Do you think you know what a sandwich is? It turns out that even some of the things named sandwich are not really legally sandwiches!
We have a basic idea of what a sandwich is: two slices of bread with some tasty stuff in between them, just as the Earl of Sandwich so ingeniously envisioned back in the 18th century. But get past those basics for form, and the specifics of function can make things … tricky. Is a hot dog a sandwich? What about a wrap? What about a gyro? Has an open-face “sandwich,” with its single slice of bread, been lying to us this whole time?
A rat looked through a crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife opening a package. What food might it contain? He was aghast to discover that it was a rat trap. Retreating to the farmyard the rat proclaimed the warning; “There is a rat trap in the house, a rat trap in the house!”
The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, “Excuse me, Mr. Rat, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it.”
The rat turned to the pig and told him, “There is a rat trap in the house, a rat trap in the house!” “I am so very sorry Mr. Rat,” sympathized the pig, “but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured that you are in my prayers.”
The rat turned to the cow. She said, “Like wow, Mr. Rat. A rat trap. I am in grave danger. Duh?”
So the rat returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer’s rat trap alone. That very night a sound was heard throughout the house, like the sound of a rat trap catching its prey. The farmer’s wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see that it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught. The snake bit the farmer’s wife.
The farmer rushed her to the hospital. She returned home with a fever. Now everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup’s main ingredient. His wife’s sickness continued so that friends and neighbors came to sit with her around the clock. To feed them the farmer butchered the pig.
The farmer’s wife did not get well. She died, and so many people came for her funeral that the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide meat for all of them to eat.
So the next time you hear that someone is facing a problem and think that it does not concern you, remember that when there is a rat trap in the house, the whole farmyard is at risk.
|Last week, my friend checked into a motel on her 40th birthday and she was a bit lonely.
She thought, “I’ll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages.”
She looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony – a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo.
He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and she felt quite certain she could bounce a silver dollar off his well oiled bum….
She figured, what the heck, nobody will ever know. I’ll give him a call. “Good evening, ma’am, how may I help you?” (Oh my, he sounded sooo sexy!)
Afraid she would lose her nerve if she hesitated, she rushed right in, “Hi, I hear you give a great massage. I’d like you to come to my motel room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I’m in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you’ve got in your bag of tricks. We’ll go hot and heavy all night – tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything, I’m ready!! Now how does that sound?”
He said, “That sounds absolutely fantastic, but… you need to press 9 for an outside line.”
This wrong on every level but it may be the best Christmas commercial ever made.
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Production Company: World War Seven
Executive Producer: Josh Ferrazzano
Producer: Mike Begovich
Directors: Pete Marquis & Jamie T. McCelland (Pete & Jamie)
Concept: Joel Ackerman and Hector Batiz
Writers: Pete Marquis & Jamie T. McCelland (Pete & Jamie)
Copywriter: Joel Ackerman
Director of Photography: Kevin Phillips
Production Designer: Russell Jaeger
Wardrobe Stylst: Karla Cavalli & Harmoni Everett
Hair & Make-up Artist: Colleen Hogan
Editor: Karen Kourtessis (Beast)
Sound Design: Chirs Stangroom (Hobo Audio)
Colorist: Robert Crosby (Neptune Post)
Santa: Mike Faella
Sister #1: Isabella Blake Thomas
Sister #2: Ava Devoe
Sister #3: Haylie Di Fronzo
Lady on Santa’s Lap: Bethany Woodruff
A scientific look at how female Turkeys choose their mates.
With its fanned plumage and bold strut, a male wild turkey’s display conjures images of Americana and festive feasts. But this grandstanding isn’t intended for human eyes – it’s for female turkeys who actually use it to discern a male’s genetic prowess. How exactly she parses his performance to pick her suitor can be a fairly complex enterprise but thanks to the research of Dr. Richard Buchholz of the University of Mississippi, we have some clues as to what a female turkey finds “hot” in a male.
|What phrase does this rebus represent?
History in the making.