. The agent is awe-struck, who would possibly send him $50,000?

He reads the letter enclosed:

Dear Sir,
Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in Hollywood; you told me I needed to change my name. You told me I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian.

Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused.

After I left your office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to change my name.

I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with another agent. I would never have made it without changing my name, so the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation.

Thank you for your advice.
Sincerely,
Dick Van Dyke

Penis van Lesbian
 

Apr 302017
 
Joke Of The Day: Older Person Friendly Policy Charley, a new retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn’t seem to get to work on time.

Every day, he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp-minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their “Older Person Friendly” policies.

One day the boss called him into the office for a talk. “Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang-up job when you finally get here; but your being late so often is quite bothersome.”

“Yes, I know boss and I am sorry and am working on it.”

“Well good, you are a team player. That’s what I like to hear.”

“Yes sir, I understand your concern and I will try harder.”

Seeming puzzled, the manager went on to comment, “I know you’re retired from the Armed Forces. What did they say to you there if you showed up in the morning late so often?”

The old man looked down at the floor, then smiled. He chuckled quietly, then said with a grin, “They usually saluted and said, Good morning, Admiral, can I get your coffee, sir?”

 

 

 

Apr 292017
 

The Fake News Media Jabbed Romney for 2012 Speaking Fees; Defends Obama’s in 2017

Media Propaganda Of The Day: Romney vs. Obama Speaking Fees

Slate took then-presidential candidate Mitt Romney to task in early 2012 over his claim that $360,000 in speaking fees in one year was “not very much.” Five-plus years later, the liberal website is now brushing off the one-time, $400,000 speaking fee former President Barack Obama is receiving from investment bank Cantor Fitzgerald.

Matt Yglesias (who is now at Vox) zeroed in on Romney’s hesitance to releases his tax returns in a short January 2012 item for Slate’s Moneybox blog, but soon underlined that the Republican candidate “lacks perspective on what constitutes ‘not very much’ income.”

 
 
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Apr 292017
 

Snappy Comebacks to the age old question “Why aren’t you married yet?”

  1. You haven’t asked yet.
  2. I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.
  3. What? And spoil my great sex life?
  4. Why aren’t you thin yet?
  5. Because I just love hearing this question.
  6. Just lucky, I guess.
  7. It gives my mother something to live for.
  8. My fiancee is awaiting his/her parole.
  9. I’m still hoping for a shot at Miss/Mr. America.
  10. Do you know how hard it is to get two tickets to Miss Saigon?
  11. I’m waiting until I get to be your age.
  12. It didn’t seem worth a blood test.
  13. I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.
  14. Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.
  15. My co-op board doesn’t allow spouses.
  16. I’d have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.
  17. They just opened a great singles bar on my block.
  18. I wouldn’t want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.
  19. I guess it just goes to prove that you can’t trust those voodoo doll rituals.
  20. What? And lose all the money I’ve invested in running personal ads?
  21. We really want to, but my lover’s spouse just won’t go for it.
  22. I don’t want to have to support another person on my paycheck.
  23. Nobody would believe me in white.
  24. I’m married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation.
  25. (Bonus reply for Single Mothers) Because having a husband and a child would be redundant.

 

Apr 292017
 
Joke Of The Day: Fast Talker At a country-club party, a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when he seriously proposed marriage after only 30 minutes.

“Look,” she said, “we met only a half hour ago. How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other.”

“You’re wrong,” the young man declared. “For the past five years I’ve been working in the bank where your father has his account.”

 

 

 

Apr 282017
 

The Washington Post’s headline is that “Trump now agrees with the majority of Americans: He wasn’t ready to be president” even though Trump does not say anything like that in the article!!!

Media Propaganda Of The Day: Trump Agrees He Was Not Ready To Be President

Donald Trump spent a great portion of 2016 insisting that being president would be easy — at least for him. HuffPost compiled a number of examples of him dismissing the problems that accompany the job as being easily dispatched. Building a wall on the border with Mexico is easy. Beating Hillary Clinton would be easy. Renegotiating the Iran deal would be easy. Paying down the national debt would be easy. Acting presidential? Easy.

To a reporter from Reuters this week, though, Trump had a slightly different assessment of the presidency.

“I love my previous life. I had so many things going. This is more work than in my previous life,” Trump said. “I thought it would be easier. I thought it was more of a … I’m a details-oriented person. I think you’d say that, but I do miss my old life. I like to work so that’s not a problem but this is actually more work.”

It wasn’t the first time that Trump copped to the job being trickier than he anticipated. In November, NBC News reported that Trump had told former House speaker Newt Gingrich that “This is really a bigger job than I thought.” (Gingrich’s response? “…good. He should think that.”) Then there are individual issues. “Nobody knew health care could be so complicated,” he said at one point. At another, he revealed that it took a conversation with the president of China to realize that the situation on the Korean peninsula was “not so easy.”

There’s an element of surprise in Trump’s comments, a hint of bafflement that having responsibility for the welfare of 320 million people entwined in a global economy and international relationships might end up being trickier than running a real estate and branding shop from midtown Manhattan. One group that probably wasn’t surprised that Trump wasn’t prepared? The majority of Americans.

At no point over the course of the 2016 campaign did a majority of Americans think that Trump was qualified for the job of the presidency. Polling from The Post and ABC News shows that views of Trump as unqualified dominated throughout the campaign. The only group that consistently viewed him as qualified to hold the position were the working-class white voters that constituted the core of his support from early in his candidacy.

Read more of this very fake news…

 
 
 

Apr 282017
 

There was no booing: Ivanka Trump with Christine Lagarde and Angela Merkel in Berlin

There Was No Booing Of Ivanka In Berlin

America’s Leftist Fake News would have you believe otherwise!

From BILD:

Many people were surprised by Ivanka Trump’s performance in Berlin. Contrary to the stereotype, the daughter of the US President made a sophisticated and level-headed impression at the panel discussion with Chancellor Angela Merkel, Queen Máxima of the Netherlands, and head of the IMF, Christine Lagarde. The glamorous White House ambassador also cleverly handled a controversial issue.

US media, however, are focusing on something else: they claim that Ivanka was booed and sneered at.

At the “Women20 Summit”, there was in fact a moment during the panel discussion when the audience began murmuring. Panel moderator Miriam Meckel asked Ivanka whether she was speaking as the First Lady – in Melania Trump’s place – or as the new advisor to the President. Ivanka replied in a disarmingly honest way: „This role is quite new to me, it has been little under 100 days.” She said that she would be happy to bring what she learned here home with her and that she would discuss it with her father.

She also said: “I am very proud of my father. Long before he came into the presidency, he has been a tremendous champion of supporting families and enabling them to thrive.”

At this point, there was some unrest in the audience. There was no booing or heckling at all, however.

US media are outraged about the audience’s reaction

This makes it even more surprising that US media are painting an entirely different picture of Ivanka’s appearance in Berlin. The murmuring that could be heard as Ivanka defended her father against criticism was interpreted as massive booing of the President’s daughter.

The alleged hostility toward Ivanka during her visit to Berlin was a lead headline at US outlets such as ABC, CNN, and Fox, along with several major newspapers.

In a discussion broadcast by the Trump-friendly TV station Fox on Tuesday night (local time), the audience of the Berlin event was heavily criticized. A report on the Fox website featured the headline: “Germans jeer Ivanka Trump for defending her father”.

The fact is: Miriam Meckel pointed out that some of Trump’s past utterances with respect to women do raise doubts about whether he in fact supports the empowerment of women.

In the US, it would be rather unusual to pose such a critical question to the President’s daughter. Ivanka, however, reacted with confidence.

She stated that she did of course follow the media reports about this issue. She also emphasized that her own experience and the fact that “thousands of women” have been working with, and for, Donald Trump for decades when he was in the private sector “are a testament to his belief and solid conviction in the potential of women and their ability to do the job as well as any man”.

She herself grew up in a liberal household, said Trump’s daughter. “There was no barrier to what I could accomplish beyond my own perseverance and my own tenacity. There was no difference between me and my brothers.”

Observers and participants agree that the relaxed mood at the summit in Berlin on Tuesday was somewhat rare.

Even the Chancellor seemed to be more relaxed than usual, as did the head of the IMF, Christine Lagarde, who often makes a tough impression. The great women of world politics welcomed the White House envoy with open arms – and the latter clearly seemed to enjoy herself, laughing, joking, and whispering.

During the joint dinner, Merkel and the “First Daughter” also seemed to get along splendidly.

Merkel explicitly thanked the presidential advisor on Tuesday night for her participation in the W20 Summit. “I am very happy that you travelled to Germany. I hope that we were a good audience for you and that you can also travel back with some new ideas,” the Chancellor said during dinner on Tuesday night.

The Chancellor also promised Ivanka Trump that her idea for a new loan programme for women in emerging countries will be part of the German G20 presidency.

The brief wave of criticism during the podium discussion did not taint the further course of the debate and the subsequent talks with Chancellor Merkel in the slightest. On the contrary – Ivanka Trump has proven that she can also confidently handle delicate questions.

 
 

Apr 282017
 

Ronald Bernard, an elite Dutch banker for many decades, has just come forward with his hair-raising story of how the world of the ELITE works.

Int’l Banker Speaks Out, Admits He Was Ordered To Sacrifice Children At Parties For The Elite

Ronald Bernard is a Dutch entrepreneur whose drive and business contacts quickly catapulted him into the world of the financial elite. However, the deeper into this world Bernard went, the more horrifying it became. In a jaw-dropping interview with De Vrije Media, Bernard details this dark and depraved elite society which he says conducted human sacrifice and celebrated destruction.

To not sound like crazed tinfoil ranting kooks, we will admit that the things Bernard mentions in the interview below sound utterly insane and evil. Indeed, it could be entirely made up. In an effort to vet his credibility, however, the Free Thought Project did some background research on him, and it checks out. He is who he says he is.

Also, Pascal Roussel, a fellow insider of the financial world, wrote in ‘The Divine Trap’ about experiences similar to the ones disclosed by Bernard.

As De Vrije Media notes, when Roussel gave a lecture on his book in France, one of the former French presidents was present. Afterward, this man wrote a letter to Roussel, in which he stated: ‘Everything you write in your book, is based on truth’. The fact that barely anyone believes this truth has more to do with the severity of this reality and the successful ‘conspiracy’ labeling introduced by the CIA, which makes it very difficult to be taken seriously by mainstream ‘sensible’ people.

The only reason Bernard is talking about these things now is because his conscience stopped him from participating in these horrid crimes, and he’s since devoted his life to preventing them.

Bernard says he narrowly escaped this world alive and has since begun work on a new system of banking to combat the heavy-handed tactics and limitless wealth of the depraved elite banking class.

In the interview, Bernard shares details about the way this banking society had its members commit unspeakable crimes to people — including children — to test and blackmail them.

“I was warned off when I got into this – don’t do this unless you can put your conscience 100% in the freezer. I heard myself laugh at it back then, but it wasn’t a joke at all.”

Luckily for this former elite banker, however, his “freezer” broke before things got too heavy.

“I was training to become a psychopath and I failed.”

In the interview, Bernard describes how he and his group of financial terrorists crashed the Italian economy, bankrupted companies leading to suicides and destruction — all of which they celebrated.

“One of my colleagues said, ‘Ronald, you remember that case with the Italian lira? Do you remember those deals in which we did massive dumping of the lira, which reduced the value of the currency, which caused a company in Italy to be hit in such a way that they went bankrupt?’

And then you hear at the exchange: ‘Do you remember that successful deal with the lira?” And then they say: “Do you know that the owner committed suicide and left a family behind?”

“And back then we laughed at it. Ha ha ha, altogether, all of us. We looked down on people, mocked them. It was just a product, waste, everything was worthless trash.”

“Nature, the planet, everything could burn and break. Just useless parasites. As long as we met our goals, as long as we were growing.”

But crashing the economy with currency manipulation was only the tip of the iceberg for these sickos. They were into much darker things.

“To put it carefully, most people followed a not very mainstream religion. These people, most of them, were Luciferians. And then you can say, religion is a fairy tale, God doesn’t exist, none of that is real. Well for these people it is truth and reality, and they served something immaterial which they called Lucifer.”

“And I also was in contact with those circles, only I laughed at it because to me they were just clients. So I went to places called Churches of Satan. So I visited these places and they were doing their Holy Mass with naked women and liquor and stuff. And it just amused me. I didn’t believe in any of this stuff and was far from convinced any of this was real. In my opinion, the darkness and evil is within the people themselves. I didn’t make the connection yet.

“So I was a guest in those circles and it amused me greatly to see all those naked women and the other things. It was the good life. But then at some moment, which is why I am telling you this, I was invited to participate in sacrifices abroad.”

At this point in the interview, the elite banker describes the final straw that forced him to get out and come clean — sacrificing children.

“That was the breaking point. Children.”


“You were asked to do that?” asks the interviewer.

“Yes, and I couldn’t do that,” Bernard explains. “And then I started to slowly break down. I lived through quite a lot as a child myself and this really touched me deeply. Everything changed. But that is the world I found myself in. And then I started to refuse assignments within my job. I could no longer do it. Which made me a threat.”

In the interview, Bernard explains that these same tactics are used worldwide to blackmail politicians and those in authority.

“If you Google this you will find there are enough worldwide witness accounts to prove this is not a Walt Disney fairytale. Unfortunately, the truth is worldwide they have been doing this for thousands of years. I once studied theology and even in the Bible you find references to these practices with Israelites.”

Bernard has no doubt that everything he is talking about is true. But he feels this ‘darkness’ is inside these people — who hate life.

“It is a real entity. I have found that what is written in the Bible, and not only the Bible, you can find it in so many books, there really has been a moment of separation from the manifestation of light, in which a group went their own way and are carrying an intense hatred, anger.

“The people who do not underestimate the severity of this are but few. Because this is an annihilating force that hates our guts. It hates creation, it hates life. And it will do anything to destroy us completely. And the way to do that is to divide humanity. Divide and conquer is their truth.

“Humanity is a manifestation of light, that is the true creation. As long as you divide them on political parties, skin color, you name it, then you – from a Luciferian point of view – suppress the full capacities of your enemy, their full power. They can’t stand up for themselves because if they did the Luciferians would lose. This monster, this greedy monster would disappear.

Division is the main tactic of the ruling class to force submission of the populace. As long as people remain busy fighting among themselves, they never stop to look at the rulers who are robbing them blind, using their children to fight wars for profit, and leaving them holding the bill.

Whether or not you believe everything or anything in the video above, evidence of the effects of divide and conquer is all around us and it’s working. As Bernard notes, the solution to this problem is a simple one — unity.

 
 
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